When did you know you were gay

I've always liked men in skintight clothing. The first time I wore tights I was six years old and a few years later I put on my mothers pantyhose. Although at the time I did not feel different that subtle attraction was still there. 20 years ago I started to wear pantyhose everday and in that time, I started to feel more comfortable with that and considered that most people thought men wearing pantyhose was 'gay'. Its different for everyone. But when I dropped that repression and feeling of embarrassment of wearing pantyhose, something else happened too. Something popped through that wall and that was my attraction to men. I was taken aback but slowly embraced it and when I was intimate with other men, I truly felt comfortable. At that point I knew I was gay. I have come out a few times to others and every time its a bit traumatic but I am not looking back. I am looking forward.

 

Ever since I can remember, and thats about from 3 years old......I have always preferred to be around men. I always like men with mustaches and beards (still do).

Well, I never knew there was anything "different" about me. I thought I was like everybody else. Even coming from a red-necked, country, all farmer family, I was treated like me, not a thing....and especially not any different than anyone else.

I was never treated like anybody who was different. I never even knew there WAS a difference until I was 13 years old, and kept hearing about all the "homosexual riots" up in New York City back then.

I kept hearing that word "homosexual".......so I looked it up one day in the dictionary. I thought, hmmm, so I guess thats what I am.

And still, no different treatment from anyone I knew.



I grew up being me. I have always been me. I have never been anybody else, I have never pretended to be anyone else, so I guess thats why I have never had a problem of being who I am.

As I tell people who bring this subject up........

I am ME, I have always been ME, I will always be ME, I have never pretended to be anyone but ME, and if you don't like it.......don't let the door hit you on the way out!

 

Sometimes it take a lot longer for people to come out to themselves. Personally for me i knew something was different when i eleven years old. I didn't know exactly why i was different or what made me different until i was about thirteen.
It took me a few years to even act on my feelings, but when i did it was almost like i finally got a weight lifted off of my shoulders that had been weighing me down for years.

What i would suggest is not only think about it. But realize what makes you happy. If you are happy with women then absolutely be with women. But if you have been struggling with a feeling about men for a while i would almost suggest talking with your current partner and explain how you feel.
I know from experience that it can be a very scary thing to act upon when you first do it. But sometimes people don't actually know until they do act upon those feelings.
There is nothing to be ashamed of or feel disgusted by. You are you regardless of who or what you like.

 

No buddy, i am not looking for holes, just offering you thought provoking questions. Sometimes verbalizing or writing are cathartic.

You are a nice guy. I hope this all works out for you.

In what way is gay porn uncomfortable? I cannot speak for all but for me straight porn is simply uninteresting unless the guy is interesting. Straight porn does not make me uncomfortable.

 

Hi

I do not think of gay bears as dominant. They are more cuddly and well intensioned, kind people who are usually big and hairy.

I was with a guy 16 years and he would not kiss. It was his hold card that he wasn't gay. Ended up it was his denial card.

Talk to the right therapist, that is your best guide.

 

Everything but kiss for 16 years.

He is totally out now after 2 divorces and two kids. Claims he was a coward in hindsight.

 

I've always noticed that I was attracted to men, and when I was very young (like 5 - 7 years old) I didn't even know that some people were attracted to women.
When I learned that you generally like the opposite sex, I expected myself to stop liking men and start liking women, especially the boobs. When I was 15-16 and this wasn't happening, I was getting real suspicious something was wrong, and on 22 February 2014 I admitted to myself that I was gay and that was the end of my denial.

 

first experiences at 15 w/guy friend who was honest with himself and gay. Guys felt safe as I was afraid of girls and pregnancy, but attracted to them, too. Still, guys felt safer so I fooled around with more guy friends than girls - experimenting, questioning, fumbling my way. By 20 I was married to a woman who knew I liked guys too and accepted that about me because bottom line, she's more comfortable with gay guys than straight. Interesting, the unspoken parts of the contract.

 

I knew I was gay when I was 11 and accepted it at 13 and now have slowly started coming out to people.

 

When I was like.. 11 I fully realised it.. I knew before that it just never clicked. Also i've met a girl through a dating site and I absolutely ADORE her. She just confirms my lesbianism She's a total cutie! And she thinks i'm sexy! xx

 

I way gay before I was bi. I discovered boys long before I discovered girls. I learned the hard way that loving other boys was not socially acceptable and was ridiculed all the way through highschool. I married a woman in HS and thank God she accepts my bisexuality. She has really been my rock.

 

hi blues.
i really feel for you as it sounds like you are really struggling to understand yourself.

i may be wrong but i'm not sure u made a fair summary of what people have replied....attraction is not simply about what gets you off or not. sure, for some people it is an early indicator of their preference but thats not always the case. and not everyone has it all figured out.
sexuality really is fluid. its definitley NOT about looking through the box for the right label.
try not to worry so much about the outcome; would it be so bad if you were gay? would it be so bad if you aren't?

xx

 

I came out to myself at 39 yo. I know I'm a women lover but I couldn't define it and put a label for it. In my country being gay is something you don't want to associate with. And I couldn't pictured myself one of them.

 

Skiff is right about seeing a therapist. Usually, people, including us here in EC, tend to give statements and opinions based on their emotions and experiences, not based on their scientific view. That would be absolutely correct if we were all copies of each others. But that's not true. Everyone of us is unique in this whole universe. Everyone has his own genetic map, experiences and memories. Therefore, no two people are the same. No two people think the same and have the same view of life.

The therapist is a person who studies human psychology and hence, he is well educated to guide you. His/her opinions are based on a scientific view, not emotions. It seems that you have some issues which should be addressed. Whether it is a sexuality issue or self-esteem issue, it should be addressed with a specialist. And you will be happy at the end

Good Luck (*hug*)

 

Blues :

I guess that I've always known that I was gay, but I tried to deny it when I stupidly
dated two girls, ( YUCK ). Boy, what was a mistake that was, but the funny part of it
came when we went shopping for clothes, they both said the same thing to me,
" are you sure that you're not gay 'cause you find just the right clothes for several outfits plus accessories and only gay guys know great matching outfits "


Now, I loathe being with women because they either act, or are, really stupid.
I came out of that really dark closet two years ago, and publicly declared that I'm gay,
and have no regrets about it. Forty-six years was way too long in denying that I am gay.


My sexual affair with my male neighbor should have sealed this deal, but stupid me
thought that if I listened to our culture, instead of my heart, I could deny my sexuality.
DON"T DO THIS, IT'S FOOLISH.

Jaymegurl

 

I always knew I liked girls, so I guess around middle school I started being attracted to them.
I didn't really know much about it though. In highschool I met a girl that identified as bisexual which was a new concept to me so I figured since I liked girls that's what I was.
After a few years I re-evaluated things now that I had a better idea of who I was and then identified as lesbian when I turned 18.

 

I had no idea, I was very deep in the closet. I had many hetero relationships, was married, and even though I always felt like something was wrong, and even though I avoided sex with my husband, I stilll did not know. It was only after I developed an intense crush on another female that I began to question....and I was shocked that this was even a possibility. But for me, it seemed once that closet door opened a little crack, the light came in and it didn't take long to realize this is who I am, and that I was very deep inside that closet.