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How old were when you came out?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by frappuccno, Sep 28, 2017.

  1. frappuccno

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    How old were you when you came out? and how was the feeling?
    and How old are you who haven't come out yet? I'm 23 and my closet is so deep that I don't know when and how to come out of it yet xD
     
    #1 frappuccno, Sep 28, 2017
    Last edited: Sep 28, 2017
  2. Chiroptera

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    I came out at 20. :slight_smile:
     
  3. frappuccno

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    How was your feeling back then??
     
  4. Bjorn

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    I came out in February this year(15) and it was terrible I was so scared and so I told my parents and they said they already know
     
  5. YermanTom

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    I left it just a little late!
    I came out to my wife at 56 and to the rest of my family at 60.

    Do I get a prize for being the oldest?

    The right time to come out is when you feel it's the right time.
     
    #5 YermanTom, Sep 28, 2017
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  6. Jon Jon

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    I started coming out to other people back when I was a sophomore in college. So I was 19. I came out to by family when I was 20. Which was a disaster, but it's better now. Of course, that's because my dad died. But that's another story...
     
  7. Chiroptera

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    I tried looking for my Coming Out Story here, but i can't find it for some reason. Meh u.u

    I was really, really scared. I didn't know how my friends would react. I was missing classes on the university.

    My friends started to notice that i was sad. One day, a friend of mine went to my house (he was selling something to my roommate), and, when i was opening the door for him to leave, he commented that i was sad for quite some time, and i said it was nothing. Then he said: "Hey, you didn't turn gay, did you?". I said: "Well..."

    Then, after standing there for a few seconds, he asked if i wanted to talk, and i said yes. He was very supportive (and even missed a date to spend some time with me that day - we ended up talking for like two hours).

    That felt like a huge burden coming out of my shoulders. It got easier and better when i told my other friends.

    TL;DR: It was hard at first, but totally worth it for me. I'm lucky to have my friends with me.
     
    #7 Chiroptera, Sep 28, 2017
    Last edited: Sep 28, 2017
  8. Spot

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    I first came out at 14 and I was nervous af, I felt like I was going to have a panic attack. I actually cried when I came out to my mom because I was so terrified.
     
  9. Creativemind

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    I was 14. Sooo long ago.
     
  10. BothWaysSecret

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    I came out this year at 23. Only four people know, and none of them are family. To be honest, when I first figured out I was bisexual, I thought I would never come out. I was completely set on not telling anyone my whole life. However after a few months it got to a point where I couldn't keep it in anymore. It was just eating away at me, and I'd probably have gone crazy keeping that bottled up to myself. Now it's a lot easier having a few people I can talk to about certain things.
     
  11. Misadori

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    I came out as a trans to my first friend when I was around 22-23 years old. It was via a text message when she told me one of her deepest secret that no one else knew about. In return, since I had such big trust and respect for her, I told her mine in return. Ever since, I've been comin' out to one friend at a time and it could take a year 'til I dared to tell another one. How I wished that I could've been more brave and stronger to come out earlier, there's so many wonderful things I've missed out through the years, years of gazin' upon clothes and just wished that I could feel the feelin' of wearin' that coat, that skirt, that dress or whatever that caught my eyes.

    Today, I'm 27 years old and it was only a few months now when I first dared to open up to my little sister. I was on vacation back then when me and my friends had deep conversations about stuff and importance of life. Those conversations made me feel vulnerable and more open which was required for me to dare to come out to someone. I thought it was time for my little sister then 'cause I wanted at least one family member to know about the true me. Funny enough, it took only a week when I told my parents. Now that I had put this, as I love to call it, "bubble" partly around the house, I thought it was time to do it for real. My sister got the perfect letter, the letter I've always imagined that I wanted to write by hand to my parents:slight_smile: I could never re-write that letter into the same level of perfection so I used the text message I sent my little sister and copied it for my parents with some important minor adjustments (such as names, grammar and suchx) ). Indeed, it did felt abit less personal since I copied it but like I mention: What I wrote to my sister was 'The Letter' and perfection is hard to re-do into detailed view:stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
     
  12. Queermo

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    23? Again recently (25) but back in because my homophobic family brushed it off.
     
  13. OGS

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    21. I'm 46 now. It went surprisingly well, especially considering that back then I was actually the first out gay person most people I knew had ever encountered. Best decision I ever made!
     
  14. xSilent08x

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    I self identified at 8, I came out at 14 which thankfully everyone was fine with, went into camouflage at 22, and now at 29 I am coming back out.
     
  15. alloftime

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    I came out to my sister at 12 to stop her killing herself, but even though it did help her she forced me to come out to my Mum a year later which was the worst time of my life because she has not excepted it. My sister is also telling me to hide it from everyone as it does not fit her " life plans" for me to come out
     
  16. Kyrielles

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    I came out around age 15/16 to a couple close friends, didn't come out to family and others until 21.
     
  17. HuskyPup

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    Let's see...to certain friends at 15/16, and folks at 17/18? This was in the late 1980s, in a rural area, it wasn't easy, I was angsty on and off suicidal then, and the worst part had to be how isolated and different I felt: but not just from being 'different', but even from the gay 'community', its not a place I have ever really felt very welcomed by, or found that I fit into. It seemed so phony, preppy and superficial; I was more the punk rock/intellectual rebel, and I never found the gay community much liked nor understood that sort of person.

    Even now, gay bars make me feel very out of place, which is odd, as I'm very social, but I feel like there's some kind of pressure, or this limited number of roles gay men must select from, that are on such forceful display there, and even at support groups...

    I digress.

    Coming out was hard. I cried a lot, and still do, and its been the loneliness, more than anything, odd interests, certain odd fetishes, not being a promiscuous sort, and not finding people to really ever fully express myself with.

    I came out, and still feel alone, all these years later, in this viscerally painful way.
     
  18. HM03

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    The very first time I came out I think I was 16, almost 17. I came out a few times, and the initial responses were good, but then it always got shoved under the rug and the friendship died (I think it was a coincidence).


    Then at 20 (so this year), I told my (at the time) only irl friend. We basically only talked about school work. We were both extremely unhappy ( for different reasons), yet we just awkwardly and vaguely danced around our issues. Once I had a little meltdown and came out, our friendship got so much better and now we freely talk about our issues.

    It really was a freeing experience, but starting irritating me only being open for a few hours a week, then the rest of the time being closeted. And while coming out to her made me not feel as alone, I was still pretty damn depressed and felt like I couldn't feel much worse, so I came out to a shit ton more people.

    It's probably because I'm in Canada, everybody I know is a somewhat liberal, female university student - but I'm still surprised how well it went. Everybody (which besides that one friend, were only aqaintances) was supportive, and a few people have really put in effort to help me.

    Probably for a few reasons, but people actually seem to like me more after coming out. I wouldn't consider them best friends or tell them all my issues, but I've made quite a few friends since then. I still have my days (probably more than the average person), but I'm a lot happier than I was 2 months ago, and when I do have my days I feel alot more in control than I did before.
     
  19. lonely penguin

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    I came out as bi-gender to my mother and (lesbian) sister at 16. They were accepting, but they didn't understand or know what I meant. I tried to explain the best I could. There was no relief that I'd been assured by the media there'd be, which was pretty disappointing and hard. It didn't feel much different to be out of the closet. My best friends know, of course they understood and were great because they were co-presidents of their highschool's GSA and are both lgbt.
     
  20. Andrew99

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