1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Idk what to do.

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Gaypjo, Aug 4, 2020.

  1. Gaypjo

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jan 10, 2017
    Messages:
    48
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    East U.S
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Hey so I’ve starting actively looking for a boyfriend and flirting with ppl al fun stuff but I have a problem. Everytime a guy shows a bit of interest back i just get attached. It always feels like I care about things more then they do. It’s not healthy and it’ll probably cause me to creep out most of the guys I talk to. I just obsess over them and I can’t help it. I want to stop and just treat it casually and not think abt whatever Guy I’m currently talking to constantly. I don’t wanna feel like I’m constantly waiting on a response. Any thought advice? Idk thanks for reading ig
     
  2. Quantumreality

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 25, 2016
    Messages:
    4,283
    Likes Received:
    320
    Location:
    USA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Hey @Gaypjo,

    Do you think that your obvious neediness is a significant part of the problem with your ability to establish a solid relationship?

    QR
     
  3. PatrickUK

    Advisor Full Member Away

    Joined:
    Feb 25, 2014
    Messages:
    6,229
    Likes Received:
    1,461
    Location:
    England
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    It's really a case of trying to keep things in perspective and not become too invested in deeper thoughts too soon. For most people, there is quite a way to go between casual flirting and developing a relationship as boyfriends. While you are flirting with someone, you are learning very little about them as a person, apart from the fact that they are willing to indulge in suggestive banter that might lead to a hook up - at some point. Sad to say that may be the extent of their interest and it takes quite a bit more to reach the boyfriend stage.

    You know yourself that it's not healthy to develop an attachment too soon and you understand how off-putting it can be and may lead to negative consequences, so it's really a case of taking your own knowledge forward and keeping the facts at the front of your mind, rather than sitting around waiting for responses. Also keep in mind that some people are unable to fire off messages as and when they feel like it and it's totally normal for some hours to pass without hearing nothing. It doesn't necessarily mean you are being ignored or ghosted.
     
  4. LaraB

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 29, 2020
    Messages:
    38
    Likes Received:
    24
    Location:
    UK
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    A few people
    As a first step you could turn off notifications for the apps you’re using to communicate. Also turn of ‘read’ statuses if you can. Try to limit checking the apps to a certain hour each day.
     
  5. Songful

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 13, 2020
    Messages:
    76
    Likes Received:
    33
    Location:
    USA
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Family only
    I think it's natural to get excited and want to learn more about a new person that you find interesting. However, you have to pace yourself. It usually takes time for people to open up and develop a friendship. The right person will be just as excited to get to know you as well.
     
  6. Fishtail

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 31, 2016
    Messages:
    350
    Likes Received:
    13
    Location:
    Scandinavia, wanna move T_T
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    You sound like a Highly sensitive Guy, i recommend you look it up and hope it helps you; here is a video.: