Dating a transperson

Yes but trans women only. Since I'm a lesbian Trans guys are out (even pre T), I could not date a FAAB genderqueer either since I would not be able to love someone I could not appreciate, admire and love as female even if they retain their FAAB body.

 

So anyone who wouldn't at least consider it is a bigot? Think before you speak, my friend. Everyone is entitled to an opinion...and as long as they're not screaming profanities and slurs about it, I don't see where this would make anyone a bigot? Personal preference.

For me, while I admire the strength someone has to have to go through figuring this out about themselves, and doing something about it, I would not. But I would be the best BFF ever!

 

Yes, I would.

When I thought I was lesbian I was open to dating people who didn't have male gender, male-leaning gender, or MAAB pre-op. Whether they would've felt I was appreciative/accepting of their gender is a different story, but I was never in a relationship with a trans* person.

 

Hm, mixed variety.
I was expecting about a 50/50 split .

I don't really understand bisexuals here who are saying they'd refuse, and only date a cis-gendered person, though.

 

i'd say if yr totally against the idea of even considering ever being w/ a transperson then there's probably some latent transphobia in there somewhere

i mean, i can understand having a preference for cispeople - that's totally fine - but to just decide that an entire group of people is not worth even considering is kind of fucked up

& if yr gonna dismiss them once they're post-op & you can't tell the difference then yr a transphobe from where i'm sitting

 

I would have no problem dating a trans* person. It doesn't matter to me which gender or genitalia they are/have.

I identify as both bisexual and pansexual but I'm going to mark pansexual in the poll

 

I am going to say yes, but only for transwomen, saying that I am a Lesbian and not attracted to men. I might also consider dating someone who is non-binary gender, but I'd probably prefer someone who was more feminine looking.

 

I'm kind of confused by this. Are you saying all transgendered people are unstable? I mean yeah we have our good days and our bad, but doesn't everyone?
Personally I think I'm a pretty stable, laid back, outgoing person. There are just days where I get consumed by dysphoria, but even on those days it doesn't change who I am, nor do I try to pull people down with me. I usually just try to hide it so know one worries about me; but thats just how I am.

 

I honestly don't know.
I mean...I'm currently at a stage where I prefer men, so if a guy asked me out...I don't think it would matter, but...I just don't know.
:confused2:

 

I would date a transwoman, it would depend on how open they were though. Like in the closet would be hard, but guess we were all at that stage once so i would prob still give it a go. And im only 17, so preferring her to be a little younger than me there would be a good chance she would be closeted.
And she would have to be smaller than me,no offence but i couldnt do with my girl being taller than me. Im only 5'8 and all the transwomen ive came accros have been taller than me so that might be a problem.
Bedroom isssues would also have to be discussed, since we would both be uncomfortable in certian situations i would want to address that first. Cause to be quite honest sex is quite important to me.
Wow maybe im too picky.

 

Oh yeah, of course, I have no problem explaining further

I guess this is sort of a delicate subject and I'm trying to figure out how to say it because I don't want to sound like an asshole (though I'm aware it might end up coming off that like that no matter what). I've never known any trans people personally, so perhaps if I did get to know someone who identified that way, I could be proven totally wrong. As I said, I'll never say never. Right now though, I just know that I wouldn't be 100% comfortable with being in a relationship with someone who is a different gender than what they were born. Ugh, I knew it, this is going to sound bad but I really don't mean it to In a nutshell, it's a personal issue I think I'd have to work out, does that make sense? I've watched a couple of great documentaries about trans people going through the transition and I guess, to be completely honest, it's awkward for me to see a woman who has broad shoulders and remnants of the deeper voice still. It's not quite as noticeable a change with FtM, and I don't know why. Again, this is just the way I view it. I totally applaud and support their personal journeys and I think it's wonderful that we live in a time where people can live the most authentic lives possible. I just don't think I could date a trans person.

On another note...

