Bi now, gay later

To add on to this post...

Yes, it's really unfair to bisexuals for those to come out as bi while knowing they truely aren't, but is it necessary to absolutely shit all over us gay/les who long(ed) for that feeling of normalcy, which all of us lgbt have shared at some point? I'm so sorry that it can be tough/pathetic for us stuck at the extreme to accept the fact that we have no 'genuine' way of getting this het privilege that multi's at least have a shot at.

Like I mentioned in my other post, I wasn't one of those who had genuine bi feelings or really labeled myself as such, with my interest in guys finally freed + my lack of interest in girls adding up. However, it literally hit me out of nowhere. Due to heteronorm upbringing and those suppressed feelings I mentioned, it had me fooled into thinking I was straight and, once the feelings were unlocked, although it added up quicker than others, you can bet I still questioned a heck of a lot of stuff. A big part of that was, you bet, to feel normal(even if I knew the truth).

If it helps you sleep at night, I'm (gladly) one of those who'd rather stay closeted for now than to use bisexuality as a stepping stone to being out.

 

I made this post a while back but I figure it fits for this thread.

 

For me, it was more of denial/ignorance that I only liked girls in pornos and so therefore I must have been bi in my 14-year-old mind. That and I had this ideal image in my head of having a wife and children back then that I just couldn't let go of. Eventually that changed dramatically...

 

When a label is necessary, I identify as lesbian because I prefer women to men 9.99 out of 10 times. However, sometimes, every once in a while, I'll be attracted to a man. Granted, those men are particularly feminine, whether in mannerisms or build/looks. I have to add, when I date these men it doesn't ever go well. It made it super confusing, though, because I knew I liked women, but didn't necessarily dislike all men. For a while, I identified as bisexual because I was just plain confused. I don't know, lesbian makes more sense as a label for how I feel.

I, personally, never thought it was weird for someone to come out as bi and then gay later. I guess I was never very well educated on anything of the sort until I started wondering about myself and did research, so it's still odd to me that people doubt bisexuality because of this.

 

Its that individual's call really. But in the process, it is wrong if he hurts others feelings. So, such people have to be careful as to not hurt the feelings of their companions/partners in the process.

 

Some people just prefer to say that because it just seems easier to say then "I am gay and I am only interesting in guys/girls. I don't really think there is anything wrong with it at all.

 

Oh snap! Two people felt attacked by this. Hope it was worth it.

 

If you're genuinely gay, I can see how it would be easier, but for me, I had a harder time coming to terms with my bisexuality, since there's so much negativity surrounding the label and orientation, that choosing just gay or straight seemed like a breeze in comparison.

In fact, I usually let the other person guess or mention bisexuality, first, just to test the waters and see how open they are. There was a member on EC who would comment that the toughest label/orientation to apply to yourself is usually the one that is closest to truth, and for me, there were times I'd much rather have it clear cut in one direction, seeing that I'm closer to the "center" of the scale, so to speak.

 

Its one of my biggest pet peeves it makes bisexuals seem confused

 

I came out as bi and for me I probably will never come out as gay because that's not who I am. I like girls and guys and have had relationships with both. I think that if your comfortable with coming out as bi, then come out as bi and if your comfortable with coming out as gay, then come out as gay. Only people that label themselves as bi, know what they truly are.

 

It's the same reason I hadn't come out as a lesbian to my other friends

 

I am facing that problem because I think I'm more gay than bi and I don't know whether to come out as gay or bi and I feel that my attraction towards female will die; coming out bi is a problem because it falls under that stereotype that bi are confused, but it's all the persons choice.

 

It's why I'm just gonna keep things to myself for now(offline).

 

I thought I was bisexual for the longest time. I thought men were hot. I thought women were hot. I liked the personalities of men and women. I was attracted to both men and women emotionally. This was how I was from the time I was 13 to 22. Then, I began to take care of myself sexually, and I started to feel my attraction to men wane. Yes, I still am emotionally attracted to men sometimes, but I don't want to have relationships with them.
Now I identify as a lesbian. I feel pretty bad to perpetuate the stereotype of the bisexual community, but the alternative is lying about how I feel, and that's much worse.

 

Becuse of people doing that it's made it harder for me to come out as Bi, Most Reactions i've gotten have been like this, "you're just confused" and "You'll pick a side someday", Keep in mind this has came from both Gay and straight people.

 

It annoys me when people beat around the bush and say they're bi when they aren't, but, in the end, is it really such a big deal?
I firmly believe in the Kinsey Scale, and that the majority of people have some capacity to be attracted to both sexes.
Most people here, I'd say, are Kinsey 5-6.

 

I'm currently using the term bisexual. Hell, on Sunday I came out to a close friend as bisexual. (She's really really supportive, by the way. I should've told her first.) Quite honestly, being demi/asexual it's a lot harder to tell if I'm bi or gay. I've been going back and forth in my head for a while, but I always go back to being bisexual. The real problem is a) no sexual attraction, and b) I'm not friends with many guys at my new school and I can assure you, guy or girl, they are not my type. However, I don't have zero interest in guys either, like if I find a nice guy (I think?) I would think about him in the same way I think about girls. (Problem is most guys at my school are assholes so I wouldn't know.) And even for girls I really only think like that about a select few, maybe two or three. And even then it took me a while to realize I liked one of them. So in answer to your question it's very hard to tell. Also, I might go through this my whole life. Sexuality is fluid, right? If I am bisexual, I'll probably be going back and forth for a long long time.

The reason I came out as bisexual and not waited until I was absolutely sure is because at the rate I'm going I'm not going to be absolutely sure in high school at all, and also I just needed to tell someone. But the thing is I didn't want to come out as a questioning, because I'm definitely not questioning. That was a three year phase and I'm done with that. And I'm like 80% sure I'm bisexual. So . . . I've told so few people that at this point it doesn't matter and none of them are going to judge me because 1 is ok with it and honestly I don't care what she thinks right now, 1 is super amazing and I love her to death because she's being so supportive, 1 is gay, and the last one's best friend came out as bi before realizing he was gay.

So there are my two cents, coming from a bisexual just accepting herself.

 

I think I thought of myself as bisexual because I would get turned on by men in gay porn but I still thought like men's bodies where unattractive compared to women but I heard someone on some show say it's normal for women to not be attracted to a men's bodies and still be straight . I did get crushes on guys but not many only about 3 my whole life there were but I liked guys for reasons that I guess wouldn't make sense I thought since this guy was nice to me I guess I like him or this guy is smart and we have stuff in common . But I also liked those 3 guys because they were good looking but for me back then I always had to talk to a guy to feel out what he was like emotionally to see if I liked him or not . With girls I would be attracted to them right off the bat without talking to them or knowing anything about them . I thought that maybe I was demi when it came to guys but at times I would get to know a guy and if they started liking me back I lose interest really fast and it would be like the next day after first becoming boyfriend and I would think what can I do to get rid of him because I felt like I made a mistake and something was missing . As I accepted the fact that I liked girls I started to like guys less and less until even dropped to zero I can't even connect with them romantically or emotionally , I could only see a guy as my friend and nothing more . Girls on the other hand i can see as lovers and friends . Plus I also had a hard time relating to other bisexuals about how they felt and that's when i started questioning myself and now I'm here . But I have to say porn probably was a big factor of why I thought I was bi because I liked guys in porn(I didn't really find them handsome but they turned me on by stuff they did ) but in the real world I had zero attraction to men .