Would you even consider dating someone who was HIV positive?

Yes, when you are ignorant of a subject that is a scary subject. My first question to you is why? In 2013 you should know the facts. Being as you don't not makes you at risk of catching it unless you never have contact with a transmission source, ie sex, needles, transfusions, etc. And I hate to bust your bubble but hiv is less scary to me than some of the super buggs out there. Shch as medicine resistant strands of Syfallis, Ghaunarea I am sure I mispelled thoes. Syfallis is way easier to catch and the uncurable strand kills you dead where as hiv can linger 30 years with treatment. So if I were you I would learn about STD's and remember most will never admit it to you and the ones who do at least you know you are dealing with a honest person and always protect yourself! Good Luck! June

---------- Post added 27th Jan 2013 at 12:22 PM ----------

I find seeing you guys on here not knowing the facts about std's. If you used a condom for intercorse and kissed than you are safe. If he went down on you without a condom you are still safe. YOU DO NOT CATCH HIV KISSING!
You can catch a cold, or Mono kissing! LOL! June

 

to be honest, if there was love, then HIV or not wouldnt matter. obviously i'd prefer a guy who was 'clean', but then there is the thing, you cant choose who you fall in love with! any relationship for me at this stage of my life would have to be inclusive of a HIV test, 'before' sex for him AND me! i dont believe in casual sex any more, been there, done that, and was extremely lucky that i didnt pick anything up along the way. but condoms and good hygene and,well common sense is the way to go i think.

 

Here is a rule of thumb to go by on things like this right? Don't get into something you don't know anything about and be prepared with knowledge on all subjects in the lgtb community cause this is serious stuff. I seriously don't understand why can't the domestic to international governments create a database of infected people in a system like child abusers or rapist, etc to be put online that would be prevent some worries there. Seriously why don't homosexuals or others predisposed to stds just get tested before having sex or any open sore contact? Fear of knowing that you might be with a cheater or irresponsible person or what?

I take this subject very very personally cause I had unprotected sex with a man once. He gave me oral sex and I was paranoid after tht cause of asking him "do you have stds?" He didn't take me seriously even when I said that I'd get tested and he should but guess what? The kicker is that he never got tested and I did and I'm not infected. So, don't think that you can force anybody to my knowledge to get tested, so always act like they have HIV+ or AIDS even. I don't care the answer for me would be unreservedly and unequivacly HELL NO under any and all circumstances just not my problem man. By the way, its nott that I don't love them just that I love my life more is all I'm saying tht is life about surival nothing more or less. Probably more of a religious question though in my mind cause I'm an atheist not a religious or superstitious person just sayin.

 

It is the recommendation of health professionals that you treat all partners as if they are potentially HIV positive.

Creating a database of people with HIV, like they have for sex offenders, would not be appropriate, as people's medical information is private and people with HIV are not criminals.

It is extremely unlikely that you would contract HIV from having oral sex performed on you. The risk associated with oral sex (already substantially lower than anal sex) mostly goes the other way.

 

I don't think it matters cause its still a public health issue that can be prevented. The suppose professionals don't hardly agree on anything or have any consensus of prevention that much anyways. Yes, you assumed that the oral sex was done to me rather than me doing it to him. Also, you assumed that I hadn't shaved or had any open cuts on that part or oher parts of my body too. Mainly cause I was drunk or otherwise that I'd not have consider it with him. This is why one night hook-ups in my view are not for the LGBTQ community rather relationships are far more important no cheating as much.

 

to the OP's question, my answer would be a resounding "yes", without hesitation.

that said, i agree with others who have said that while it is unfortunate that this is the case, i think that the OP's reaction was entirely normal. as was the reaction of the person who was turned down.

i truly hope that a cure for HIV and AIDs is found in the near future... my heart goes out to the people who suffer from it.

 

Is it a normal response?

It's in the range of normal responses. Different people react different ways. That's the same for those who are positive. However, it's unfortunate that he acted that way, blowing up and all. Though, to be honest, I'd have rather gone through the blowing up phase than the clam up and not talk to me phase, push me away phase...that's what I got.

Would I date someone who was positive?

Yes. If I loved them, then that's the important thing. I understand the risks associated. My mother was medically training me from the time I was small. I get it. I know. And you might say, love isn't always enough, but for me...it makes the struggles worth it.

I was actually with someone who was positive once. We never had intercourse, but that had nothing to do with his HIV status. We considered it several times, but wanted to wait to make sure sex was the right thing for us. In the end, we broke up due to our paths in life leading us in different directions. His HIV didn't impact the way I felt about him, treated him, looked at him. It was something we had to conscious of, but it was worth it to me, since that person was very special in my heart.


ETA: And it made it even harder for him, because his HIV was contracted through a fight. Blood in the eye. He was never unsafe. I mean...just think about it. I dunno.

 

I have been confronted with this issue, when I found out that a guy I liked was HIV+. I decided that if it were true love I could be with him. We would just make sure that when sex happened it was careful, and we took precautions. He actually couldn't bring himself to date someone who is HIV- because he said that he felt that would be putting them too much at risk. I think if the love is there it's just one more obstacle, and in a relationship there will be obstacles.

---------- Post added 31st Jan 2013 at 07:31 AM ----------

But you're not a bad person for deciding that it wasn't for you. The most important person you have to take care of is yourself.

 

That logic applies to everyone, not just the LGBT- community.

 

I personally wouldn't

I'm non-stop having a go at my ex about unprotected sex with others.
(We're best friends and flat mates now)

To be fair, I think it's irresponsible of those who are positive to seek relations with those who aren't.

It sounds awful, i'm not saying they should be avoided like the plague.
But they are willingly putting others at a very high health risk.

 

Not to derail the thread, but, even in the scenarios that you are giving, the risk of getting HIV from oral sex is very, very low. You have a higher change of getting another STI by oral sex than HIV.

Yes its scary and yes people should be careful, but its also important to be clear on what you can and cannot do to stay safe.

 

no... maybe if I had known her for a long time and she and I would be really f'cking careful... and if we love each other, why not try making it work? I mean... how many people find the love of their lives?

 

If I fell in love and then we found out they had that virus, it is same as any other disease or disability...if they really loved me and I them I wouldn't abandon them...we def would have to learn how do deal with it, and I would prob go in a place she couldn't see me and cry. it is a death warrant.

 

The sad part is that people who would rather date an HIV+ patient than ever consider dating a chronically disabled person. I posted a thread on this question with little response. Its just like this in evolutionary biology that the person marked as weaker is exccluded in the herd and dies a lonely death. Sort of reminds me of Jake Frost's writings or something.

 

I would if i ever loved the guy enough and he loved me.But we would have to be very careful having sex

 

Of course I'd date someone who was HIV positive

There wouldn't be much to worry about sexually, as I'm abstinent. (Finally! It comes in handy for something. )

 

Just out of curiosity, I'm wondering how many of you who answered "no" have ever engaged in a hookup, and barriers were used to protect that sexual interaction...

 

I almost feel jealous towards HIV+ individuals, so am bitter that is all. Lots of people use protection or else they would be HIV+ right? I know as a former bi that many hetrosexuals dn't use protection but its different being gay with anal sex.

 

It's no different.

The level of protection you take during sexual interaction is between that of you and your partner. It has nothing to do with your sexual orientation.

 

Yes, I would date someone who was HIV+.