I don't know why people are confused about bisexuals who are only attracted to cisgendered people. Do you question straight people who are only attracted to cisgendered members of the opposite sex? What about lesbians and gay men who are only attracted to cisgendered members of the same sex? I don't think you would. So, why would you question a bisexual's preferences? Is it just because we are attracted to both men and women that you assume we can be attracted to women who identify as men or men who identify as women? That makes no sense to me. I am attracted to women who are anatomically female and identify as female gendered and men who are anatomically male and identify as male gendered. What's not to understand about that?

 

I marked the closest match.

 

I think you're right about the bold. We all have to overcome the cissexism we are taught to have. Thinking of trans* people as weird and unnatural and unattractive and such.

Because monosexuals might not be sexually fulfilled with a pre-op trans man or woman. But bisexuals could be. What's not to understand about that is your explanation for only being attracted to cis men and women is that trans* people are 'awkward'. Wouldn't you be mad if someone didn't want to date you because they thought bisexuals were 'awkward'?

I did see a trans man say once that he didn't want to date a bisexual (mind you he identified as bisexual himself) because he didn't want them to think they were getting the best of both worlds. He wanted his partner to wish that he had male genitalia as much as he did.

I also saw a bisexual say they were attracted to masculine men and feminine women only and thus they did not date people of nonbinary gender. But thinking it's a weird thing you don't want to deal with (as I have already seen someone else in this thread do) is not a good reason not to date genderqueers.

 

I am definitely not bisexual personally. Though I have heard from many that they tend to have enitrely different and specific tastes in each gender. I have known some to like masculine men and feminine women, feminine men and feminine women, masculine women and masculine men, masculine women and feminine men. Shorter men and taller women, taller men and taller women, etc, etc.

So I believe that there are bisexuals who are open to everything, and some that essentially have seperate specific straight and gay attractions that never seem to cross over.

I hope that made sense......

 

I am bi and I would

 

Capitals, punctuation, and actually writing out words would go a long way in making your point clearer; I had to read this three times to get it.

Now...as for your point...I can see what you're saying, and it certainly settles better than being called a bigot. That's just overly harsh and untrue. However, I guess my view is "to each their own." I would bet money that there is a certain type of person- whether it be in gender, physical appearance, personality...whatever...that you wouldn't date simply because they're not your type. NO ONE would date everyone. It just doesn't work like that. For me, a trans woman isn't my type. That's not to say I think she's a horrible person, or anything of the sort; I just couldn't date her. I'm allowed to hold that opinion and not be called a transphobe or bigot for it. Much like you're allowed to decide not to date whoever and not be called names for it. I realize you're young...but, really, one lesson to learn soon is that everyone is entitled to an opinion, and it doesn't have to jive with yours, and you have to be okay with that.

 

this is a really interesting and sensitive topic. i voted "other" because 1) i have no experience dating a trans person so i couldn't say whether or not it would work out, and 2) i do feel that ultimately it depends on compatibility regardless of gender EVEN THOUGH i consider myself homosexual. i consider my own physical gender to be of little importance, meaning that if i were male i'd be attracted to other men and since i'm female i'm attracted to other women. the dice were rolled and i was born female. to balance out my own gender issues, i'd say at least 97% of the time i imagine myself as male. i'm cool with my female physique, but i like to imagine that i'm a man. if i could meet another woman who felt similiarly as i do, that we *could* be men but have no intention of undergoing surgery to become physically male, i would LOVE that. and as for mtf, as i said i've never dated anyone like that so i couldn't say it wouldn't work, but if that were the case i can't imagine it would work unless they were post-op. i don't mean to sound mean, i'm just being honest.

 

No i wouldnt.I dont have anything against them i make that clear

 

There can be some unique challenges to dating someone who has intense gender dysphoria. I did it for a while. It was hard. But I think it made me a lot more aware of consent issues and a lot more respectful of boundaries.