Small Victories

People keep calling me "she" because I grew my hair long and they think I'm a girl without me even telling them! Also, I had a big club meeting the other day where we went around the room saying our names, pronouns, and stuff. I've been going to that club for a few years so everyone knows me pretty well which is why they were so surprised when I came out ;D

 

I came out to pretty much all my peers. I posted a picture to Instagram (with my nonbinary earrings on! I wonder how many people will understand?) and explained. A few people who I'm already out to said I was brave and so did a girl in my class that I wasn't previously out to. I was so scared though! I've been trying to post that picture for about a week but didn't have the guts. .

 

wow cool:icon_bigg

 

My neighbour's friend was walking by as I was walking home with my friend and she asked if I was her boyfriend. Also had my dad post some pictures of me with my brother on Facebook and had a few people ask "who's that guy?" as well as my brother's friends constantly asking him if I'm his brother. So looks like passing is going pretty well for me up until I open my mouth.

 

nice

 

My name is officially, legally changed!! YAY!!!

 

congrats missy.

 

So this isn't exactly small but tonight was our homecoming dance. I decided to go as a girl, with a flower crown headband and dress pants and a lacy tank with a jacket over top (all "girl" clothing. If interested they're in my album once they get moderated.) I went with a bunch of friends and we decided to go out to eat first. Before we left the restaurant, I had to go to the bathroom. Being judgemental on myself, I didn't think I passed enough so I went to the mens room. There was an employee there and he looked me over a couple times with a confused look on his face and then proceeded to redirect me to the women's bathroom across the hall. That was awesome. I passed enough to use the women's bathroom! Yay! Yay yay yay!(!) I wasn't even intending to pass. Then we went to the dance and I was complimented on my outfit many times. I got laughed at a bit too and i know I'll get talked about on monday, but I wasn't going to let them ruin my night so I just moved out of sight of them and kept dancing. I may not have gotten to wear a dress but it was still a FANTASTIC evening. My head is in the clouds.:icon_bigg(!)

 

nice happy for you

 

Got my my first pair of boxer shorts today after being anxious to ask my mother whether I could have some for years.

It's funny how wearing girls underwear can leave you feeling so self conscious and wearing boys undies can instantly cure that even though no one else even sees the change...

 

I know that feeling, opposite direction but yeah I can relate.

 

I bought a pair of fishnets today

 

Congratulations! I'm really happy for you, I'd seen several of your earlier threads concerning your struggles leading up to your homecoming (sorry I couldn't respond, I myself was a bit down) and it's great to hear you had such a great time in the end.

 

This is definitly a "small" victory for me, but at work a customer said "She needs the cart", I'm a Courtesy Clerk(glorified title for a bagger), which made me happy because today was one of my days between shaving, and I wasn't really dressed girly. He did say "or he" after that though, but for some reason it didn't fully ruin the victory for me.

 

Got called "sir" today. Because I'm a manly hunk of beast.

 

Got a great new jacket it makes my shoulders look so huge ^^ Gender euphoria all day. Also tried mascara iron man beard. I will totally have that once I get on T and grow one.

 

I've been working with my voice so I can sing tenor.

I got to sing tenor in a choir concert, and it was great. Through out the rehearsal, the director referred to me and the other tenors as "gentlemen", "guys", and "dudes". It was very validating for me, and it made me so happy that I was dancing on air for the rest of the day.

 

I usually wear tights with a skirt because my legs are hairy and I hate them, but it's too hot and I'm not trying very hard right now so I took them off and just stretched out on the couch, and was hit with a strong wave of gender euphoria.This is the best I've felt since I started questioning my gender and I might be ready to come out to someone soon.