Does my friend think of me as more than a friend?

You can't just tell him that you need to talk to him about something important, tell him it's probably bad, and then not talk to him about it.

Don't push him away because of the battle that's going on inside your head. It's not his fault that you can't muster the courage to talk to him. Tell him. If you two diverge from there (doubtful), then so be it. It'll suck, but at least you'll know. But pushing him away for no reason shouldn't be acceptable.

 

While I do wholeheartedly agree with Tectonic, I think it's good that you've gone as far as to tell him that it is something major you need to say. You are at least building up to it. I did the same thing back in my days of unrequited love (though I were five years younger than I am now).

You are getting somewhere but do not forget what Tectonic said. You can't push him away for something he hasn't done without telling him why.

Be strong ang good luck, I can still see a fluffy, pink light in the end of your tunnel.

 

I hope you can come out to him soon. It takes only a few seconds to say it, and a huge amount of courage, but I'm sure you can do it.

Best of luck! Keep us updated

 

Where do you guys lives? Has any park around? Just take him there and talk about this. And I can see your endurance stronger than you thought.

 

i hate to be blunt, but what in the hell are you waiting for, my god, most of us would kill to have this type of person in our life. he sounds like an adorable person.. i didn't read every single post, but if you haven't already i would STOP being mean to him, WTF dude you trying to push him away?, and why the heck would you deny him a hug? show him affection as it's clear that is what he wants. instead of letting him initiate the hugging/touching why don't you start doing it first for a change? are you waiting for him to just pack his bags and move on? i think he is waiting for you to make a move. at least tell him you're gay if you haven't already. seriously just do it, it's 100% clear that if you told him he would be totally okay with it, and from what i can tell he is either gay or at least bi, i can almost guarantee that. just tell him you think you're developing feelings for him, but you don't want the friendship to change..

 

Yes, to be blunt, you just need to tell him instead of further analyzing all his actions at this point. There's nothing more we could say, other than telling you to find out yourself if you're curious of what could happen. If he has feelings for you, your actions are probably also tormenting him, and telling him would do him good as well. Even if he doesn't share your feelings, like you said, it would be fairer for the friendship that this is out in the open. I'm sure he will take it well either way. You need to muster up some courage!

 

I like the story but to be honest , you seem to be pulling away from all this. I genuinely think that he really has feelings for you. I just really really hate the part where you shut him down when he is very open to you , I pretty much think its a bit a rude. Not a lot of people can stand that behaviour , and your very lucky that he sticks to you. A lot of people including me would wish to have someone like that in your life; so be grateful. I hate to be blunt too but you always tell us you are definitely going to do it yet you always come back and only post about what happened during the day and further analysing all the things that he does to you. Maybe , you should just start off by coming out to him like ' I think im gay /I think I like men something along those lines but make sure he keeps it as a secret. After you tell him that , look closely how he reacts and how he acts around you after that.If he gets more touchy feely or a lot more intimate maybe you dont even have to say you have feelings for him. It will just progress by itself . Just let go of your fears , I know its hard to do it but you have to be mature. He is a great guy and don't lose him . Start acting like you want to keep him, you are very blessed to be a friend of his. If you keep acting like that , its your loss . So , go for it Can't wait for the results.

 

I used to say stuff like this all of the time before I came out of the closet. I'd make jokes about me being gay or say, "would you care if I was gay?" which made it really obvious to the people around me that I was. When it first started nobody thought anything of it but the more I said it the truer it became, so when I did come out my brothers and everyone in my friend group had at least the suspicion that I was. My point is, this kind of thing is behavior I've noticed in myself, a now out of the closet gay man.

Love the thread. It's a great story. Just have a bit of confidence and tell us how the story ends. Sounds like you need some closure. All the best

 

JUST TELL HIM ALREADY!!!!! :bang:

 

He just told you he's gay and in the closet. Do him the same courtesy and tell him the same thing. Straight people don't act like this, he's interested in you and you are in him so why wait? If you think there's a lot of affection back and forth now, when you both get the courage to actually say what you feel, that will increase 100 fold. Life's too short to play games, we're all waiting to hear a happy ending.

