So, haven't posted here in a very long time, mostly because I haven't needed this place for help. My life got way better after a while, and while this place was good for me to vent in years ago, it served its purpose. Now I'm back, with an entirely different, and much more menial problem, then the one I had years ago. So. Let's begin, shall we? I am an almost perfectly healthy 18 year-old cis-male, dating a 22 year-old perfectly healthy cis-male. The only issue I have at all is my very low blood pressure, which while common in most people my age, mine is a little bit of an extreme, but otherwise? Nothing. I just recently became sexually active not too long after I began dating my boyfriend of now nearly four months. Every time we have sex, it's always great. Lot's of fun, never really super awkward or anything. The only time I have ever been nervous was maybe the first two times we ever had sex, and even then, it was never extreme or at all uncomfortable. But with all of this, we have only had one problem, and that is that I can't reach orgasm easily. At all. It can be done, eventually, but after a very long time, like, more than 45 minutes sometimes, of continuous stimulation that I have to do myself, until I get close enough that there's almost no stopping it, and then allowing him to take over. Whenever he does it, and sometimes he'll go for an hour nonstop, I always get super close, to the point where I'll let him know, but then... nothing happens, and I lose the feeling. Sometimes it's because he stops and slows down or something. But not always. Sometimes the feeling just fades back to just feeling good instead of about to explode, literally, lol. I know for sure it's not him. He's definitely doing everything right, the pleasure is all there, everything is perfect. It feels right, not painful or anything. The other thing is, when masturbating, I can reach climax in a much more reasonable, but still quite a long time for a guy (15+ minutes). Because of that, I know that at least part of it is that I just naturally last a long time, which for most guys is something they could only dream of! But, it's quite frustrating that he tries so hard to just make me feel good and he doesn't get anything out of it. It's quite frustrating also, getting close and then not getting anything. He tells me that it's okay, and that I shouldn't worry about it, but still, I know it's gotta be frustrating to him as it is to me. So I guess my question is: Do you people think it could be some kind of subconscious nervous thing, or something? Maybe because I'm not used to being stimulated/watched by someone else? I ask it like that because there's one more tidbit of information, once in a while, he and I will do stuff over webcam, and when we do, it also takes me quite a bit longer than normal but not nearly as long as it does when he's actually here in person. Also, I am well aware that the orgasm isn't everything in sex, but still, it's something that we both like to be able to make the other do, and he doesn't have this problem at all. If anybody could provide any insight that would be more than welcome.
I’m female so not sure if I can help but I find I come quicker the more turned on I am. If I’m not turned on enough then I end up giving up. Could extending the fore play time help even after you become erect?
I have the exact same problem. You are almost the same as me. I've been with my bf for 4 months and I'm 17. Became sexually active at the start and have a problem finishing. Extending foreplay will definitely help. Try not to masturbate as much as well. If anyone has any other advice please share. Also you might be kinky and need to try something different. Let him pin you down, tie you up, blindfold you ect. And vice versa.
Staying erect generally isn't a problem unless we've been going at it for a really long time. And we do some kinky stuff, which does help. But perhaps the two of your are right, maybe a mix of both more foreplay, and less masturbation would help. I'll have to give it a try, thank you both!!
