All I can say is that once you free yourself from our ingrained compulsory heterosexuality and allow yourself to embrace your homosexuality the freedom and liberation you feel is palpable. The worry over performance issues fades away replaced with a sexual desire only same sex relations bring. Never have failed once becoming aroused when with my BF. For those of us who are gay, a woman cannot provide the emotional and sexual responses we need no matter how hard you try to imagine them. At the very end of my hetero relationship the very thought of intimacy let alone sex with my GF just seemed disgusting.
It's a journey. I finally left, after 30 years, and I have so much regret for not having done it sooner. I thought I had to stay to raise my children, or because she had no job at the time, or because .... The list goes on and on. The truth is I was a coward; I could not come to terms with who I was/am. And she knew it, and preyed upon this fact for many years.
This is interesting to me. Up to a year or so ago, I never felt it was disgusting. It wasn’t that great by any means and I still couldn’t stay hard. Now that has changed and I am feeling that disgust (although I love her so much that is so odd and difficult to write).
I'm so in the same boat as maybgayguy, (wish it was same bed lol) but I watch gay porn every day now, I love my wife, but I long for a BF, for pure sexual and emotional needs. I am definitely gay and have no desire for women at all now
Relationships and Marriages are all complicated because they involve people. Love each other. Sex or not. Love is the key. Sex may follow.
Not a bottom, but suffered the same nerves about sex before my first hookup with a man. I was shaking. He knew it was my first time and was patient and encouraging and throughout the act , I experienced more pleasure than I had in nearly 50 years of living. I knew right there I had made the right decision to come out as gay.
hmmm...not sure what you mean. I would sort of expect that I do the normal heterosexual things in a straight marriage. I think I just lust after men.
I'm sorry for being so inquisitive, but did you top then, on your first time? Did you finish at the same time? Was there oral? Not trying to be kinky, just wondering.
Well, my wife expected me to fulfill her needs. It was always about her. I would only finish after she came a few times and then she would groan because I had ended it FOR HER.
One thing I know is that with my wife I could spend an hour trying and still not have an orgasm and just give up, but when I watch gay porn, it's sometimes all over for me before I get my pants off lol, I guess we just get turned on by what we like and for me it's just men only now. My wife knows and understands this. In fact, I think she knew before I did lol
First time: 1. Yes 2. No, me first, followed by partner 3. Yes, mutual With current partner 1. Yes 2. Usually 3. Always
Thank you. How did you know you were a top? I mean, were you always sure, or was it after that first time?
I dont know about about anyone else, but I've never been with another guy, but am almost certain I would be a bottom, although I might be wrong. But it just seems more natural to me
Yeah, I always knew though decades of fantasizing where I thought I belonged with a guy. After experiencing it just once I knew for sure.
So true it took only one time with a guy and I knew without a doubt I was gay and always had been. It took me a little longer to come out but I knew immediately. Sex just seemed so natural, sensual, erotic and totally unforced. His touch seemed to reach a need in me that took years to acknowledge.That first orgasm was so intense I almost passed out from pleasure. Never ever felt that way with a woman. Absolutely no comparison. To this day I still wonder how I faked it with women for so long. Couldn’t believe that I had wasted years being afraid and only fantasizing about gay sexuality.
Since this thread has taken a lot of twists and turns I thought I'd see if someone else has experienced what I have. I am a better hetero lover having experienced sex with men. My wife and I rarely have sex anymore because of her lack of drive. Although, when we are intimate it is better than it was....for both of us. I think that I have learned to let my guard down and see where it goes. I guess it's vulnerability. I wonder if some of what turbo charges the experiences many of us have when we are able to engage our sexuality is stimulated by this? I also have an incredible sexual relationship with my boyfriend. That has made me a more sexual person overall. So, I pay more attention to the subtleties of intimacy that I might have missed. My other thought is that many of us learned hetero sex when we were younger. In youth I didn't know I could ask what turned on my lover or I was afraid to be experimental. I'm not afraid of that with my boyfriend and that makes the experience richer.