Is He Gay?

Eeeek! Has it been over a month? Scanner, nothing you can say will scare me off. A forum, a post usually asks for opinions and sharing of thoughts. It's expected and defintely needed in my case. While some things may be harsh (in general), I can't pick and choose what I want.

Firstly, thanks for checking in, I apologize for not updating as much, this year has been a crazy ride and it's only February.

Secondly, Happy new year! Hope everyone is having a great one so far.

Lastly, lost post ahead, be forewarned!

I finally got the career job of my dreams! After years of working at a job that I love but have no chance of advancing (I basically worked my way up to middle management and got stuck), I applied for a position through a prestigious albeit rigorous position and got accepted. While I don't officially start until June, I still have a lot of planning ahead; which explains the lack of updates.

So christmas. I got both amy and corey a gift, nothing major, just something small. What surprised me was corey getting a present for me. We hadn't discussed anything about exchanging gifts so it was a surprise.

At work, we did secret santa and while I didnt get sean, I did get him a gift and surprisingly, he got me one as well. At work, me sean and our other coworker (new character alert!) Julia have gotten pretty close. She admitted to me that she has a crush on him but thought he was gay when she first met him. He laughed when she told him. Julia also gotten him a gift (she did get him for secret santa) and he got her one as well.

At our company holiday party, we went our afterwards and I met his sister. During the holidays, all three (julia, not the sister) of us texted each other. For some reason my texts don't show up on his phone so me and him text separately.

Sean left our job for a better one a couple of weeks ago. Julia, sean and I celebrated his new position and on his last day, he wanted to go out and we did as well.

Corey thinks sean is gay and said "why do you keep meeting straight guys who are gay?" I told him we're just friends and coworkers and he's also straight.

Whenever we hang out, me and sean happen to text and corey would look over at my phone. He asked to see a picture even though he has seen pictures of me and sean. He said he looks attractive.

So last week, corey was busy at work so I didn't come in. Sean invited julia and me to a party so I went out. We got drunk and decided to go eat. At the resturant we had a gay server who sean was talking to. Sean asked where he was going and he said a gay bar. so we went there and met up with the server and his friend.

I was pretty out of it so I sat back while julia and sean spoke to the new friends they made. I eventually started talking to them as well. After a couple of drinks, sean got really drunk and the new friends started hinting that sean was gay. Julia pointed out that I'm gay but they paid me no mind.

Julia than responded by kissing sean and I was in shock. Eventually the new friends started being aggressive by threatening to kiss sean so I pull him over and told him we needed to leave. They mentioned they thought we were together but i told them we weren't.

When we got to the train, sean was so drunk he kept winking and rubbing his hands in my hair and on my face. Not a tousle, more like letting his hand just stay on my face and slowly dragging it down. I pushed him and said "don't talk to me, you're so drunk". he got on the train and spoke to this guy who i sat next to, the guy answered his question. Sean then looks at me and says "go for it" and winks at me and the guy. The guy smiled but eventually got off the train.

sean made it home and we didnt speak until the superbowl. Me and corey were supposed to hang but he was sick so he didnt make plans. me and sean just texted throughout the game.

This week, sean and I texted a couple of times and he mentioned taking me out to celebrate the new job but I said I'll invite julia along as well. we'll probably hang out monday.

I didnt see corey today because I had a long work week and I needed to recharge. we did speak through text a bit but that was it.

I know what you're thinking: "Has noclue replaced his feelings for corey with sean?" "is he trying to make corey jealous?" "noclue is a weirdo"

here's where I'm at: I'm officially over my ex. Yes, it still hurts but I handled it better. that and he last contacted me for christmas and not a peep since.

I'm so excited for my new position and that is where my focus is now. I decided that things will heppen when they need to and I needn't worry much.

sean is just a friend and while it is weird that these gay men have called him gay (even making it a point to tell julia when she said they were a couple that "he's gay and he'll break your heart honey") in her ear; until he tells me otherwise, i'm assuming he's straight.

Ok, maybe it's a little weird he calls me "boo boo" and "gurl". And that he's really adamant on finding me a guy. and checking guys out for me. like really checking guys out. or that we have a lot of pictures together. or that we text a lot. or whenever we drink, sex always comes up. but he's straight.

