How do YOU deal with crushes on straight people?

Logically, the crush should deflate once you begin to realize how impossible the relationship is. For sexuals, the bond is empowered by sex and if it weren't, people wouldn't be limited by their preferred gender. The culture has this romantic notion that tries to downplay or outright eliminate the importance of sexual compatibility, as if it were as trivial as your partner's favorite color, or if they wore glasses.

The absence of sexual compatibility is one of the most basic relationship killers.

 

Seriously? Attraction isn't logical. It's not up to you who you're attracted to (well apparently it is I guess), nor is it to anyone else.

 

You're a little kid, so I don't expect the attraction you feel to be logical. At your age I was probably the same way, but as I matured, I've been able to appraise looks as something trivial to the relationship. Considering that I am Demisexual, it is up to me to some extent who I am attracted to since I base my feelings on others around their personality.

That said, I can control how I feel about others, and unless there's something likable, and compatible, I don't develop crushes on anyone. Attraction may not be logical, but you can choose who like on an emotional level. All you have to do in order to prevent a crush from blossoming is not indulge in the good feelings about that person, and that'll kill it at the root, but when you continually indulge it, of course you'll get a crush. In my case, since I'm highly sensitive, anything the person does that's nasty can ruin a crush. Although I may get infatuated, to me people are always people, and I don't treat them like gods, so anything they do to raise my umbrage can turn my opinion of them upside down in a heartbeat.

Ana Nicole Smith would be the paradigm of that. I used to think she was the most beautiful woman in the world, and I was jealous of her irresistible smile, her mesmerizing eyes, and her vibrant laugh, all the things men like on the surface of a women.

All that changed when I watched her tv show.

Suddenly, everything was backwards. I was aghast at how horrible of a person she was and that was enough to avert the growing crush I had on her.

 

I agree... suppose some will say it's easier said than done, but I can do it. I might have a mild attraction to someone, but I will only let my guard down and allow myself to fall for them if a) they seem right for me and b) there's some reciprocation. So yeah, romance might be dead, but my sanity is intact, lol.

 

Although I accepted the homosexuality in me I am still kind of repressing it, so when I have a 'crush' on a straight OR a gay guy I just convince myself that I don't have a crush, that they're too hot for me anyway, that they're out of my league, that I have nothing to offer to anyone in a relationship as I don't know about sharing feelings and having sex and stuff that people in relationships do, and that even if I don't want a relationship and I want just sex, I no nothing about sex, sex always makes me feel awkward and every time I try to have sex with someone I screw up and they never call again, so yea

then I get depressed, not because of my crush being straight or anything but because I'm a freaking psycho, forever to be alone,

and then I'm fine and I realize how stupid I was for going through all that depression period just for a guy that I don't need.

 

Looks like I found my forum crush, ahaha.

Seriously though, I like your post because I see a similarity with my situation. Even back before I realized where my true attractions were, I was sort of out of the loop. While everyone started dating and stuff in middle school/high school, I wasn't into that.

Now I feel even more awkward at my age: no kissing, no sexual experimenting, no really 'relationship feeling sharing' <--- as you put it. So pretty much I haven't done anything at all and feel completely directionless anyways.

I guess that helps in a way to hold down crushes in general.

 

I just view it as something that will never happen!
I relish the time spent with those people,
But I don't make it awkward for them and for me by getting emotional about it!

Though I've been lucky in having all my affections returned as of yet! haha

 

I try to forget them, but it's not easy. :icon_sad:

 

I don't really have crushes. There are people who I find attractive and would like to know better, but I don't think I've had painful obsessions, like, ever.
There was an extremely good-looking and drop-dead gorgeous guy at my previous school, I was really fascinated by him. I guess he was straight, though his hair and clothes were to good to not be gay. Mostly I just objectified the guy and admired his wardrobe though, I don't know if that qualifies as having a crush.

 

Well currently my crush is a straight guy, and as much as I can preach advice by saying that I know it could never happen so I accept it, but the truth is I'm still hung up. In saying that I do try my best to convince myself it can never happen. I also take the approach of picking flaws with the person (which can be hard) and just accentuating them until it bothers me and hopefully that repels me. That doesn't usually work though.

 

Quite frankly, I don't. I pretty much go through all the stages. Denial, anger, sorrow. ..someday I'll get to acceptance. This is a good topic. I'm going to make a pkll for this.

 

Yeah, for me it's a double edged sword. On one hand, if I have a crush on a girl, I should be okay but then have to worry if she'll actually see me as a man or she'll reject me because I'm FAAB. With straight men... Yeah. No. Gay men, I even run into similiar problems with the women- genderwise I'm supposed to be fine, but are they going to see a man?

 

Simply put: I don't. Avoidance is my best friend.

 

I get them all the time... and the last one I had took me MONTHS to get over, but I still think hes uber cute. It does hurt a lot though, that you'll never have them.... unless you get amazingly lucky.

 

Yeah, I would like to learn that. I thought we can't control who we are attracted to.

 

Same.

 

I imagine it would be the same way straight people dealt with crushes on LGBTQ individuals. You accept it and move on.

 

well im straight, tho i dont hve crushes at all, used to when i was a teen, but cant say about now, on other hand i wouldnt call it a crush but, i had before stared and said wow this girl looks really pretty, and she was a lesbian, and i couldnt even talk to them cause they were right ahead thinking how i was trying to hit on them, and how men were disgusting and other ways f thinking that left to say ok forget it lol, ps: i really burnt my finger with the cig just now xd