Getting tired of this No asians No black etc.

BRAVO! for this thread!

Just reading through it makes me feel optimistic.

 

When I see someone say that, it doesn't come off as preference to me. I have preferences too, but it doesn't include omitting entire races/demographics/populations. >.> I've found attractive people from all races. I mean... seriously... If you can't find a single attractive asian, black, hispanic, or w/e then there's some serious underlying problems there (ingrained/subconscious prejudice? *shrugs*). Like some have said though, it doesn't even offend me anymore. It just makes it that much easier to overlook that person.

 

The moment you put "No asians. No blacks" into your profile then that is already racism. You do not just exclude an entire race because of a preference. That's like saying the people who belong to that group cannot be pretty. Like seriously, why? It is racism.

Middle-eastern men are asian!



Hello

If you find this guy attractive and you say no asians.. OMG YOU'RE A BLOODY HYPOCRITE!

Here's another asian...


and another one:


and here's a black man:


and another one


and another....


Now tell me, are these men not attractive?

There are a lot of attractive people from all over the world. Your loss if you limit yourself. That's all I'm saying.

 

The first guy has such amazingly superhero facial structure. OMG. I'm so jealous :tears::tears::tears: *Looks at him. Looks at self. Le sad*

 

hehe, I actually am not keen on "Ken doll" type guys, regardless of race. Handsome, intellectually stimulating, thoughtful, every day average type guys are the sexiest! And I have yet to meet someone that I did not think was Handsome

 

While I do believe that it's not discriminatory to have preferences, I would never write "No this, no that" on my profile. When I first realized I was gay and I started looking for a woman on a dating site, I didn't know what my type was and I didn't want to lose any possible great relationship opportunities by pigeon-holing myself. I know that there are certain traits that I don't necessarily find attractive, but I left myself open to meeting anyone because physical attraction is only one facet of what makes great chemistry. You never know, one person you click with might change your tastes.

For me, at first I thought that I would probably go for a femme-ish woman like myself, but I ended up meeting a woman who was a little more masculine than me and through talking to her and seeing her and spending time with her, I didn't regret my decision one bit. She is beautiful and I couldn't be more physically attracted to her.

In my opinion, it makes it easier to weed out the jerks from the good ones. If I saw a profile that said "No fatties, no blacks, etc" I would just stop reading and move on. It's hurtful and no one should give the time of day to someone who would treat other people as if they're an item on a rack at a store.

 

I don't agree with this at all. Yes, it is highly ignorant to exclude an ethnicity on your profile, but to say it is racist is a leap. You don't know these people, so you can only say it seems racist, at best.

Also, that picture of the first "black man" on your list, do you know if he considers himself as such? I am a mixed race myself, and if I were considered black just because I am mixed with it, I'd be a little offended; and that very thing could be considered racist in and of itself. Reason being is because it's very reminiscent of the "one drop rule." I prefer not to be labeled myself much, personally. Who knows, he could be the same way.

As for your various pictures, all of the guys you showed are attractive people, but it doesn't mean that I have to be attracted to them myself (nor can I be in some cases). Is attraction a choice? Most of us would say no. So then, why would you condemn others for not feeling attracted to a certain ethnicity when the lack of attraction is not a choice? Racism is not always the cause for one not feeling attracted to a certain ethnicity. By that logic, I should be considered sexist because I'm not attracted to women.

In the end, there is no use to get so bent out of shape about this. If a person feels so strongly against an ethnicity that he must exclude it on his profile, then why would you even want to meet such a person in the first place?

 

Do you even know the definition of racism? Whether it be ignorance or intended, it is still racism. Simply put, it is racial discrimination. When you include things things like "No asians", "No blacks", "No whites", or "No Latinos" in a profile, you are already excluding a certain group of people based on prejudiced ideas about them. I believe it is okay to have these ideas because they are both social and cultural in some cases, but to entirely discredit a whole group of people based on this is ridiculous. The idea that you CANNOT be attracted to a person who belongs to some racial groups is absurd to me. How come?

I do not see why you would be so offended about a part of your heritage when it simply isn't the one that defines you as a person. If the man has african roots, isn't being black a part of who he is? I admit that I did automatically label him as a black person based on phenotypic traits but those are already inferences made from fact which I don't think is inherently racist. I would see why you would think it could be offensive especially if it's the first thing people talk about but can it be helped if some people might have poor taste in conversation starters? As for the picture, I didn't think he was less attractive for appearing black in it. I didn't think that a certain group was superior in any sense. If he were black or martian, he is still physically attractive and depending on his personality, I might fall for a person like him.

I am mixed as well. I'm Scottish but I don't look the part. Whenever someone plays the racial guessing game on me, I am amused. I take little offence because I myself am very aware that I am racially ambiguous and some people are just really curious.