Corey. Corey is corey. we still have a good friendship although we havent hung out alone in awhile but when we do, i have that sense of easiness that i had before. But i also realize that this isn't my focus and with the job coming up, i may not even have time for a relationship with anyone let alone trying to do anything with him.

He also told me that he and CG are going to mexico next month for their vacation. I was upset, but I realized i was upset because I realized their relationship is serious and not casual as I led myself to believe. I mentioned I needed a vacation before my job starts and he said we can do something but I thought he meant something else so I said well, i need someone to go with and he said "f you then, i meant us, I thought we can travel together." I apologized and said I didn't hear him.

For now, my focus is not on relationships. I'll manage my feelings as they come for corey and manage situations with sean as it arises but if I can just get over valentines day, I'm pretty much in the clear with relationships and whatever.

At the moment, I'm just elated for my career and the possibilities it holds. Corey was the first person I told. Funny enough, he asked me if I told anyone before him and I told him I got the email and texted him directly.

we shall see, the year is young!

Hope all is well with you guys! (&&&)(&&&)(&&&)(&&&)

---------- Post added 8th Feb 2015 at 02:07 AM ----------

Just to add, I did not cut corey off. I realized what everyone says and how valuable our friendship is.

 

Hey everyone,

Just figured I'd update a bit.

So as if gays of our lives can't get any more complicated, it did.

My ex wrote me this long email in which he wanted to reconnect. He said he realized how many problems there were in our relationship and how much he loved and cared for me. He cant stand the fact that I haven't responded to his texts, etc.

Being as he hadn't reached out to me since December, I was over him. This email however, just set me back. I sent the email to corey to read and corey asked if I wanted to talk about it.

I didn't that night since I really just wanted to pretend it didn't happen. Corey offered to take me out and the next day I said yes.

We went out, just us and it was a pleasant surprise. He waited for an hour in the cold for me to arrive which was utterly sweet and stupid at the same time. (he misread our conversation about timing).

We talked it out and he said how he is proud of how far ive come, how ive managed without my ex and how much more i have going for me. It was really sweet to hear it from him. He playfully teased me about sean and how he thinks sean is gay and how amy and CG agrees. I thought to myself, its kind of weird to look at pictures of me and him and speculate and its weird hes always teasing me about sean. He mentioned since it was friday the 13th that I was his mistress and tomorrow he would be with CG and how CG said it was perfect i was hanging out with him that friday.

afterwards, we went home (not together) and i texted him good night. He responded good night and how he loved our date and we had fun.

now scanner, I didnt know how to respond so I said "lol, good night". *cue the firing squad*

As if things couldnt get any weirder, I found out that Sean is gay. He didn't tell me, I happen to stumble on a gay dating site and there he was.

I didnt know how to react so I sent a message saying "sean?"

He hasnt responded but we did hang out after I found out and we both pretended it didnt happen.

I dont know how to feel. This whole time I thought he was straight and now he may not be. while it doesnt matter either way, all those nights we hung out and got drunk and would say inappropriate things now seem weird.

we're currently texting right now and if he doesnt want to acknowledge i know, then i wont bring it up. but its killing me to keep it secret, especially since corey always says sean is gay or at least "gay for you" and how this always happens to me, i'm starting to realize it's true.

this is pretty mind boggling bordering on unbelievable. i just needed to get it off my chest.

we'll see how this goes, i will keep yall posted.

Stay warm folks! (&&&)

 

Hey all,

I'm doing great, hope everyone is as well.

I haven't spoken to Sean about it. I pretended nothing happened. I figured, if he wanted to tell me, he would. I don't want to confront him or force him if he isn't ready.

I know it was him because he changed his picture and while once can "catfish", i'm 99% certain it's him.

It made sense now, him wanting to go to a gay bar, him talking in neutral pronouns ("person", not "he"/"she").

For now, we're friends and not anything more. We spoke about what we were looking for in general and while i'm looking for a relationship, he's looking to play the field. We're at 2 different places and that's ok.

I saw corey 2 week ago for the first time in a month. He went on vacation with CG without telling me (he told me last month but didn't specify a date. Last time he went with her, he gave me his flight info, etc.)

