Hey so I’ve starting actively looking for a boyfriend and flirting with ppl al fun stuff but I have a problem. Everytime a guy shows a bit of interest back i just get attached. It always feels like I care about things more then they do. It’s not healthy and it’ll probably cause me to creep out most of the guys I talk to. I just obsess over them and I can’t help it. I want to stop and just treat it casually and not think abt whatever Guy I’m currently talking to constantly. I don’t wanna feel like I’m constantly waiting on a response. Any thought advice? Idk thanks for reading ig
Hey @Gaypjo, Do you think that your obvious neediness is a significant part of the problem with your ability to establish a solid relationship? QR
It's really a case of trying to keep things in perspective and not become too invested in deeper thoughts too soon. For most people, there is quite a way to go between casual flirting and developing a relationship as boyfriends. While you are flirting with someone, you are learning very little about them as a person, apart from the fact that they are willing to indulge in suggestive banter that might lead to a hook up - at some point. Sad to say that may be the extent of their interest and it takes quite a bit more to reach the boyfriend stage. You know yourself that it's not healthy to develop an attachment too soon and you understand how off-putting it can be and may lead to negative consequences, so it's really a case of taking your own knowledge forward and keeping the facts at the front of your mind, rather than sitting around waiting for responses. Also keep in mind that some people are unable to fire off messages as and when they feel like it and it's totally normal for some hours to pass without hearing nothing. It doesn't necessarily mean you are being ignored or ghosted.
As a first step you could turn off notifications for the apps you’re using to communicate. Also turn of ‘read’ statuses if you can. Try to limit checking the apps to a certain hour each day.
I think it's natural to get excited and want to learn more about a new person that you find interesting. However, you have to pace yourself. It usually takes time for people to open up and develop a friendship. The right person will be just as excited to get to know you as well.
You sound like a Highly sensitive Guy, i recommend you look it up and hope it helps you; here is a video.: