How you knew?

I think I was either 11 or 12 when I just felt that I could never be with a woman. I slowly noticed that men seemed to turn me on, so I found you know what on the internet and it came together.

So about two years later, it was after work in June (I work in a theme park parking lot for 8 hours a day, blistering sun, yada yada), and I was laying in bed. It was about 11PM, and I was thinking about how I would come out to my mother. Then it smacked me in the face, "I'm thinking about how to come out, not whether I'm gay or not", and that was my accepting moment. From that moment 7 months ago, I'm still contemplating how to come out, but there will be the day...

 

When I was 13, I had my first major crush on a guy at band camp.

I still remember the feeling of horror like it was yesterday.

 

Thats exactly what happened to me lol

 

when i was like 8 or 9.

 

Always knew something was "different." By the time I became a teenager, I always noticed guys instead of girls and desired their affection. I thought it was a phase and that by the time I "grow up" I would be interested in girls; well, that never happened, it remained that I was attracted to guys and desired their affection at which point I knew I was gay for sure.

 

Hi Folks, as a married guy I started to realise I am gay in my late 40s.

Several years ago my father was diagnosed with prostate cancer and I started to research this on the Internet to gain a better understanding of his illness. To my surprise mixed up with all the medical articles on the prostate I kept coming up with links to gay sex, my curiosity got the better of me so I had to look. I started, and now can’t stop, watching gay porn on the internet and began to realise that I am both really turned on by it and that the “Home Movie” type looked completely natural and authentic to me.

It was like a light bulb turning on and everything just made sense. Looking back on my life I now realise there may have been clues but I didn’t recognise them at the time.

Sale Gay Guy

 

In retrospect, I remember finding my male babysitter extremely handsome and I was always super excited to play with him!

 

I've always been attracted to guys and not girls, so yeah I guess that explains it lol.

 

When seventh grade started, I had my first crush on a twelfth grade boy. Other than that, all the boys in my class wanted to kiss girls. All I could thing was, "I want to kiss boys, though." The crush cleared up all my confusion, and thus began the process of accepting it as it was.

 

The fact I couldn't care less about the genitalia the person I'm kissing possesses providing I am attracted to them and never had the "I shouldn't like them because they're x" feelings was kind of a big give away.

 

For me everything came together like a puzzle. I was always different than the other boys, ive never had a crush on a girl. When other boys my age say things like "that chick is so hot" im thinking "That chicks boyfriend is so hot" shortly after Id say "DAMN YOU BRAIN STOP BEING GAY!" then my brain says "NO! MEN ARE ATTRACTIVE. ALL THESE STRAIGHT BOYS GOT IT WRONG" thats when I do bang my head against a wall to shut my brain up.

 

I think I've always known, just sitting there in the background. It did take a sequence for me to acknowledge it though as previously I was sexually/romantically disinterested (just didn't think that way) so I didn't have to consider my sexuality. From then it has just come naturally. I've never been with a male nor had the desire to, intrinsically I've always been attracted to women.

 

I think I knew in elementary school. But that was before I understood what it meant. Then I got caught doing stuff with my "friend" by his mom and I learned that it was "wrong" and that I was just experimenting and that I had to get it out of my system.

Since then I've always been trying to suppress how I really feel. Back then it felt natural. Now I have to get drunk to feel that way and in the morning I feel guilt and shame. Deep down I always knew. Even as I lay beside my girlfriend I know.

 

When I was ten I had a crush on the child actor who played Oliver Twist in the movie Oliver!

In my twenties, was approached by a couple of beautiful women who would have slept with me right then and there, and walked away.

In publicity flyers, couldn't keep my eyes off the male underwear ads, even though the female underwear section was usually right next to them

 

I was watching videos on Youtube with my sister. We were looking at talk shows and came across an interview with transgender children and it hit me. I had already a bunch of little hints (making up male names for myself, dressing as a guy, and much more) but that is what made me finally put the pieces together.

 

That's about how I felt.

 

Through my teens I kept hoping that I would eventually find girls attractive enough that I could be straight. Then my senior year I went to my friend's beach house with a bunch of guy friends.

One night we all stayed up late in the garage just talking until the sun came up. My friend's little brother was getting pestered by some of his friends about something, but it wasn't until my friend (his older brother) left to go to bed that he admitted what his friends were pestering him about: at the Back to School dance, while grinding against this girl, he came in his pants.

That's when I knew for sure that I was not straight. I knew I would never, ever find a girl attractive enough to come in my pants.

Technically I knew something was up when I was younger, like eight or nine. I would get that visceral feeling, that attraction to a member of the same-sex, but at the time I didn't have the vocabulary or awareness to identify what I was feeling. I knew what I was feeling was not what other people felt. Whenever I got that feeling, I tried to imagine how other people would feel, and I would try to pretend that's how I felt.

 

I had this sudden desire to kiss my best friend while saying goodbye (I was moving). But if I think back, there was never really any moment. I just thought everyone felt how I did.

 

I kind of always known that I liked boys more than girls, but didn't know for sure 'till BAAM! I saw my best friend and his hair at high school...