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Does my friend think of me as more than a friend?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by heythere999, May 28, 2014.

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  1. heythere999

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    This is gonna be an extremely long post, sorry about that.

    So there's a friend that I met last year and we've recently gotten close the past few months, and especially the past few weeks. I have a feeling that he's legit in love with me, though I'm not sure if it's platonic bromance or if it's more, and other friends have noticed that he always gives me special attention and only does and says really non-straight stuff to me.

    For example, here's what happened just this weekend: he was extremely weird with me. We were playing a video game and the location was rather "romantic" in the sense that it was full of flowers and water and it was nature-y and whatnot, and he said "wow this place is beautiful. (My name) we should go here one day." And he asked me to sit next to him, and when I did, he would scratch his head and then sneakily try to put his arm around my shoulder, multiple times. When I was near him but wasn't sitting directly next to him, he grabbed me and pulled me next to him then put his arms around my shoulder.

    When we were standing next to each other, he randomly held my hands and started dancing with me.

    When a song was on he grabbed my hands and then started grinding on me.

    He would also randomly pull me towards him and hug him for no reason.

    And then around other people he would ask "don't you just love mine and (my name's) relationship?" And one girl joked and asked how long we've been dating and he said "oh like 5 months."
    And then when no one was talking, he said "let's ask each other questions" and he randomly asked me "do you think I'm a good looking guy? I think you're a good looking guy." And one of the guys noted how he thought that was weird of him to randohmly ask that, and so one of the guys asked "are you gay?" He replied by saying "Honestly..." and then he laughed and then changed the subject.

    And then during a convo I said "I'm trying to think of something that's bad about me" and he said "there's absolutely nothing."

    He asked only me out of everyone there to sleep over, and I did. We talked for about an hour until we knocked out, and in the morning, we talked a little more and then when I said something funny and he started giggling, he rolled out of his bed and then rested his legs on mine and hugged me.

    And in general, he'll say stuff like this: "Oh and the sucking my part... That comes later it'll happen one day" which was said when he was leaving the room at a hangout.

    "That sexually aroused "oh"", I like it": what he says after I say "oh" to something

    "Can we sleep next to each other? The room is cold and dark and scary" this was said at a sleepover. He personally came up to me and said this even though there were many other guys around.

    "If there was one guy you could make out with who would it be?" (At this same hangout, which was a sleepover, he looked at me, then jumped on me, noticed a gulp, then he went under my blanket and said "we're sharing the same blanket")

    "If there was one guy in this group you could make out with who would it be?" "Making out with (me) I wonder what that feels like" " (me) would you make out with ___?"
    "Oh yeah that was during my stalking stage"-this was said whenever I said he never saw me with a certain type of haircut and he said he did when he would stalk me on Facebook before he really knew me. Constantly brings up the fact that he thinks it's "trippy" how we became friends after meeting each other last year at some event

    -Says "I love you" to me constantly.

    -Always wants to be around me. The first time we hung out he always followed me around and told me to follow him. Now that we're close he has repeatedly asked to get drunk together, to work out together (not at the gym, but just us two at his house), to join a group he's in, "when we're going to (a certain vacation spot) you're in my car... Whether you like it or not" etc.

    -Always interested in who I'm interested in. "I thought you liked her? What turned you off about her?" Etc.

    -He remembers a lot of random things I've said and he also remembers specific gestures I do and copies a good amount of things I say and do

    -At prom my date said "he seems too comfortable around you and he keeps staring at you this whole time"

    -At hang outs he's around me a lot and stares at me quite a bit and when he goes somewhere he either physically pushes me to get me to come with him or he leaves and expects me to follow him and he turns around to check.
    Just a few days ago, while I was talking to a girl he would constantly turn around and stare and to hide it he would scratch his head and neck.

