How important are appearances with relationships?

l've seen countless hot women with nerdy and unattractive men.

That's a story for a different day.

Ummmm...l kinda have to say l don't love the idea of accepting every ~*womyn as a beautiful and attractive unique snowflake*~ that l sometimes feel from the lesbian community.

Because for me that's like back at square one where l have the option of dating a MAN l like as a person but don't find attractive. lt's the same thing for me.

So personally the reason l choose to date women is because l find them physically attractive and therefore l would like to date one that l find physically attractive...lol.

---------- Post added 14th Jan 2013 at 07:57 PM ----------

pretty much this. l find all kinds of weird things attractive. l'd like to think nobody l find attractive is objectively UGLY and l doubt very seriously that they are but some people of course won't be into them.

But...as much as l can be crazy about someone, if they really aren't cute to me l can't make it work romantically and this was my major issue with men(all of them lol).

 

I normally notice somebody's personality and that makes them even more attractive. Obviously I notice a hot woman or someone I find attractive, but I normally become friends with people before I notice their looks.

 

there has to be some attraction but not like omg shes the hottest girl alive.
i think more apperance wise its more to do with she looks after herself, i.e she doesnt have tatty hair, she doesnt have a dirty face from not washing e.t.c
that all comes into account too! not just looks in the way youre talking lol.

but personality overrides everything.

 

A majority of people have stated that, unconsciously, we desire those that we are attracted to in a compatible sense. We always see if their personalities fit well with ours.

However, what we havent seem to state is, what is the meaning of attractive? And what does good looks mean individually for each of us?

Do we find someone good looking because everyone seems to think so? I.e society.
Or do we find someone physically attractive on our own terms?

Everyone sees a good looking person differently, and everyone will be attracted to an individual differently. It's the matter of being personally attracted and interested in another, and whether their looks is what you find sexy.

For me, i find dorky people, that are highly intelligent that can keep up with my intellectual brain and talk about interesting facts of the world, who are also down to earth, and are productive in their life and like to be active whether in bed or outside, extremeeely sexy.

They dont have to have a model look, so long as they are not Obese. Because obesity shows me that they are lazy and would rather sit on their buttocks and eat their face to oblivion. Thats just not how i like my lover to be.

Im blessed that my girlfriend is everything that im attracted to as stated above. Though she is smaller than me, and looks much more fragile with her dorkiness and all, shes definitely got more strength sexually. And i love our intelligent pep talks too, and how we can talk about anything and it can turn to amazing thoughts.

 

I agree with that but i also believe beauty is in they eye of the beholder

 

I think it's more about me being attracted to that person rather than that person being "good looking" so in that sense looks are important, but it's always going to be the preference of the person if they find someone "good looking"

 

apperances are useless. if i cant walk around with messy hair kindda dirty band shirt, worn jeans and old shoes and am not aloud to smell a LITTLE funky then no boyfriend :|

 

My belief is that looks are important to get things started, and that the quality of the personality is what affects the progression of the relationship. Being very physically attractive makes things easier in the very beginning (people are more likely to fall for you, etc), but having a good personality is important to actual move things beyond just the "That guy is cute" stage.

The way I see it, you only need to look good enough that a person is capable of feeling some sort of sexual attraction to you. Being plain/boring looking won't kill your relationship chances; as long as you can make up for it with an interesting and friendly personality. Basically, as long as your looks don't counteract your personality, you should be fine. Being a little overweight is fine, if you're excessively overweight, well go on a healthy diet and exercise. But really, as long as you practice good hygiene (shower regularly, hair is combed, wear deodorant, a touch of cologne if that's your thing, nice breath, etc), most people won't be turned off by you.

 

Appearances really do matter for part of it, rather we like it or not. The visually appealing people are more popular or more "welcomed" - it even goes for here.

It's pretty much about playing the game. I dress very, very, very well. I like to think that I'm attractive - but I'm not some gorgeous model type.

However, it just takes a lot of effort, time, and confidence if you aren't the typical person.

 

It's very important. I won't bother with trying to meet anyone until my appearance is fixed.

 

Relationship, like most things, are based on individual preference. Some people are more affected by physical attraction than others; so it really depends on you and your partners.

Some people will only be able to date supermodels, while some are able to develop physical attraction based on emotional traits.

It really also depends on what you want in a relationship - some couples are perfectly fine with living together in love and companionship while seeking lust somewhere else.

Though of course I'd concede, that having physical attraction helps a lot in the world of dating and romance. Then again, who says life has to revolve around dating and romance. We all have different qualities and traits in this world; we'd just have to use what we have to create a life that fits.

 

^This. My previous and first serious crush started from friendship, rather than physical attraction. He wasn't ugly, and definitely would be considered pretty good looking. However, I just didn't feel any physical attraction for him at first. I liked how we shared a lot of interests and had fun together, and eventually started "liking" him. Interestingly, for a while, I didn't actually feel physically attracted to him, it was like I felt attracted to the person and not the body (not to be pretentious). Then it sort of rounded out and I just felt an overall attraction to him.

Interesting though, since before him, I probably wouldn't have felt attracted to that "type" of look. He has a sort of emo look, especially the hair (but he's definetly not the stereotypical emo personality, far from it), which actually used to be something I didn't like (I thought the whole emo-look was sort of dumb looking), but now I do like it. Funny how love changes you in the long run.

 

Looks are really important to me. Not always a 0.7 waist hip ratio, but presentation and smile. A nice set of eye lashes and a smile is super attractive to me. Being obese is a big turn off. I don't want to be in a relationship where I need to worry about my partner's health and I want someone who can keep up with me physically, doing things like horseback riding and rock climbing. A nice skin tone, dressing with care, and a smile make people attractive to me. I find many, many people attractive. For a relationship, I need an emotional connection. This is much, much more difficult to find.

 

I some what disagree... To me, personality is something that I think is more important to the start of a relationship than what someone looks like. Now, I, personally, am very vain about how I look, but As long as I'm with someone who loves me for who I am, I really don't care what they look like~ and I can love that person for who they are...Of course, them being cute doesn't hurt any... but I happen to like the nerdier variety. haha...

 

I feel that good looks are always nice, but what's underneath the surface is what really counts. In my book, a plain-looking girl who has a fabulous personality is greatly preferable to a gorgeous one who acts like a bitch. And I also agree that people can see the same thing very differently. According to my best friend, I have 'awful taste,' but I don't see what's wrong with it.