What helped you when trying to figure out if you were gay or not?

I tried to recall various experiences/instances where my behavior was questionable. I just put the pieces together, along with realizing that I was much more interested in em...the male anatomy...than the female anatomy

 

Looking myself in the mirror.
Smile.
And realized how beautiful I am.

 

I was about to say just about the same thing. That, and there was something about the camaraderie of male friends that just seemed more alluring, sexually, when I was growing up. Then it was also punk/hc music, and skater boys...

 

I mean, soooo many things. It's so difficult for me to answer when someone asks me, "When did you know you were gay?" because the answer is, truthfully, that it snuck up on me over a period of time and in a variety of different ways.

It goes in a different order for everyone. Some people know right away that they're not attracted to the opposite sex. For me, I realized I was attracted to the same sex and at first thought maybe I was bi. What helped me realize that I wasn't was looking back on every guy I've ever talked to or dated and realizing that I always found excuses to not be in a relationship with him. To not hook up with him. Etc.

This was really weird but I will always remember it because I think it was a huge defining moment in realizing my sexuality. People are always obsessed with "Oh you don't like the D" and obsessing over the fact that lesbians don't want to have sex with men. Yes, this is obviously true. HOWEVER, what really made me realize I wasn't attracted to men wasn't realizing that I didn't want to have sex with them. I remember, I was lying in bed one night and I thought to myself, could I ever picture a guy lying next to me? Holding me at night? Waking up next to him? And when I immediately thought of how off-putting and not right that seemed... I knew. I didn't want anything to do with men romantically, intimately, or sexually. And I realized that I was only into women in that way.

A lot of the time it's little moments like that where you're like, "Yeah, I don't know how I ever thought I was straight."

 

The being friends with girls you don't know very well and then all of a sudden they start dating some guy and for some reason you feel very angry about him and you don't really know what to do about it. But then when they break up he's an allright guy again.

 

A lot of people are saying Tumblr or some books or internet stuff like that. Honestly that's not how I started questioning my sexuality. Honestly it was when I met this one girl at work. I just...really liked her. Within days she became the only thing on my mind, I wanted her to notice me and like me. It wasn't until a few shifts later I realized that I might feel more for her then I wanted to admit.

I had never considered myself being curious, I always saw myself as straight until I met her. I remember getting really jealous when she mentioned a boyfriend and how jealous I got when she talked and play-flirted with her friends.

To be honest I think it was when I actually had a crush on someone of the same sex as me (and I mean a real crush) that I realized that I might not be as straight as I thought I was. It's just who you happen to fall in love with.

 

Becoming friends with out-gay couples.

 

im not quite sure where it started, ive always noticed some attraction for guys, but it wasnt untill about 10 years ago i noticed me being attraced to guys as much as girls but it wasnt untill a short while ago i noticed a real romantic emotional attraction towards guys, i hadnt really thought much about who i am till recently and accepted who i am. im much happier for it. kind of wish i had figured it out years ago but time only moves so fast.

 

Isolation. After my best friend left the uni we were attending, I didn't go out as much, and I had a lot of time alone. I had time to think about my life, my personality, my past and present, my relations to other people. I think far too many people miss the opportunity to look into themselves and realize who they really are.

 

Brokeback Mountain.

 

What really helped me was just letting things flo and fall into place instead of over worrying about what I was .

 

This site more than anything. Before I found this site I was still fighting it and I rememer joining this site and having my orientation set as Bisexual (which im not). The people and advice on here helped me so much.

Thanks EC

 

they broke up last week...
who know for how long... maybe for forever...
ha haha hHAHAhaha...


seriously tho... arizona was literally the first character i could totally relate to and her relationship with callie was what i wanted someday and it really helped me accept myself and helped me come out to my parents

and shonda and the writers just ruined it ;___;

 

First crush... maybe Jesse McCartney too haha... but those days are long gone...

 

Well...

 

You came from my era. lol. I do remember the skater boys with the sagging pants with the boxers showing. haha. Back when you weren't crap unless you wore the GAP stuff. I had repressed some of that because of all the bullying I went through. So yeah, the mid to late 90's is when my attractions to guys really kicked in around 7th and 8th grades. However, I knew I wasn't gay as I liked girls. I didn't know any bisexual people growing up other than the Hollywood types that got the label out of convenience and because of it being the cool thing to do. It wasn't really until I saw Mike C Manning on Real World (who was Christian) come out to his Christian parents that it became a possibility for me to fully nail down who I was. It then allowed me to see the sliver of light coming through my closet door. I had gotten through college in 2007 and began living on my own in 2009. I realized these feelings aren't going away. I lost my job last year due to health issues and pretty much claimed this year as my "renovation year".

 

The fact that girls are absolutely fantastically sexy, gorgeous and amazing and I couldnt stop looking and crushing on them? :lol:

 

Writing. I knew I was a supporter, so I was going to put an LGBT+ character in my story, but my knowledge on problems they faced, and who they were in general was really lacking, so I did a lot of research, which in turned helped me relaize that yes, I do feel like that, and that i ultimately was.