    -At one late night hang out when it was just me him and another friend we were playing video games and I noticed from the corner of my eye that he was staring at me and then looked at me up and down. He then randomly said "if there's one person I would want to watch getting head it'd be you"

    -Was willing to spend $35 to hang out at some concert. He would repeatedly whisper things in my ear and giggle and he would constantly make lame jokes. One time he tapped me on my shoulder and when I turned around he was staring at me with his eyes closed and lips slightly puckered and did this multiple times and said "I was trying to get you off your phone."
    An interesting comment he made though was that at one point in this hangout he said "I wish you were (a girl he's apparently interested in) right now"

    -When we first became friends I was his background wallpaper at one point. He would also frequently text me for no reason just to have a conversation with me. He'd also talk about me to his parents and he'd ask me if my mom likes him.

    -At one hangout he told me to lie down next to him on the couch and he said "let's make out" twice

    -Held my hand several times. When we first became friends, we were walking to the car and he asked if I could hold his hand and I just said "okay," then in the car he would put his arm around me and rest his head on my shoulder. We sat in the car once and he tapped my leg then grabbed my hand and held it. A few minutes in when our friends in the car pointed out that it was weird he said "this is awkward" and I let go after a few seconds, then he grabbed my hand back and said "sorry I was in the moment".
    At his house we were watching a movie and he told me to sit next to him on the couch and then on 3 separate occasions he grabbed my hand and held it and also stretched his arms and put it around mine.

    -Cares about my opinion a lot. One time I hinted a habit of his bothered me and he completely stopped doing it. Always asks for my opinion.

    -Friends in our group constantly say how it's shocking how we have so many pictures together (I'm very very new)

    -Was always extremely nice to me even though I was extremely cold towards him for a good month or two. To this day, even though we're close 90% of the time I just say (mostly jokingly) rude remarks to him and he still is really nice to me and tries to impress me (when he's playing a game, he tells me to specifically watch, when he's playing basketball he specifically tells me to watch, etc.) and always smiles while we're looking at each other and talking.
    Example one: he made a joke about me in front of others and I told him that he's annoying and then he stoppedd talking, then a few seconds later he said "I'm heading inside ____ come with me" and I walked with him because I felt bad and as we were walking he would look and smile at me and try to make a conversation with me and when we stood next to each other he randomly tried linking arms and then he let go after a few seconds (we were around a lot of people). At this same event he said "I don't care about anyone else here I just care that ____ is here"

    Example two: there was a girl who was "mine" for a day and I made out with her and apparently he tried to kiss her when I wasn't in the room, but he denied it. I got mad at him for it and the next time I saw him was at a party. The whole time he was constantly talking to me and teasing me until he realized I wasn't going to be nice to him and he left me alone. When I was on the dance floor later on, he would stop dancing with girls and he would grind on me and hold my hand and try slow dancing with me even though the music didn't fit, literally the whole time.
    Someone pointed out that we've been dancing the whole time and I said "it's all him" and he responded with "shut up, you enjoy it!"
    And he even pointed out weeks later during a hangout that "if someone lets you touch them if they like it they'll let you continue touching them"

    -At prom, every time he saw me he would come near me and dance with me and while dancing he would hold my hands

    -Touches my face and strokes my beard a lot

    -Sits on my lap occasionally

    -Randomly jumps on me for piggyback rides or for me to carry him

    -Touches me unnecessarily. When we're playing a game instead of telling me to press a button, he controls my hand and presses the button for me. When he giggles a lot after I say something he hugs me and uses me as a head rest. He uses me as a "rest" a lot. Asks me to sit next to him even when I'm already sitting down somewhere else.

    -Hugs me unnecessarily. A lot. A few weeks ago at a party I was talking to a friend who is a girl and he wasn't saying anything and just staring and he randomly says my name and hugs me and says "this is gonna be a long one." Sometimes while we're having a conversation he just hugs me in the middle of it. Sometimes he just looks at me and has the urge to hug me. If I say something that makes him giggle he'll hug me.

    -Lets it slip that he snoops around a little bit. Asks why someone is my best friend on snapchat, knows my twitter bio when he doesn't even have a twitter, etc.

    -Strangely compliments me. Always calls me sexy. Always asks if I think he looks sexy in pictures. If I say "interesting..." to something, he'll say "you're interesting."