I knew he was going to be gone for a week but amy told me it was 2 weeks so i didnt see him for a month because I was hanging with sean and other things.

when i finally saw corey, amy hugged me and said excitedly "does corey know you're here?" I said no and she said "go see him, he'll be really happy!" I walked intot he office and said "why is amy so excited i'm here?" he replied "we thought you abandoned us." I laughed and for the rest of the day he 'hinted" how i abandoned him and anytime i pointed out changes, he'd say "you would npotice if you were here".

when he saw me, we caught up with amy. he said 'you know i'm in the mood for?" he looked at me while i guess (it ended up being the restaurant i introduced him to).

we ended up going and was going to stop by his friends bday party. CG called and they got into an argument. he told me not to mention we're going anywhere and ended up not going to the bday party and just the restaurant.

it was nice he missed me i guess. all day long he'd hug me, he fumbled when i said why he didnt tell me he went on vacation. he said he didnt have wifi and that i didnt respond to his earlier text. he even said CG didnt want to tell anyone which to me was weird because last time he had no problem telling me.

this week, our high school friend came by and we reminisced about high school. we realized we had been chat buddies in high school and totally forgot. corey showed our friend my phone with his drawing of me as my wallpaper.

CG was also there and she jokingly said i was his boyfriend. Corey was texting me even though we were in the same room. it wasnt anything major, more like "hi!" and i said "why are you texting me, we're in the same room." and he replied "idk".

That's all to report. I told him how stressed i was last month so i couldnt see him. I'm glad he still cares and truly misses me and i feel the same. he would hug me or gave me a massage. we'd share lunch and just laugh.

he mentioned us going to the beer and bacon festival we went to last year so lets see if it'll happen.

Hope all is well with everyone!(&&&)

 

Hey everyone,

It's been a crazy couple of months with me. Sorry for the lack of updates. I'll continue updating as I can, if u guys are still interested.

So long story short, I've been busy with my new job - extremely busy as I also started my masters program at my university.

Lets get to business shall we?

Sean - we got drunk celebrating my new job a couple of months back and ended up holding hands, hugging and when he asked for a kiss, I kissed him....on the cheek.

To be fair, he came out and then drunkenly demanded we hold hands and cuddle (we were in a cab on our way to our houses). He mentioned he had a bf so I let go of his hand and he grabbed it back so I let him. I kissed him when he asked but on tye cheek since obviously he had a bf.

I say "had" because it happened last month again only he was really upset and drunk and told me he broke up with his bf. No kissing, I just took him home and out of his clothes he threw up on. We've spoken since and he's at a phase where hes playing the field. I'm looking for a serious relationship and thats ok. We're not romantically involved - just friends.

Corey - well, we went on vacation together. It was orginally a just us vacation to reward myself for my new job but he invited cg and so I invited amy. The trip was great and while there were tense moments between us (cg basically took over the whole trip with her things she wanted to do), I enjoyed myself and did my own thing which was what I planned anyways.

When we got back, he was more attentive, he knew I didnt like cg and made sure he paid some attention to me. To the point where at a night out with his friends,, he came up to ke and whispered the brand of underwear I had on (apprently they were showing). When i said whats confusing in a convo, he replied "my sexuality".

Again, he was nice and while I can go on and on and gush, I wont. During the summer, i met many guys who similarly acted like that towards me. (Like one guy who said "I wish I can say I'm bi"). Ive told corey and surprisingly, he remembered who they were, their names and how they looked like (i showed him facebook photos).

Ive come to the realization that if he liked me, he wouldve said something. All we have are unspoken words and gazes. Its like we're waiting for each other to say something. But in the end, I know that I am a pretty great guy and a catch. If he isnt the one, he isnt the one.

Never mind the fact he got us tickets to our favorite comedian. Or that amy commented how cute we are and shes never seen two guys like that. Or how he noticed how brown my eyes are. Or how I am "the type of person who stand out" and is funny. Or that he friends love me.

I digress.

He is going on a vacation with cg in two weeks and ill be busy with work and school.

At this point, that is my prioirity. Everything else will fall into place.

Hope u guys are doing awesome!(&&&)

---------- Post added 1st Sep 2015 at 12:34 AM ----------

Btw my ex also contacted me and after a very short convo, I ended up lying and saying im in a relationship so we both can move on. He says he still wants to be friends.

 

Hi everyone, (happy new year!(!))

I figured, I'd update since dapulu asked (thanks!) and since I havent in a while...

So the last couple of months have been busy on both our ends. When he got back from vacation with CG, he got me a gift which was unexpected and nice. He resigned from his weekend position so we don't hang out on the weekends anymore.