 

Then promote a steap ahead on affection-giving. Tell him "I like you more than a friend", without words. I'm sure you want it, and he does as well, from what you said.

From what you have said so far and what happened between you both, I don't think this would be a bad thing to do, at all.

 

I'm not going to go into detail about it, but I said very similar things to a childhood friend of mine last summer when he began to question my sexuality. It's now an entire summer later and we don't really talk that much and he still doesn't know. I still don't know why he all of a sudden acted the way he did and kept pestering me about it, but I never asked him. There are plenty of other threads on this website about friendships that could be potentially questionable in their nature but yours is by far the most obvious that something more than friendship is going on. If it means as much to you as it seems to based on how big of a deal you're making this out to be in your thread, then stop sitting around and do something about it! Like others have said, you're truly lucky to have someone like this in your life and for you to treat him the way you sometimes do and not face the very likely reality of this situation is absurd. If you can't even talk to him about this situation, how are you supposed to handle other potential crushes on guys that you could develop in the future? Chances are--no matter if you like it or not--someone who is in the closet and so forward about his feelings for you won't come around again sometime in the future.

 

if he just told you he's gay, and you were right in the position to FINALLY tell him, why didn't you X__X_X_X_X_XX_X!! Such a perfect scenario. If he's telling you he's gay he's obviously comfortable around you or has feelings for you that he's suppressing because he doesn't feel comfortable. Just get it out and ask him was he being serious about him being gay, and then tell him! No more jokes and laughs, this is serious business

 

heythere999, I just saw your wall post asking me to tell you more about my story! I think hearing from someone else who was in your situation might be helpful to you! I'll try to keep this brief, but I can't make any promises:

I was in love with my best friend for a solid year before anything happened. Whenever a friendship turns to more it's exciting and scary, but I think those feelings are even more heightened in your first same-sex relationship. My crush on her (I'll just call her M to make things easier) was one of the first crushes I'd had on a girl in real life. I was still figuring out my sexuality, so it was really nerve-wracking.

I didn't act the same way with M that I did with my other friends. I was constantly looking for excuses to touch her, making jokes about kissing her/dating her, a lot of the same stuff your friend is doing to you.

This had been going on for a few months before M realized she wasn't straight and came out to me as pansexual. I smiled while I was reading through this thread because I had a similar experience. Even when she came out to me and I came out to her, I was still reluctant to discuss my true feelings with her because I was afraid she didn't feel the same and it would damage our friendship. This went on for months. We held hands in school, we flirted constantly, we said we loved each other on a daily basis. We had teachers at school tell us we were a cute couple, and I still didn't know what was going on.

It wasn't for another couple of months that something actually happened between us. We were at a massive graduation party, and both of us were very, very drunk. We were sitting in a field staring at each other, with our faces very close. M said, "I could kiss you right now." And I said, "Maybe you should". We ended up kissing for a while before pulling away and discussing our actual feelings for each other (I'm not sure if discussing is the right word based on how drunk we were). Afterwards we ran around holding hands and yelling "WE'RE GIRLFRIENDS!!! WE'RE DATING!!" at whoever would listen (we wanted as many people as possible to remember in case we forgot). It's not exactly glamorous or romantic, but anything that lead me to her is perfect to me

I'm not saying that you have to go out and get drunk. But I am saying that you need to let go of you inhibitions a little. Your friend is obviously very interested in you. I think anyone could see that. And you seem to be interested in him too. So what could possibly go wrong? You should start by coming out to him, telling him that you're questioning your sexuality and see where it goes from there. This has been tearing you up for so long, I think you just need to put it out there. You seem to be a really good match, and I'd hate to see you miss out on this by letting it go!! You've found something special with him. Despite the stress you're feeling right now, when it all works out it will be worth it. Good luck with everything!!