    -When I brought a girl over that I was interested in he was ing the entire time, sitting next to me on the couch while we were talking alone and putting his arm around my shoulder.

    And there's probably a bunch of other things I forgot to mention. However, he does flirt with girls and has expressed interest that he wants to double date with me and whatnot, and sometimes encourages me to hook up with certain girls. What do you guys think? Maybe he's bisexual or just weird? Or just really wants a new close best friend?
     
  2. heythere999

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  3. TJ

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    Seems to me like he's interested romantically with you. If not that, he's at least very curious.
    The reason I think this is because of how physical he is. He likes cuddling, he wants to hold your hand, and I think he's probably gay.

    Are you straight? From the bit about 'your girl for a day', I assume you are, but just double checking.
     
  4. joshy the queen

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    i really learned one thing
    if someone is really gay he wont show it so obvious so afraid his friend would be homophobic and would hate him most of us misunderstand straight guys when they just need a little love but not more than a friendship well its bromance but we gays think they are into us
    so i think its more like this just what i think
    you know my best friend who im in love with actually asked me out and told me to be with him but i turned so awkward and he said whatever and after that i think he just thought im not gay or maybe bi like he is he have a gf
    anyway it wont work either way with me
    i think if you dont like him just go along with this whole touching and cuddling its normal for guys even straight its a very close friendship well if it went more than just a cuddle or a little touch i think he might be bi or curious
    just dont make a big deal out of it i know alot of straight guys who cuddle touch and say alot of stuff like that its not a big deal
    btw its the first time i think that way but read all the those stories here most of them about falling for a straight guy because he said or done something like what happened to you so i thought its just some bromance which is so hurting for us if we love that more than a friend
     
  5. Hyaline

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    It sounds to me like your friend has a huge crush on you but might be too scared to say anything. Though admittedly, he is pretty brazen if he has done even half the things you say on that list.

    I'll echo the question the others have asked. How do you feel about him? Are you interested in him or just putting up with a friend who has little use for personal space? If you are interested in him, I would tell him. He has given you plenty of opportunity. if you aren't, I would be honest about that too. He might be hurt over it, but it might get him to cute back on the overt displays of affection. You don't seem to bothered by it from the tone, but you never really commented about how you feel about it all...

    So how do you feel about it?
     
  6. MyTruth2013

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    Hummm, I think he may be into you! But as others stated, the question is do you like him? Do you swing that way? If not thats cool, but, don't make any sudden changes in how you interact with him! Rejection no matter how gentle can hurt!
     
  7. Mane92

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    Quite frankly I think he is in love with you. I say this for the fact that I'd act just like your friend around my crush. The frequent hugs, touches and flirting is a big indication of trying to hangout more with you and be equally treated by you. Well, it depends on how you see him though. are you in any way interested in him?
     
  8. heythere999

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    Not gonna lie, at first I was very weirded out because I've never met anyone this touchy-feely, but I've grown to like the touchy-feely-ness over the past few months. I'm most likely bi.

    What confuses me is that he's really touchy-feely around me, we look each other in the eyes a lot (and for a long amount of time, usually), he sometimes blushes around me, teases me, etc. etc. pretty much everything I've listed, but then when we're hanging out with friends he'll say stuff like "we really need girlfriends" or "We really need side chicks" or he'll say "(my name) you should start talking to (this girl)."

    And yesterday I was with him and slept over, and we slept next to each other in bed and we would unnecessarily touch a lot (legs and arms glued next to each other one moment, then he rests his head on my shoulder another moment, our butts are touching another moment, when we were both awake and in bed he would giggle and then hug me and sleep, etc. etc.), and when some other guys who slept over in another room admitted they had a certain bone pop out, he said "I think I had one too. Did you (my name)?" which is a little strange.

    If anything I'd want to experiment with him.

    I dunno. What do you guys think?
     
  9. confused1234

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    He's totally into you. No question in my mind.
     
