1. I wrote "other" as my orientation because i just need confirmation for it. Maybe a bisexual. I feel lonely and stuck because I can't tell anyone else about it. 2. I considered joining a LGBT group at my school but I don't know whether I should. Even if they said that everyone that identify as queer are welcome, there is a chance that I might end up straight. I'm not even sure if I count as "queer" 3. I have a deadbeat father. I think I'm questioning because I don't ever want to end up with a guy like him. Not being straight decreases the chance of dating a guy. So maybe I'm in denial of being straight. 4. Does being lonely make you mistake loneliness for an attraction? 5. This girl I had feelings for (I guess) died a year ago. I hadn't forgotten her and I want to know where her grave is. Is it rude to ask her family of where she is now? They've seen me once at her funeral. 6. Even to this day I really don't know whether I truly liked her or not. 7. Is it bad to have one major interest? I do care about other topics but I'm worried about being too narrow-sighted. 8. Why can't I make friends that contact me first? I'm always the one that starts a conversation. Always. 9. I live because I don't want to die yet. That's pretty much it. I expect things to get shittier. After hraduating college I'm gonna have to pay for student loans, and I expect my familly to nag me forever to get married and live like everyone else. Nothing wrong with that, but everyone in my family are so narrow-minded. (That's the way of life in Asian countries lol) 10. I'm so sick of being in the lower middle class. (Or is it lower class?) Our family can't afford a car. 11. I always feel like I have to hide myself from everyone.
Sorry if this is too much, I just needed to get this off my chest and I hope this is the right place for it.
Welp, since no one else is going to help: 1. "Other" simply means something other than what's listed. You shouldn't feel the need to explain why you chose it. If you're bisexual but still prefer to use it, that's also fine. It wouldn't be right for others to pressure you into identifying as such. 2. So what if you are? The worst that can happen is you make new friends, become more knowledgeable about LGBT issues, and step out of your comfort zone. Besides, if you've made it this far, chances are you're LGBT in some way or another. What others think should not matter. There's always going to be a person who thinks you're not gay, trans, or whatever, enough. 3. Who wants to end up with a deadbeat? Being something other than straight doesn't mean you won't end up with one, since plenty of queer folk get into straight for various reasons. Considering queer women have it even harder than straight women, it wouldn't make sense to try and convince yourself of being bi. You'd simply be more cautious of who you date (or not date), but that doesn't cause attraction to the same sex (else there wouldn't be any women dating men!) 4. Nope. Attraction is something we can't help. Its biological. At one time, I told myself that I liked guys because I was narcissistic, girls were too much trouble, and wanted what gay couples had. Ridiculous, now that I think about it, but no one wakes up WANTING to be a member of an oppressed minority. Gay folk are still tormented all over the world, and carries taboo with it in the most progressive of countries. Its so ingrained, what we think makes a man or woman, what a person *should* do (marry, have children, etc.) 5. If you think you should. Possible to ask friends or do some online snooping. 6. Maybe. There are different forms of attraction, and just because we're attracted to someone doesn't mean circumstances are right for a relationship to form and last. Even then, that doesn't mean it would be healthy or ideal. Its also possible to fall in and out of attraction. 7. Nah, I think many people have one interest that tops the rest. Also possible for that to change or expand into other areas. It would be more worrying if you had zero interests. 8. It could be a lot of things. Maybe they do try, but get tired of always instigating. Maybe they're busy with other people. Maybe they're not really friends. If its a problem, might be time to talk to them about it? 9. Yep, growing up can suck. Have you tried asking your parents or other adults if their life is shitty, or what they live for? Its easy to imagine what things are going to be like ten, twenty, thirty years down the road, but until we're there, we don't know what's going to happen or how. Also, just because you're told to do something doesn't mean you absolutely must! There are ways around, and if that fails, to manage... 10. Why do you hate it? Because of the car? How others perceive you? What would it take to move to a higher class, and what will you do if that's not possible? 11. Hopefully we can help you not have to feel you must hide from everyone
Thanks so much for your reply. I thought it'd be a short list, but after reading it again I realized that it really wasn't I don't like being poorer than my peers because they wouldn't have to think too hard about spending their money. My mom thinks that everything that's on sale are overpriced. She thinks that a hoodie from walmart at a regular price is overpriced.(We don't have walmart here, but I'm just trying to give you an idea) I was sad when I realized that she was trying so,so hard to save money. She doesn't even buy something for herself. We're not extremely poor, but it makes me sad when others can easily have the stuff that we don't have.
There are actually studies out there that prove most people who are wealthy aren't happier (also, you might be surprised to know they're often more frugal than anyone else), but there is a "peak" when people have enough to live comfortably and with the necessities. If its material possessions, these things are fleeting. Is there some way you can balance your parents expectations with something you're passionate about or talented at?
