Is Everyone Bisexual? (The Choice of Sexuality)

Yeah, the thing is, none of us truly understands how it feels to be attracted to anyone else but the people we are attracted to. As Canterpiece said, it can be hard to wrap your mind around how anyone can see men as attractive when you are a lesbian, the same can be said about gay guys or people who are straight. That's why we identify as orientations that are not bisexual. You just need to accept the fact that others experience the world differently than you do...

Personally, because I only feel attracted to women, being bi is completely and utterly unappealing to me as I am simply not attracted to men. It baffles me that anyone would believe that I am deep down also attracted to men as when I look at them, I feel absolutely nothing but indifference.

 

the only existing social influence is that if there was no bias, more bisexuals would come out. And that still is a "no" to the question. So, potentially there are more bi people than we see reported because of prejudice, but that's it. And if nobody is 100% binary... what does it change? Is someone 99% gay going to even seriously consider the 1% besides jerking off to lesbian porn as a confused teenager? I don't think so.

 

I don't understand the whole of it either. Which is why I'm actively reading this thread to see if I can make sense of anything anyone says here.

This I agree with. I don't know if my reply constitutes as calling any one "Homophobic", but it's not homophobia here. This is a safe forum to ask for advice and discuss. That's what forums are for.

 

I don't think everybody is bisexual. I consider that I am 100% gay, for example.

 

Let me elaborate on what I wrote earlier. Kinsey scale is really a brilliant thing because it gets rid of pointless assertions.

Here is why:

If sexuality is a spectrum, and it mostly is... then consider this. How much % of straight one needs to have to be bisexual? 1%? 3% 5%? Or maybe 10%? The answer is: to be bisexual, the percentage of straight in your gayness has to be significant enough to validate realistic attraction. I'm quite sure 1% ain't gonna cut it, not even 5%.These may only validate an occasional boner. Now... I have no idea how to "measure" that but the point is: even if, quite possibly, most people have a very minor gay/straight ingredient, it's usually insignificant enough to make a person bisexual.

Because, bisexual means being "bi enough" to actually notice. Your mythical 1% gay person will not notice. And in this Kinsey let's us forget the poitless fractions of the spectrum by introducing degrees of significant enough variations.

 

I think that the thought that everyone is capable of being bisexual is a thought that gives comfort to some people. For better or worse we are all social creatures, and we seek the comfort of a group and cultural identity. So if everyone can be bisexual our minds would say "we really do fit in". That said I don't think this is true. My experience with my mostly straight friends says that there is no room for fluidity in their sexual preference. I know there is no way I could like just men or just women, I deifinatly tried to just pick a side in high school. It just doesn't work, you like who you like. But I do see the attraction to the idea that if everyone's sexuality is fluid we are all essentially the same. It's just not true, I gave it my best effort.

 

I think most people are more flexible than they think and everyone would have less stress if we didn't feel the need for labels, but even me here saying that likes a label. I don't think everyone is bisexual though.

There are very few who are at the extremes of the kinsey scale, with probably most people more in the middle with there being more over on the straighter side. But for someone who is right near the gay end, they may have the capacity to love some rare OS person, but... it's so unlikely to happen why would they not call themselves gay - they probably wouldn't even have any idea that it could happen so they basically are gay. And they wouldn't be able to be turned straight, because they would still be barely ever attracted to OS and always attracted to SS no matter what you did to them. Also, saying that if everyone was bi people could be turned straight is basically implying that bi people can be turned straight...

I also agree with Berru that people are a bit pressured to label themselves as either gay or straight, and I feel like some people jump on those labels when they might actually be a bit more central on the kinsey scale and they're limiting themselves. I don't understand it when some gay people say it seemed easier to come out as bi first or something... I practically wish I could say I was just a lesbian so I could come out to my mother without her calling me morally bankrupt and confused - a lot of people just do not beleive in bisexuals. I could see why someone like me would just jump on lesbian if less informed.

 

I'm gonna say no, not everyone is. The fact that a person might only be attracted to one sex should be respected just as much as the fact that a person might be attracted to multiple sexes.

 

I don't think that sexual orientation is related to being flexible or not. It's something innate and most people are simply not attracted to people of one sex or another. There is nothing inherently better about being bisexual or any other orientation, they all just exist and the existence of multiple orientations just makes life more varied.

Labels serve an important purpose in establishing a sense of self and being and help us understand each other a bit better. It's one of the reasons that this community can exist as it helps us connect to each other through a shared label.

I'll never really understand why anyone would believe that bisexuality doesn't exist. I'm sorry that your mother has such views, I hope that when you come out she will respond in a kind way. You can never really know, sometimes people surprise you. (*hug*)

 

When my BF was growing up, one of his parents had a concern about his sexuality due to pictures on his bedroom wall of a shirtless Bruce Lee, and some other guys, instead of women. What that parent didn't get was he wasn't attracted to those guys, he wanted to be like those guys.