  10. MyTruth2013

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    Oh he's definently interested...the same bed and cuddles. Not to mention the "bone" thing! Hell yeah! :thumbsup:
     
  11. WhiteShadows

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    If you want to experiment with him, I think you can do so quite safely.
    Go for it :slight_smile:
     
  12. joshy the queen

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    if you really love him go for it
    but if it didnt work out you might lose him as a friend so think twice
     
  13. heythere999

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    How are you guys so sure? Why would he say stuff like "yeah you should start talking to this girl dude" then?
     
  14. TJ

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    I have plenty of guy friends that I talk to about girls, and about pursuing relationships with them.
    Just because he might be interested in you doesn't mean he won't talk to you about 'guy stuff'.
    Does he know that you're gay?
     
  15. heythere999

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    I'm definitely not gay lol but in terms of me not being straight, nope, no one knows.
     
  16. TJ

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    Ahh okay - I asked about your orientation in my first reply but didn't see a response.
    People assume you're straight until otherwise proven, so I wouldn't put it past him to talk to you about girls.
     
  17. wardrobeescaper

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    After reading your post about your friend. It sounds a bit like the bromance I have with one of my friends but hes a lot shyer than your friend and not as brazen. He thinks labels are overrated and he won't show me affection around most people, its mostly when we are alone. He told me he cares about me and I don't need a partner as in his words "I've got him". But he can't be single and is always in sexual relationships with women. After 4.5 years I've accepted that we both "care about each other" (his words again) but he gets his sex from female partners and I from male. I believe you can love anyone and you don't need to be sexually attracted to do so.
     
  18. SaudadeCoimbra

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    Well you said you liked the "touchy-feely" things that he does, but do you actually consider him as good of a friend as he does you? You never said whether or not you were uncomfortable when he does strange things in public but seriously if it bothers you just tell him to "bugger off". Of course don't be rude about it but you said he's very sensitive to what you say about him so I'm sure he'll stop, at least in public. Are you attracted to him? You said you might be willing to experiment so I suppose that means something. I don't want to sound judgmental, but honestly all the stuff that he does sounds pretty flipping weird. Unless you're perfectly fine with it I would tell him to tone it down a bit, at least in public. Also, him discussing girls with you doesn't necessarily mean he's straight. Idk, you could interrogate him a bit to see what happens, but at the very least we know that he's a bit (maybe more that a bit) obsessive about you. If you're interested then seriously just dive in. There's a flipping lap pool of sexual tension between you two from what I've read. Best of luck and keep us posted! Cheers :wink:
     
    #18 SaudadeCoimbra, Jun 1, 2014
    Last edited: Jun 1, 2014
  19. heythere999

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    Any more opinions?

    The past couple of days I've spent a lot of time with him and yeah... we always stare at each other, tease each other, blush around each other, and this isn't the first time, but he smiled and got really close to my face.

    I was also insulting him and then he said "**** me? Oh okay, what time? I'm free this day at this time" though that's just me grasping for straws I suppose and is nothing big. And I've noticed he's far nicer to me than with everyone else; he tends to defend me and never gets mad at me even though I can be really abrasive.

    And of course the frequent touching still happens, aka putting his arms over my shoulder, playing around/rough-housing, unnecessary hugs, not moving when our legs are touching even though there's plenty of space, etc.
     
  20. Blayde

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    Honestly, I feel like the best option would be to just ask him if he is gay and if he likes you. Although that might seem "too forward" to some people, it's reasonable to do so under the circumstances. Based on his actions, I would assume that he is gay, bisexual, or at least highly questioning. From what it sounds like, the two of you are only going to continue this cycle of what would definitely be considered flirting in most people's minds. As much as you probably don't want to, I feel like the only way to avoid continuing this cycle of getting nowhere in terms of how he really feels about you is to ask him. If not, it seems like he is just going to continue "joking around" with you and never actually being serious when the topic of his sexuality and feelings for you comes up. Whatever you choose to do is up to you and I really don't have a clue how he will react if you're truly serious about it, but I think you should go for it at this point, especially if you feel like you may be developing feelings towards him.
     
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