I was pretty much the same way. All my life I've felt an attraction to girls but I thought it was the whole "you're just jealous of the way she looks and you want to be LIKE her, you don't want her" so I just wrote off those feelings. I've always been attracted to guys and for the most part I didn't feel anything was missing from those relationships apart from the usual (reasons why it didn't work out). I don't think I even knew bisexuality existed until the end of high school. I always thought you had to be one or the other. But midway through college I started to really explore my feelings and I finally admitted to myself that my attraction to women was the same kind of attraction I felt towards men, maybe even more so. I gradually began to accept the fact I was bisexual.
Well my story actually raised a question or two...mostly "Why come out?" So I am 34 and bi. I am also married in a hetero relationship. It's always funny to say it because frankly I think I knew that I like boys when I was a boy. I always had the feelings and I've always been a femme guy which is weird because I am 6'4 and a bigger guy so frankly I get a lot of crap for it. But it turns out that's who I am. So to answer "why bother coming out," well it's because I needed to be the authentic me and like it or not, that is the authentic me. It's funny but admitting who I was and telling others changed nothing about me and that's the best I could have hoped for. To me that means that being out and being me was authentic. I was just saying "this is who I am" Foxface
Much like others I didn't realise I was bisexual well until I was in highschool. I think this is because the heterosexual part hides the homosexual part even to yourself, after all you do like girls. I think the instant where the question popped into my mind was after I finished watching 40 min of gay porn and I started to consider that maybe it wasn't normal for a straight guy to be that much into gay porn after all.
My earliest crushes were on girls, but I've always been curious about my male peers' bodies. The middle school locker room certainly intensified that. I realized probably around 14 that I was bi, but it seemed like this abstract far-off reality. As I got older, my attraction toward males increased. My freshman and sophomore years of college I dated a girl, and she was the first person I told I was bi. I was terrified and worried she wouldn't love me or think I wasn't into her. What she told me was that she had no issue with me being bi, but she had an issue with how much I hated myself for being bi. We broke up but remained very, very close friends. I haven't been in a relationship since--partly because I needed to work on feeling better about myself, partly because I'm still pretty anxious in dating situations, and partly because with work and school I haven't had time. Only recently, after becoming more confident in myself and getting rid of a lot of the internalized homophobia I'd built up over the years, have I really started to accept that being bi is a part of me that is real and isn't going away but isn't the thing that everyone is going to use to define me. That's why I've come out to a few people over the last couple months: keeping my sexual orientation bottled up inside now feels worse for me than having a few people I trust know about it.
At times I can't help but think it would be easier to be just into girls or just into boys than liking both. I wondered what I liked and if I was just confused until I realised that I didn't have to choose one over the other.
I always liked guys, no doubt about it. Then despite my slight fascination with the female sex I never considered I might be bi until I was 15. This developed as I went through my last year of secondary, and the past year and a half I realised I was attracted to girls as well as guys (one of my biggest issues questioning my sexuality was that I had never been obviously attracted to girls until mid-teens - so was I just bicurious?). It was when I was 17 that I really knew I might be bisexual though. After discovering this site I realised my true orientation after a little help, and I came out a couple weeks ago to my parents as bisexual (though still questioning to what extent). Nearly 18 now, and in the last year of college I'm looking forward to uni and meeting lots of lovely ladies and gents!
I always assume that i like boys when I was a kid then in my late teenage years, I develop liking girls. Now, i'm either way. I guess as you grow old, your preference and outlook can change.
I was able to see guys, specifically one, as cute/adorable way back in elementary school. I was so obsessed with how cute he was and his little cheeks! In middle school more feelings surfaced, but it wasn't until high school that the feelings were really strong. I had my first female crush that I can remember in kindergarten, so it was obvious to me early on that I liked women. I can't say that I've quite had a crush on a guy, at least not like I get with women, but there was definitely one in college I thought about.
Don't worry about not always having known, a lot of people believe that sexuality is fluid and even that it's individual to each person. Plus I think socialisation into society's norms can block our true feelings, that's my experience anyway. Like you, I had been in the straight 'role' society had socialised me into. I was a little attracted to girls too, but had read that it was 'normal' for straight girls to fantasize about women so I kinda ignored it. Since I started coming out as bi this year, I am becoming more and more attracted to women, even more so than I was ever attracted to men - it's like I've bashed down a mental barrier and opened the floodgates. For me, the main barrier to me realising my sexuality was that the label of 'bisexual' had certain negative meanings for me (from society) so I couldn't reconcile the idea of myself being a part of those meanings. Then one day I just realised - it doesn't matter if I like the label or not, I like men and women, therefore I'm bi.