Sexism and racism are totally different things. You can't compare them. Sexuality explains your attraction to the opposite sex or the same sex. If you're gay, you like men. If you're lesbian, you like women. If you like both, you're bisexual. It isn't based on your ideas about how a woman is. It isn't even about how you feel that men are superior to women and that's why you're attracted to them. You're attracted to men because you find them attractive (masculinity, etc) and biologically, you react to them. Women don't have that much of an effect to you. Whether these women are nice or not, it doesn't matter. You don't feel anything at all. However with racism, it isn't even biological. It is the result of years of prejudice against certain racial groups and that is the reason why you cannot find people from those groups attractive whether physically or some other aspect of who they are.

How you define someone as physically attractive is through the environment you grew up in, the media you consume, the universal standards of beauty thought to be "true" in your culture or area. Although attraction per se cannot be controlled, your perception of physical beauty is heavily influenced by your surroundings and in my own opinion, simply going by that is shallow. If in the end it all boils down to how pretty one person can be, isn't it a losing game for everyone.

I honestly am not bent out of shape about it. I don't even use those apps because I've heard that a lot of superficiality runs deep down there and it's not really the best place to find your dream partner. All is cool though.

 

I agree with many people here.

@colt In the real world, I'd love a guy around my area whom has a mindset like you, whom not only does not discriminate based off race, but also age. I see many profiles on different sites that will say only 20-30 year old people when they are 21 at the moment. I think it's discriminating and limiting your options and possibilities.

I'd love to hear all your thoughts on if you think limiting it to age ranges like these are also discrimination.

I also agree that most of these sites are mostly looking for hookups. Even if you are looking for friends, the person maybe thinking with benefits, because you didn't state it on your profile, or whatever the reason.

I think even the high profile sites can have these kinds of people.

Key point, if you are wanting only casual sex, you can find that all over the place! What you won't know, however, is if they are actually disease free, or anything like that.

 

I guess I see what you're saying. You provided more explanation here, which I can agree with.

 

I'm Indian. Racial preferences exist and I myself have racial preferences. I date outside my race and I avoid several ethnic groups. What do you do if you seriously dislike an ethnic group because they are a turn-off?

There are several ethnic groups I can think of where I just could get along with them, even as friends.

These are dating apps and outside the white-black dichotomy of the United States, there are serious problems between ethnic groups that generally hate each other. Sometimes it's acceptable to just say "no blacks", "no muslims", "no gypsies", "no paksitanis", "no eastern europeans" etc... because it's the truth and there's nothing you can say that will change that.

It's also different from a fetish where you find an ethnic group unusually attractive, moreso than the people you usually like. Therefore, you would put something like "want/prefer".

 

I apologise for not being clear ealier. (!) we're friends now hahahaha.

In the end, everyone's just looking for love (in whatever form for that matter)

 

You can never get rid of the feelings in heart. I suggest we go even further and call everyone that hasn't slept with a person from each race a racist!

 

You are being sarcastic, right?

 

I think it's pretty normal to have preferences when it comes to physical appearance and I guess most people tend to feel physically attracted to people with features (and also social background, culture, ethnics etc.) similar to their own, but I still find it somehow dumb and even discriminating to completely exclude a whole race or nationality from the start, when it comes to finding a partner. Overall, there are just preferences and looks or national origin shouldn't be one of the main factors, when it comes to finding someone to love anyway.

 

Oh no, it's fine. I wasn't very clear either at one point in my response.

I am not offended if one merely asks me if I am mixed or whatever. I become offended if once they find out I am mixed with black, and that I don't identify with being called black, they either label me as that anyway, or they call me a self hater or other such nonsense.

So, in other words I am mixed with Norwegian, Brazilian, -->BLACK<--, and Irish. When 'black' takes precedence over anything else I may identify with, that is what is offensive.

Anyway, sorry for getting off topic. :icon_bigg

 

Trying to be. There's nothing wrong in preferring one race over another, imo. I mean the very reason we're gay is because we prefer men to women(or vice versa). If we want to be allowed to choose the gender we love, why not choose the race/ethnicity too? I personally can't say that I have preferences. I agree with most people above that there are beautiful people among every race. It's silly to disagree with that. But it's rather dumb to call people with preferences racist. Though it's mostly a free world. Everyone can say/do whatever they like, so go on~

 

Come on. You're not going to tell me that sexual views aren't influenced by our environments at all. It's no coincidence that the races considered most different from whites are the ones that seem to be rejected the most, or treated like some exotic adventure.

The thing is, orientation is not a choice. The jury is still out on whether it's something 100% inborn, but by our early years, it's pretty much set in stone. The rest is up to us to discover. On the other hand, seeing whites as being more desirable (and not only by white people, themselves) all across the board is definitely the result of colonialism, media, power structures.

I'll say it again, even if I'm tired of repeating myself: using "preference" to completely write off a group of people isn't discriminatory, prejudiced, and dishonest. I don't see "no ___" as being too different than segregation and bans on interracial marriages. Just because a minority group is doing it, or in private, doesn't make it any less troubling.