What Are You Thinking?

So it's good to know my brother didn't have that bad cystic sort of acne years back before he used accutane to clear it up. His acne was bad, but not that intense, thankfully. This means that when I get on T, I most likely won't get that cystic stuff, I was kinda concerned about that, but I'd still go on T even if I did get it. Now there might be a chance I get what he had actually had, but hopefully I won't and if I do, I guess I'll just use accutane or whatever if it's persistent over time.

 

I just ate a pulled pork sandwich from a BBQ joint. It was so tasty *_* The sauce had mustard, vinegar, and spices. The cole slaw was the best I've ever had; it's so much tastier than KFC's cole slaw. And this place gives generous portions at a low price.

It's a shame that there weren't many customers. This place is a hidden gem. I'll be a regular here, haha.

 

Somehow that seems fitting... Ah, gotcha and that's true. I hope you'll be able to study it further soon and find it rewarding [though I doubt you won't.]

 

wishing this random stomach ache would go away

 

Great. My grandma just called and left a message and called me birthname (not out to deal her) in the most annoying fashion, and she's asking about my brother cause she's called him and he hasn't called back and he told her he was going into boston (he's fine, he was just checking in and trying to get more time off work after the surgery he's gonna have).

So yay, I get to talk to her and be called birthname, deal with her interrogating me over what I eat and other shit...:dry:

 

Thanks.

 

Why does my mom have to be so dismissing? Even before all this shit happened she was. Grew up feeling I could never go to her for anything because she'd just laugh it off or dismiss me. And yet she claims to be for my best interest... I went up, letting her know I was opening a checking account, was going to ask for my social security but she's just "So? What do you want me to think about that?" Never got the card, never got to open account.

 

It was just as I feared and shit. My grandma called me birthname which made me feel horrible. She interrogated me over when I eat and what; that was fun. She asked about whether I can get a puppy. Not gonna happen. I have way too many cats to take care of. Why is she so obssesed with getting me a damn puppy? oh i now I remember. From the last time she called months ago, she was saying how you have to have a dog for protection and shit (we already have a dog right now, but she's older). Listen here okay? Not everyone needs a dog.

She has a facebook and asked if I had one and why I didn't. Fuck that shit, I don't like it. She wants me to leave a message on her profile (or "site" as she call it) and I told her I can't cause I'm not a member (wouldn't want to even if I was). She still wants me to try anyway.

Asked if I was "depressed" and if I was "lonely." Asked what I did all day and stuff. so annoying, just leave me alone. Oh and she also wants me to call her more and she said that she'd call first. Yay. This seriously can't be happening. i'm gonna have to deal with her more and her shit, and I'm sitting there listening to her and thinking with how she is, how the fuck am I gonna come out to her? And if I do, how's she gonna be? She's gonna be all weird and judging and annoying about it most likely, and act like I don't know my own self and shit.....

 

Today, I rode one of my favorite horses for the last time. He’s being put out to stud tomorrow. As much as he deserves to be retired (This horse has really been through a lot of suffering) I’m going to miss him. I’m happy that I’m the last person to have ever ridden him.
He was a lovely, tall, black, strong horse and although he was scary to some because he tried to bite, he was one of my favorite horses. I’m going to miss him. Hopefully, we’ll get some of the youg’uns he’ll be producing.

I’ll miss you, Zuldjana.

 

Oh I love horses. :love: So what suffering has he been through? And what breed is he?

 

Neither, just won't get period on it, or get pregnant

 

I feel... something. I can't tell what it is. I think it's a bad feeling but I'm not sure. It's like nostalgia but without anything to be nostalgic about.

 

When he was young and his back was still growing, he was ridden. You may or may not know, you shouldn’t ride a horse until he’s about 3-4 years old, or you risk screwing him up, not just in terms of the back, but the rest of the bone structures as well.
Well, he was ridden at about 2 years old, but someone who must’ve been exceptionally heavy. A normal horses back is a light convex shape. Well, due to the excessive weight, as any logical horse would due, he arched his back to counter the person on him. Thus, his back is quite concave. This causes him to have a lot of pain every time he walks and to always be in a foul mood. Not many people could ride him because of their weight (I’m quite light, so I could.) Even so, he saw the osteopath every month and we could only ride him occasionally.
That, coupled with the fact that before he came to our club, he was severely underfed and mistreated. Thus explaining why he likes to bite people.
As to his race, he’s an African race. Tall, thin, quite sinewy.

 

I'm so tired, and it's only 11:35 PM! I can do better... Not...

 

yeah, I know about that. Not riding til mature. Like in horse-racing, I love it, but they race them at such young ages and that's part of why there's so many injuries/breakdowns...

That's awful that they rode him so young, yeah. If they just waited, he woulda been good, but noo, let's be impatient assholes, be mean to him, and not even bother to feed him right. :dry:

Oh but don't you know what his actual breed is? ie Arabian, Thoroughbred, Barb, etc. Based of his description, makes me think of an Akhal-Teke or something. Unless you don't know?

 

I am completely exhausted.

 

The other day I saw two people arguing about religion. One of them said "even the devil can quote scripture to suit his needs" and I wondered, which of them was the devil then? How can one be sure which of the voices is God if they both quote the same book? It reminds me of one of my favorite quotes.
"For those long hours God and Satan fought for my soul. In the end I knew God had won, but one doubt remained in my mind. Which of the twain was God?"

 

Something smells good. Is it meatloaf? I like meatloaf.

 

Okay I'm currently outside a club and they won't let me reenter. =( So what if I puked. I'm not fucking drunk its just that I'm not use to drinking a lot. FFS. >=(

---------- Post added 23rd Nov 2013 at 02:17 AM ----------

And the irritating thing is that they are letting in people who are more tispy than I am.

 

First day of my job. It was surprisingly enjoyable and satisfying. I could have easily gone on all day.