I'm sorry to be spamming you lovely people with threads, but I found something out today. I was at Wetherspoon's with my housemates and we were talking about the C.L.A.S.H society, in which there is a MtF trans woman, and we were talking about something she'd said at the bonfire night BBQ... Fine. But my housemate was reffering to her as he... I instantly corrected him, because of obvious reasons to which he replied... "Fuck off 'she', just because a guy wears a bra, doesn't mean it's a she." I was devastated. And I felt bad for selfish reasons. I knew he wasn't her biggest fan, but I realised that I could never come out while he's in the house. So if I were to come out, it couldn't be until July at the earliest, without fracturing what we've got going in the household. When he said that, I really didn't know what to say back, I was in stunned silence! I mean, she's a really nice girl and if he can't even except her, the fuck? You know? Sorry for another rant, just really needed to get this out there!
"And I felt bad for selfish reasons." No you didn't. You felt bad because he indirectly insulted you, don't try and tell yourself you should feel bad because your housemate was a dick!
I'd have punched him in the face by impulse if I had been there and he said that to me. I'm not even MtF and this angers me. Not saying it would have been okay, but I know how I would have reacted :\
Ouch. Maybe you can change their mind? I want to be optimistic about things. If you challenge their view, they might change it or at least not push it?
OK, I'm a gay guy and i've never questioned my gender at all. I'll be absolutely honest with you - I don't really have any understanding as to what it would be like to be trapped in the wrong body. I've got no reference points & nothing in my own experience I can use to relate to it. Your friends comment is exactly the sort of thing I could have said when I was 21 - even though i'm gay and should really know better! It's a comment I could have made (maybe I did?) without putting any thought into it. But I've educated myself a bit (mostly reading threads on here) recently and I at least now understand how much of a journey you transgendered peeps been on just to get to where you are. Noone would go through that just for sh*ts and giggles. I think if you opened up to your housemates, there's a good chance they'll change their mind. They'll have a billion questions, but if they accept you as a friend now, they'll probably accept you (and refer to you) as your true gender. They'll believe you - it will just take a bit of educating. I know I would accept any of my friends if they were trans. And I'm pretty sure I would have back when I was 21, too.
Thanks for the kind words. He was a complete dick about it. But I don't really know what to do about it. Other than be completely conservative about this. :'( ---------- Post added 8th Jan 2014 at 01:11 AM ---------- Also, maybe. My housemates might be ok, but this guy is halting it all. He's a decent mate, but on the whole, he doesn't get it.
Fair enough! I apologise again for my little rant. I get that he doesn't understand, and he's probably not going to without researching it. I guess I'll have to see what happens if/when I come out.
You can talk to them about it before you come out cant you? I know many people will assume that if you care about LGBT then you must be LGBT. (I explained what the T meant to my parents and my mom snarled back if I was one.) You could have a conversation with him about the other girl and explain why you support their choice and why you think he should too.
They know that I've been to a few LGBT events and that I'm gonna go to a lot more. Whether they think something is up, I dunno. But think I'm gonna keep it all hidden for now. At least until I get a referral.
What is it with people and apologising for ranting! Next time it comes up just switch his pronouns for a while and start calling him Kate. EDIT: I THINK I meant that as a joke!
