Strange But True Confessions

When I was a little kid (maybe six or so), I firmly believed that someone lived in my friend's attic. I'm still not too sure what sparked it, but I blame it on her room having one of those closets that had a hidden set of stairs.

 

When I was younger, I frequently confused minutes and hours.

My mom told me to go to my room for five minutes once, and I thought "OH GOD, WHAT AM I GOING TO DO FOR SO LONG?!"

 

I used to have Barbies. Being a tomboy, I would hang them off my loft bed around the necks, and cut off their hair. I was much more happy when I got a remote control toy car and Tinker Toys as presents. If someone gave me a Barbie at Christmas or my birthday, it didn't look like a Barbie the next year. I wanted boxes and boxes of Legos for presents. My favorite childhood toys other than Legos and Tinker Toys were toy dragons and Bionicles.

 

I would pop my sister's Barbie's heads out of their sockets.

 

Me and my cousins would cut their hair off.

 

I used to put ketchup on brownies and eat it. It was surprisingly good at the time, but sounds very unappetizing now...

 

My parents told me that I used to growl before falling asleep and when my grandma watched me the first time, she totally panicked and called my parents because of the weird noises I made. I don't know if I still growl but nobody ever commented it, so I guess not...

 

I used to use Barbie's limbs as chew toys and as a result their hands became deformed and sometimes their legs popped off because they were so damaged XD. (I also liked to cut their hair). Then I just pretended they were disabled when I played pretend games with them XD

I remember I was older than seven. I think I'd still like to chew them if I hadn't thrown them away XD

I like to chew things XD ^^;

 

When I was a kid, I used to bite the inside of my mouth and slap skin because the pain gave me a high for some reason. I also had trouble pronouncing the 'Th' sound so imagine me counting: 1, 2, free. I had to go to speech therapy for a while and if I don't focus, I still to this day screw up once on th words once in a while.

 

When I was very little (without many friends) I used to have imaginary friends. They were ghosts.

Also, since my dad used to have friends over for poker now and then and I thought that was the coolest thing ever, my ghost friends used to have poker parties in my closet. Only I could join. Essentially, I would just sit in my tiny closet in the dark and pretend I was playing poker with ghosts.

I have more stories.

 

Once when I was in college, after a 48ish period of no sleep and lack of food, I slept-ate an entire pizza. Truth be told when I woke up later...I didn't feel too good.

 

I love dipping fries into ice cream, I used to do it all the time whenever we went to an all-you-can-eat place. I'm really craving it now but I'm trying to eat healthier.

 

I will do the most randomist things at times that seem really strange to others but is like really normal for me (so basically hyperactive).
And I used to dance in the paddocks naked right in front of the horses and no one would really care. It was usually quite muddy.

 

I thought everyone loved that combination? It's not as weird as pickles and peanut butter.

 

Me and a good friend used to go out to bars and clubs in disguises - Wigs, glasses, clothes etc - and act out false personas to avoid being recognised and just generally act like fools.
Everyone probably knew it was us anyway because it was a reasonably small community but they just went along with it because they were used to our odd behaviour...

 

I don't eat out much, but when I do, if I'm at a Wendy's and feeling decadent, I'll get one of their mini vanilla "frosties" (just soft serve in a cup, really) and dip my fries in it. It's way better than dipping them in ketchup. Ice cream french fry dippers unite!

Ok, my strange but true confession: despite being a gay guy, I love going to hardware stores and doing home improvement projects - or embracing my inner lesbian, as I like to call it. ;-)

 

I once stole a substitute teacher's printer card, and held onto it for years afterwards.

 

Back when I would get picked on in school I was rather good at mimicking some form of insanity that made the other students finally fear/avoid me and I could draw in peace. Had to practice giving a toothy grin in the mirror for weeks before It was ready to test, and sort of changed my voice and made my eye twitch, even gave a kid "the look" while holding a saw in construction class. That was back when I was around 13 or so? When people finally started leaving me alone I gave up the act silently. I'll admit, as scrawny as I was it was quite enjoyable overhearing others saying stuff like "Don't go near that crazy kid, too dangerous." coming from those "big and tough" boys.

There was actually this one guy who cut me with a brick shard when I was sleeping after that, I assume to see if I was "still crazy" and I don't know what got into me but I kicked his ass with a lunchbox stuffed with plastic containers. Thankfully, nobody has attacked me since then. I guess they let me off the hook since I was the one bleeding, but that was very harsh and my only experience with that sort of behavior. I still wonder if it's normal, or what went wrong to this day, I'm supposed to be gentle and clam.

There was this one time I ran out into a road to save an injured tortoise, but that's a story for another day. I make very few "impulse decisions" so I remember them better than most things I've been through.

 

I almost died from biting my nails once. Yes, that literally, legit happened. Yes, I am now the unquestioned victor of this contest. Thank you.
Lol jk. XD But that did happen though.