"A bi woman will always choose the man"

When I thought I was bi, although I clearly didn't really like guys I felt obligated to marry one and only be with women during my college years to "get the gay out of me". This isn't really that relevant to the discussion going on here, but I was wondering if any other lesbians when they came across the thread had a similar experience as I did.

I felt the immense pressure from my mom and society to be with a man and produce biological offspring, or else I would not have fulfilled my duty as a woman (no, I don't still feel this way - that woman have to have kids to be successful or whatever - but I did sincerely think this to myself in days past, and it hurt me terribly). So indeed we do live in a very heteronormative society, and because so I think that girls sometimes feel pressured to settle down with men.

BUT being with the opposite sex does not invalidate a bisexual person's bisexuality - if that were the case, in between breaths we are dead. Saying otherwise is, unfortunately, a crappy thing that I see a lot of lesbians saying. And certainly many bisexuals do marry someone of the opposite sex only out of love, with no/little pressure involved from families.

 

Yeah devotions, I did the whole college thing too and then had 'enough of this nonsense' when my heart got broken. Found the closest available man and have been with him ever since... until I met a woman a few months ago.

I felt pressure also from my mom to get married and then have kids. Even now she thinks me living in the city is immature and I should move to the burbs to have a "real" life.

But the longer I live in the city, the more my perception is changing. She and others might feel like I moved to the big city and "lost myself", especially if it turns out I leave my husband for a woman. But the fact is, I "found myself."

 

Ha! Me too, Lipstick Leuger. Me too.

---------- Post added 5th Jan 2016 at 05:29 PM ----------

So true. So many of us are finding ourselves now, and sometimes getting out of the small town/suburban environment and into a bigger, more accepting metropolis provides the freedom to help do that.