Hardest You've Ever Cried?

When my dog died about a month ago. I know a lot of people say that a pets death isn't a major death but for me it was. He wasn't just a pet for me or anyone in my family. I had grown up with him, I was only 3 years older than him when we got him, he hadthe cutest brown eyes you could imagine, and about 3 months ago he got really sick. We did all we could to help him get better but in the end we knew he wasn't gonna pull through. I held him minutes before he died and I swear I could tell from looking at his eyes that he was saying goodbye. I know it sounds mushy but I'm never gonna forget that dog, he was amazing. So yeah... When he died I cried my eyes out for the entire week

 

when a guy i cared about really much as a close friend who told me over and over he was Christian and quoted Bible to me and told me to pray to God ...came out to me as ...really more Buddist now.

I bawled all night.

 

The night I ran away from home, two years ago.

I drove as far away as I could, until about three o'clock in the morning, and I didn't show any emotion that whole time. Then I rented a motel room, curled up on top of the blankets in my clothes, broke down, and cried myself to sleep.

 

When this guy I really liked only wanted to have sex with me that killed me inside

 

Quite a few months ago. ;^;
I was watched 'The Boy In Striped Pyjamas'. The end was so heart-breaking I couldn't take it. I cried for about twenty minutes or so.
It was about the same level when I was talking over the rough past (and present) about my mother that I don't necessarily like, (I feel as though I hate her, but I crave for her attention and nurturing). I cried pretty bad, I was talking to my father about her.

So.. Yup.

 

Over 4 years ago I lost my beloved dog that had been with me for 13 years - since I was 5. Man, that bitch was fierce! My whole family grieved for her like mad people and you know, sometimes we still do. Don't ever let anyone tell you that you don't have the right to cry, especially when you lose a precious friend. (&&&)

 

There are two moments for me. First is the day I realized my best friend was going to die from leukemia. It was in 2002, and I was in a train between Lyon and my home town. It suddenly struck me that my best friend was dying and that there would be no escape from this. I think I cried for the 3h of travel.
And the second one was when my beloved grand-father died last year. He was the best man in the world and losing him from this terrible agony was devastating.

 

Twice. The first time was when my grandmother (who basicly looked after me for quite a while during my childhood) died. The second time was when that insane ex-girlfriend of mine dumped me. I was so devastated that I couldn't even stand,talk,walk or eat. Now I thank her for that - this made me question myself whether I actually like rainbows or not.

 

BUMP.
my nan past away in 2012 took that quite bad me and mum cried for days .

A few times I felt I couldn't cope with being gay .

 

My Aunt passed away a day after my fifteenth birthday, I don't like crying but I couldn't hold it in. It was the most shocking and painful experience and I don't want to be so unprepared again.

 

When I was depressed for sure (or just before I became depressed because that was more like a 2 year numbness). After my dad and stepmum split up when I was younger and then my dad met another woman and basically moved into hers. I was constantly in the house on my own so became ridiculously lonely. Basically felt like my whole world had ended. Taught me not to trust anyone ever again that;s for sure (at least I learnt that lesson young haha)

 

When my Mum and Sister died. I cannot describe how painful it was to lose them at such a young age. It hollowed out a part of me and left an emptiness in my life that never has and never will be filled. Two very special ladies who meant the world to me.

 

When my ex boyfriend dumped me, I cried like 7 months in a row, every single day in the first 3

 

A few years ago, when I was coming to terms with my sexuality, there was one night where I started to cry a lot. My mom saw my red eyes and asked what was wrong. I made some BS excuse at the time to keep peace in the household.

I try to not inconvenience those around me. Doing so hurts me on the inside, but I just deal with it.

 

The hardest I ever cried was when I was in the hospital after having an emergency appendectomy. It was after the surgery and they wanted to moniter me overnight. At this point I had not had anything to eat in over 48 hours (by that time I was hungry but they wouldnt let me eat anything). Then they wanted to draw some blood. Needles are my worst phobia, so bad to the point that I have threatend the lives of nurses. I started panicking. Crying, yelling and screaming with my face in my pillow. I was so loud that the nurses said they could hear me down the hall. Finally after a couple of attempts they were having trouble getting the blood. They could tell that I was in a lot of agony and fear and said " You know Mr.______ you can always refuse...." and before they can finish their sentence I yelled at the top of my lungs " I F*CKING REFUSE!". They looked at me and slowly walked away.

 

When my Mom died. I called her and I knew she would not be able to make it through the night and I started crying, and an hour later I got the call and screamed, and I shook, screamed, and balled for an hour straight. I had to use my inhaler I was crying so hard.

 

I know it doesn't sound like a big deal, and I feel kind of bad for saying it, but I had a cat named Sally that I found in running out of the woods near my house; when she died I cried the hardest I've ever cried in my life. She died back in 2008 of a blood clot in her back legs. I've had relatives pass away, and I cried, but not as hard as this. She was always there when my parents were fighting, even when my relatives weren't. They wouldn't understand how I felt but I always felt like she did. She always knew when I was upset and would just sit there with me.

God, I miss her so much.

 

A few days after my dad had passed away - after the initial shock, and milder tears had passed - I was alone at home again, and for quite some time, sobbed loudly and uncontrollably like a wailing, inconsolable infant. It was actually physically painful, yet felt like it 'needed' to happen, like it was a kind of 'release'. Even so, I still remember it as the most painful cry I've ever had. It wasn't fun.

 

If I'm remembering correctly, it was awhile ago, like one or two years ago. It was after I went grocery shopping with my grandmother, when we were driving back home. I think we got into an argument and she said some extremely hurtful things. I can't remember what it was she said. Maybe she called me "special" or "stupid", I really can't be sure but it offended me so badly that as soon as the car got in the driveway, I ran out and started banging on the front door.

I didn't have a key and I certainly didn't want to wait for her to open the door, much less spend anymore time around that wretched creature. My mother ended up opening the door. I think I broke down and told her what her mother told me. I remember running up the stairs to cry in the bathroom. My mother confronted her mother and the two got into an argument, with her mother insisting that I had lied. (etc.) My mother ended up having to comfort me.

Then again, I remember there was another time when I cried very badly. It was the week before my 18th birthday and I somehow got into a fight with my mother over the fact that I wasn't a Christian. I can't even remember how the argument started, much less how it ended. It has become very blurry in my mind. I do know that she was screaming at me about how I was going to hell. I cried so hard. I called her mom for help and all I got was some unsupportive shit about how I wasn't doing the best job at being a Christian, that I needed to try harder at strengthening my relationship with God (etc.)

There was no sympathy period. I was very upset about this for a period of time, yet for them, they acted as if what happened never happened or that it ceased being an issue. Very strange.

 

Has to be when I was genuinely afraid my parents. Especially my mother. She hit my dad, broke my shelves, shredded her umbrella into pieces...... All I could do was run outside crying my eyes out. I'm getting flashbacks of it as I write this, tears in my eyes, cause it only happened six months ago(and it's also fucking 3am). I sometimes wonder what have i done to deserve this hell. It's not the worst that could happen, no, but that was a)my mother's second divorce(she hasn't been single since she was 16 for fuck's sake!!) and b) the time I made my worst mistake so far. Oh well. Family's the worst.