I realized it when calling myself straight or gay were both confining. Saying I'm one or the other brings up a long list of exceptions that point out otherwise. I couldn't be a perfect 0 or 6 if I tried, and I have no clue how it must feel to be like that. Still, I often wished I could; it would make life so much simpler.
Well, like others have said. Since i was young I never thought about the possibility of liking girls. I just grew up talking about boys with my friends, except I didn't participate as much as my friends. Every now and then a guy would come by that would interest me and catch my eye. However, I also felt for some girls too. I would put this off as just admiring them a lot. So...now that I'm questioning my sexuality, i wouldn't say I am only attracted to one sex, but actually both. So I guess that means I am bi-curious or something, but I don't like labels really. What do you call it when you are attracted to someones personality/character/sole/etc.?I think that is me.
That's the best way to be I think, far more important than gender or looks! I know you don't like labels but if you don't know, some people who are attracted to the person rather than the gender identify as 'pansexual'
It was actually after my friends started to wonder if I was a lesbian. I would make comments to them about girls' legs, the way they did about guys (like, "oh, that is a great butt"), and then one day I announced, "You know what? I really like legs. Girl legs, guy legs, doesn't matter. I'm attracted to really nice legs." Apparently that wasn't really a heterosexual thing to say. I also had a dream once that I was marrying a girl and she was going to carry our child, but I told all my friends that it was someone else (that instead of me in a relationship with a girl it was some third person) because I thought it was just a fluke, that I was straight but I just happened to have a gay dream. At first I doubted it; see, I've liked three guys before (I'm a girl) and since I haven't yet had a crush on a girl, I didn't want to jump out of the closet and then realize I was actually straight. But this feels like me. I can see myself with a girl. I can see myself falling in love with one, and I think someday I will. Whatever happens, I definitely, definitely know I'm not straight.
I was like you Split Arrow.. I just assumed I was straight as I did like guys and any girls I thought was cute or pretty was just what I considered admiration and appreciation.. It wasn't till I found myself falling for someone of the same gender that I realized fully what it meant even though I had previously been watching F/F porn and fantasizing about being with a woman.. I never considered myself to be bisexual or even bi-curious toll I fell for my ex girlfriend.. I kinda bypassed the stage of being bi-curious without ever realizing it and went straight to thinking I could be bisexual.
Well, I remember being girl crazy in 1st and 2nd grade. I would chase them around at recess and even "married" one in 2nd grade. I kind of like her all the way to 5th grade even though she wasn't my gf. I've never had a girlfriend before really. Then she broke the news that she was into a guy in our class. 5th grade was the turning point for me, even though I was in such denial. I remember seeing one of the swim instructors strip and being enthralled with his pubic hair. My friend dared me to lay on top of him as he pretended to be a girl at my 5th grade b-day party sleepover. I did and liked it. We had a friend with benefits relationship really from 6th grade to my senior year and did everything except kiss and cuddle ironically. Coming from Christian homes as we both were, that was considered too "gay". My attractions to other guys continued through jr. high and high school. This one hot guy with blue eyes and dark hair was skinny yet athletic. He hung sideaways off the monkey bars in 7th grade. I could see his testicles because he turned just the right way in my direction and thought for nights about what his penis must look like. During that time, I was really into a blonde girl at our school. She sat in front of me one day in class and was wearing a white sheer thong under her loose jeans. I couldn't focus the whole class. There was another girl senior year that I liked emotionally, yet not physically. She stood up for me when I was bullied. I was called "gay", but I don't think it was about sexuality. It was about pecking order. In college, I was attracted to two of my female friends, but they both had a lot of quirks. There was another girl I knew who I am still FB friends with who is a really hot blonde that I wouldn't mind dating who I'll call "Rachel". But in college, I kind of switched to mostly liking gay porn as I got a little more comfortable with myself. There were 3 guys I was thinking about during college, yes all blondes again. One was on the soccer team, and I got to see him with just a towel on when I was in his roommate's dorm. It was sooo hard not to stare, what a chest. Then, I was friends with this sort of a geeky guy, but he had a really young looking face and wore tight jeans to match his tight butt. He was a junior in the business program(class below me), but we ended up having other classes together too. He randomly winked at me in class because I think he knew I was checking him out. He had a gf though, so I didn't pursue anything. Honestly, it wasn't until I thought about him many many nights my senior year of college that I could finally say that this wasn't a phase. I think it was because we could make each other laugh, and there was an emotional connection. So, sorry to be long-winded, but it seems like I keep shifting more and more to guys. I tried to get back in touch with my fwb, but he is flaky. I am definitely more into guys right now, but "Rachel" would be just fine too. She was talking the other day about how she was wearing capri yoga pants walking, and I nearly died. LOL.
