Finding peace during divorce / coming out late

The Velvet Rage seems to be more geared for men. To be more specific, here is a quote from the introduction of the book:

"It must be noted that what is written here is in many ways applicable to lesbian women, too. While I do work with many lesbian women and find their journey to be similar, the ways which it is explored are often very different....They express their struggle with shame differently and in a uniquely female way. So it is out of respect for lesbian women that this book is written about gay men only. To be more inclusive of the lesbian experience would undoubtedly result in a book that does the lesbian experience an injustice. The stages of their lives are the same; however, the way in which they unfold is often very different."

That said, I found that there is a lot of information in the first few chapters that could be transferred to women as well. But, as the author stated, a more thorough look at the shame lesbian women deal with should be written in an entirely separate book. A quick search on Amazon yielded a highly recommended book: Late Bloomers: Awakening to Lesbianism After Forty. The title may be a little deceiving, as some of the highest reviews are from people younger than 40.

 

You know, I've thought a lot about how I could have let myself go along with things for so long. I was married 13 years, and I am 39 now. I just now am coming out. But, even though I do beat myself up over that from time to time, I can't help but remind myself that I just wasn't ready until this year to do what I have done. And each of us has a different timetable. The time for me is not the time for you. When it's right, it will feel right. Hard and painful, yes. But it somehow will just feel right. Like if you don't do it now, you will betray yourself and every shred of dignity that you have. I had to absolutely get down to that point. Okay, I got there a THOUSAND times....but it took a particularly poignant moment and me actually making a promise to myself that I was going to do this. It was that promise to myself, and my desire to honor myself and finally start respecting myself, that was the catalyst.