I think I was 13 and I only came out to my friends at the time. Then, around 14 I got outed to the rest of the high school. Now, I'm 20 and still haven't told my family.
I have always been out. It wasn't great because my father saw it as a reflection upon him that his son "wasn't a man", in his opinion. He used humiliation and degradation in an effort to shame me into "changing my mind". I did eventually "change my mind", but not in the way he wished as I simply discovered that I -also- liked girls... but still liked guys better. Bisexuality is not something he would have been able to grasp, neither is pansexuality, which I eventually developed towards as my interests expanded in my 20's. It was not something he ever had a chance to grapple with, though, as he passed away.
I half came out in school/at 18 but officially at 22. At 15 I told my Mum I really liked my (girl) best friend and then at 18 had my first girlfriend which my Dad was against so I tried to pretend I wasn't gay anymore & got a boyfriend. I had 2 relationships with men which were a disaster & then at 22 I officially came out & accepted the fact I was gay & I couldn't live my life pretending I wasn't. So I told everyone including my family & thankfully most were really supportive.
Everyone comes out at a different pace and it's rarely a one step to completion process. I'm still in the process of coming out to some people, and whenever I meet someone new I debate whether or not to come out to them. I came out as bisexual around the last year of high school. I'm in my second year of university and I'm just simply out as a bi, and out as trans to my closer friends (and my high school close friends), but not to everyone yet.
I can identify with so much of this, especially "not being the promiscuous sort" and the crying . I came out today.
I came out to my mom, stepdad, and most of my family when I was eighteen. I'm a person who worries about others' perceptions of me, and I was so scared of them viewing me differently because of my sexuality. My family's relatively liberal, so there wasn't any problem. No one knew, but they just shrugged like I had told them the color of my shirt, hugged me, and told me they loved me no matter what. I came out publicly to my friends on social media later that year, still eighteen. The fear came back, but that's because I attended a conservative all girls high school where people spend more time wondering who's a lesbian than they do studying for their history tests. But again, no suspicion by anyone, tons of support all around, even from friends who had made some sort of negative comments about the LGBTQ+ community in their younger days of ignorance. Love all around, no friendships changed. At. All. By the time I turned nineteen, I was out to everyone except my ultra-conservative father. Keeping it from him was easy since my parents are divorced and I'd only see him on a bi- or tri-weekly basis. At the time, I was also concealing two tattoos from him as well-- full of secrets, this one. Our relationship had always been rocky, so I figured I'd just live a life that he didn't know about, because, you know, what he doesn't know won't hurt him. But it hurt me, so at some point this past summer, after a good amount of tears and nervousness and a strong refusal to ever see the man's face again, my mom invited him over, and I told her to come out to him for me. Yeah, I'm not brave. So she did (and told him about the tattoos), and he became a different person than the one I had avoided my entire life. He thought nothing of it. Hell, he took it better than she did! And now my dad and I are actually building a healthy relationship of honesty, trust, support, and all the other things we never had. I even look forward to seeing him, and we go out weekly. I'm privileged, I know, and I don't mean to shove that down anyone's throat. The point of this post is to show that people will surprise you. Not everyone's as bad as your mind makes them out to be. Again, I grew up in one of the most liberal towns in a predominantly liberal state. As a child, I had gay neighbors, gay teachers, and gay family friends. Those people indirectly paved the way for an overall smooth coming out. A few years later than I would have liked, but a smooth coming out, nonetheless!
Reading through everyone story made me happy and sad at the same time. I can't imagine how much suffer everyone has gone through but I hope everyone ended up in a good and happy life.
I was 64 and it was the hardest thing that I have ever done. That was 2 1/2 years ago and I am in such a better place now. I lament the lost years, but it is what it is and I am so much happier now.....David
17. But I knew I liked both before that but wasnt interested in relationships and more on school work/computer gamed so didn't really think about it.
My mom "overheard" (eavesdropped) on me coming out to a friend over xbox live when I was about 18/19. That side of my family worships fox news so I'm not sure how long I would have waited to come out if she hadn't found out. Luckily she was fairly accepting/supportive. At the time, I wasn't planning to come out for the foreseeable future. I was 16 when I came out to my first friend and came out to more friends as high school graduation approached. Now I'm out to all family and anyone who I become friends with. I decide to come out to certain people at work depending on how work dynamics go.
I was 15 when I told my closest friends and my family. I'm still not out to everyone yet, though it might be kinda obvious, as I'm a co-president of a rights club and in charge of the queer section.
The first time (as a lesbian): The moment when I said to myself "I guess I'm out now" was on my 17th birthday. At the time, I felt like 17 was on the older side to be coming out because I had a lot of friends who came out in middle school. The second time (as trans): A year and a half later, during my first semester of college. Again, I felt like I was older. I remember at one point I literally googled the words "Is 18 too old to be questioning my gender identity?" In retrospect, while I know people who came out significantly earlier or later than I did, both of those were right on time for me.
About 24-25 when I first started coming out to some friends and family, gradually others over the next 2-3 years. Finally came out to absolutely everyone at 27, and I'm now fully out and free.
14 to my friends, 15 to my parents. friends were instantly accepting, parents still won't acknowledge i told them. oh well.
I was 26, I’m 27 now so It’s still kind of new to me. I wish I would have come out when I was 16 but oh well. Life is so much easier to deal with now, and I have never regretted my decision to come out.