I knew all along, since I was a kid, but since once I was caught with a girl and frown upon and then in school I was bullied to out me and mock me, I tried very hard to not accept it myself, I would deny it if asked. (Obviously they'd ask if I was a lesbian, not a bisexual, their sexual knowledge is very poor, once in high school I had to explain to my classmates that a bisexual and a hermaphrodite are not the same). Slowly I'd admitted that I've been bisexual all along, and it saddens me that I hadn't admit it a lot earlier.
I'm still not 100% sure, but it seems that I am. It was clear to me that I liked males from a really young age. I remember humping my friend when I was 3 and massively enjoying it.:lol: No one told me about this but I was scared we would get caught. I had huge crushes on actors, friends and already knew back then that I was really attracted to males in every way possible. I remember watching a movie with my parents, I'm not quite sure which it was now, but anyway, they were always showing the girls as eyecandy for men, I was so annoyed and literally thought "My god, why do they keep showing this stupid girl, they could show the hot guys like this insted!":lol: I remember I wanted to ask my mom to show me a picture of a naked man. At the same time I had a book where a woman in a shower was depicted and I found it strangly arousing. I remember thinking "Wait, I only like boys this way, do I?" Many intense crushes on men followed, I haven't experienced something similar for a woman yet. But a lot of things from my childhood make sense now. I still have a hard time accepting that I'm bi, because I always heard negative things about bisexuals and our biology teacher told us in 6th grade that there was no such thing. Joinig this forum has helped me immensly.
I never really liked boys, or girls much until I was about 13 (most started around 9) where there were already rumors about being gay. I convinced myself that I was straight and that liking girls was just a phase until earlier this year....You know girls are always comparing bodies and being very positive about each others assets (at least to their faces)- I thought it was just that, but then I realised it was more....deep routed than being jealous of another girls figure, lol.
So I have started to realize that I might be bi within the last few weeks When I think back on it I guess I did like girls but didn't realize it. I focused mainly on boys because I didn't know that liking girls was a thing. I always thought girls were really pretty but I thought it was a normal adoration of the female body mixed with slight jealousy. But that definitely isn't the case. Fast forward to sophomore year, about 6 months ago, I'm at a hang out/birthday party with some friends and there's a girl there that I had talked to some and I knew she was pansexual. So there's tons of couples there and her and I were single so we ended up hanging out. There were a few times where she had me sit on her lap and I was like okay that's cool whatever, but she started really flirting with me and I liked it and loved sitting on her lap and having her arms around me and there were even a few times where I experienced sexual attraction. That was all that came of that because I was "straight" and obviously didn't want to date her. There was a week or so where I thought I might be bi and have a crush on her, but after talking to some friends I convinced myself I was just curious and that it was nothing. Less than a month later I rushed into a relationship with a guy I didn't know that well and after getting a crush on a different guy I figured it would be best to break up with him. Things didn't work out with that other guy at all so I was left slightly heartbroken. Fast forward to a few weeks ago I started thinking about girls again out of nowhere. I even had this dream where that guy that left me heartbroke" was there with his gf that he had just broken up with. I was walking with her and talking and he was off somewhere else, so we leaned in to kiss and he got all mad at us so I slapped him in the face and kissed her. Now I think I have a slight crush on a girl in my history class, I've never talked to her, but she's so nice and I want to kiss her and I think about dating her a lot. Honestly I still have no idea if I'm bi or not, any advice or thought? Not trying to hijack the post seriously, I'm new to this and would like some insight and was also hoping this would contribute positively to the original thread.
