I don't know if I'm posting this in the right place, just let me know if it isnt and I'll delete it ;3 I'm a top, and I was just curious if being a bottom actually hurt, and if so how much? Also, I mean there must be some pleasure from it for people to carry on doing it, but does the pleasure out weigh the pain that comes with it? Just thought I'd ask, I've been wondering for a while.
It's more likely to hurt if minimal lube is used and the guy doing the topping is an insensitive pig. Bottoming can (and should) be a good and pleasurable sexual experience, not a pain in the arse.
I don't do it very often, so yea there is pain involved. It is usually just on first entry and how much it hurts depends on how thick and how careful the top is. I had a guy who was huge take me balls deep in one go. Two seconds later I was at the headboard telling him we were done. If a top is careful (doesn't matter if is thick, thin or average) there is a small bit of pain as he enters. If you give me a minute or two to get used to you being there before you start thrusting the muscles relax and the pain goes away. This said I actually ran into a guy a couple weeks ago that was so thick he had extreme trouble getting it in and after 45 minutes we gave up. As far as the pleasure outweighing the pain...OH HELL YEAH! I have orgasms that leave me completely light headed and unable to even think straight every time I do it. It is Sooo worth it.
I usually bottom so there is really no pain involved at all, and if I didn't enjoy it, I wouldn't do it - simple as that. If you're primarily a top, there will probably be discomfort at first, but it isn't supposed to hurt, and if it does hurt, you're doing something wrong. Just relax and don't allow your sphincter muscles to tighten. Also, for me, adjusting to someone's girth is more difficult than someone's length, but that problem overcomes itself pretty quickly. The first time I had anal sex, there was mild discomfort upon penetration because I wasn't used to having something of that circumference inside my anus, so I asked him to go out for a few seconds and then go back in, and it was completely painless from thereon in (it's funny how I remember that moment vividly even though it's knocking on 3 years ago or thereabouts). Also, lube. Never go in without lube. And never use oil-based lubes.
Yeah, there's a little pain involved, especially if it's your first time. But if he's gentle, you're both well lubed, and you both communicate/take your time, it's not bad. The key is, you've gotta relax. Gotta let him in, relax the splincter and then once he's in and you're used to him being inside (might need to give a minute), he can increase his thrusting speed. Pleasure for sure outweighs the pain. When I did it, we were both really well lubed. He was pretty thick so there was some pain on entry and while he was thrusting but it wasn't enough to detract from how good it felt.
I bottom almost exclusively when my boyfriend and I have sex. The pain that some have mention is really just moderate discomfort for me, not so much actual pain. My boyfriend is rather large, and although he can always get in, he has to let me "adjust" for a couple minutes before he starts thrusting. He usually spends this time kissing me all over Once I've adjusted to having him in me, he can thrust however fast or deep he would like pretty much. Obviously, you want to use plenty of lube--we use water-based for sex specifically. The key for me is just those first few minutes to adjust. If he's careful, he could do really long and slow and gentle thrusts while you're getting used to him being in you, but like he's in slow motion, he can't just go pounding away as soon as he gets in. And of course the best way to learn to enjoy it is just to keep at it. It took about a handful of times before I was really comfortable doing it and actually enjoying it. But it wasn't really ever painful for me. I can easily see how it could be painful any number of ways that it can be done wrong.
This should be common a priori knowledge. There exist many gay and bisexual men who consent to receptive anal intercourse. It would run counter to the presupposition that those people are basically rational if they consented to doing something that hurt. Since they are rational, and since they consent, it should follow that it doesn't hurt.
As long as you use lots of lube, take it slowly and are relaxed it's not painful. There is NOTHING like the orgasm you get while having someone inside you! Try sitting on someone whilst they're sitting on a chair. T'is good!
As has been said- Lube+lube+lube=pleasure minus pain. Also, maybe start/practice with something smaller (e.g. a finger or 2) beforehand. Especially the first time.
well I lubricate naturally so I don't usually feel any pain. I mean the first time it did. But anal sex usually is pleasurable only like if it's like a size problem. Which only happened once. Other than that for me it was as pleasurable as sex but just a different kind.
I don't know if I have experienced actual pain. I would probably say just a mild discomfort the first time. Actually, my partner was surprised when I told him that he was the first...
I've been using my finger or two, and i still can't handle the pain. it feels like i'm being stretched and i don't really like it. that and sometimes i still feel like i need to poop... i'm not sure for how long until I can take him. I've been using my fingers for a month now
With the proper preparation, it doesn't hurt. PLUS we were all blessed with a prostate. Oh god~(!) (Sorry I'm a weirdo)
How many of us do "Lubricate" anally when we're really aroused? I know that some of us with medical conditions need to wear protection from "butt slime" for want of a better name, Proven in how common this is by- the adverts in women's magazines for "Butterfly" things that are essentially a cottony butt cheek wedge to soak up leaks. Giggling softly to myself about a convo with a friend who said he had been sooo hot to get stuffed by his hubby- they'd not needed any lube the first weeks they were married. And they hope it keeps up so.
I just read a chapter in a book, citing a source that claims 90% of gay men are bottoms. I haven't had time to run down the source, but I suspect it's bogus. Now... that said, I do think that a pretty significant majority of gay men, at least in my unscientific experience, are versatile. And I do know a lot of guys who bottom and absolutely love it. I think a more accurate term for someone who's bottomed more than a few times, is that it is intense, but not painful. It can be extremely pleasurable, and for many gay men, bottoming brings greater pleasure, and more intense orgasm and ejaculation, than topping does. It does require the ability to really relax into it, and that's a challenge for some people. But it's something you can practice, and once you learn how to do it... there's really no discomfort at all, and a lot of pleasure As far as men self-lubricating... I've not heard of much of anyone that's had much success with that. A good lube is your friend