I brought Sean as my date to Coreys birthday which was interesting. Corey introduced himself and said "Sean right?" without Sean having to introduce himself. Corey complimented me on my outfit and I said "thanks I've worn it before" and he turned to Sean and said "he never knows how to take a compliment" and Sean agreed. Nothing too interesting to report that night, though it was weird that the next day CG added Sean on Facebook even though they didnt even speak much. (She didn't even introduce herself to him).

I've met Coreys brother again, (I met his brother when we went away this past summer) and Corey mentioned how he hasnt really introduced his brother to anyone.

Me and corey have hung out a couple of times after that, we ran into my high school friend, the one i mentioned outed me in high school. Corey was shocked and asked how I felt. I said I was ok. We've talked on and off at least once a week but I've kept things light.

Every time we've hung out, Corey asks about Sean and that I should bring Sean along. I told him that me and Sean are only friends and that Sean and I do not do everything together. Corey complimented me on various things throughout our meetups, my shoes, my clothes, my "positive" outlook, sexy, etc. He mentions how awesome he thinks I am because his friends like me. I always say "of course, I'm pretty awesome." He hugged me once and then did it again because "I was so warm".

Me, Corey, CG and her friend went out for the Superbowl this past weekend. Corey brought me my gift from my birthday last year because I celebrated with Sean and we didn't see each other. It was cool, I was rooting for the Panthers tears and Corey commented how he didnt know I followed football (I used to watch games because of him but I stopped). He kept hugging me everytime the Broncos scored. Midway through the night, he switched seats with CG so he could sit next to me and caressed my face after they scored a touchdown. I was so mad at losing and corey commented how he wished I played more sports because he loves my trash talking and competitive spirit. I gave him the middle finger. I was also messaging Sean bc he didnt come but we both were watching the game.

Afterwards, we walked around and eventually went home. Corey and CG waited for my train but it didnt come so we all got on his train. I messaged Sean when I got home and the next day, Corey texted me that i didnt let him know I got home safe. I told him I didn't know i had to, and he said CG mentioned it but ok. Then he brought up the Iowa state fair and how we should go this summer. I told him I'll look into it but I have a feeling CG is definitely going so I don't think I'll go.

So thats where we stand. I've learned to not get so hung up on Corey. I decided that if it happens it happens. If not, I'll be okay. I'm trying to keep my distance but also enjoy my life. with or without him.

As for CG, I've learned not to scrutinize her and just simply ignore her whenever she says something I don't like. I guess as we get older, I realize I don't have to be around or put up with anything I don't want to.

It sounds very conceited, but I know I'm an amazing person and if he can't see it, I can't force it on him. There are other fish in the sea I guess.

To dapulu: No, we have not spoken about our sexual/romantic tension. Theres like this unspoken thing between us.

To bookreader: We actually had a bit of an argument during our vacation. CG kept wanting us to meet her friends and me and Amy wanted todo our own thing. I never told Corey but in my head, I felt like this was "my" trip to celebrate how hard I worked and even though Corey said we can do our own thing, it seemed like we kept being "dragged" into these plans. In the end, I just chose to do my own thing.

Based of our vacation experience, I think we need to talk about it before I agree to go away again. Otherwise, I would much rather go by myself. I was pretty annoyed about the fact that Corey wasnt more diplomatic when CG was taking over the trip. He kept saying on vacation he prefers to do nothing which wasnt really helpful. It bothered me that my trip, to celebrate my accomplishments was overshadowed on her plans to meet with her friends. I don't think I'm overreacting on this.

Well, that's all for now. Hope everyone has a great Valentines day; I will be solo again this year lol (&&&)

 

Hey bookreader,

I don't think she feels threatened by me because of Corey. I think (and he has mentioned) she has insecurities so sometimes what she says, how she reacts is based on those insecurities.

lol at shipping me and Sean. We get along pretty great and plenty of ppl (corey included) think we're a couple but we're just friends. :icon_bigg

 

Hey someguy01, yes, it has been 2-3 years. I havent told him because CG is in the picture. It's not appropriate in my opinion. I do get the sense we're both waiting for each other to say it, but I don't think I am in the same frame of mind as I was before. I think at this point, I'm not waiting around. If it happens, it happens. If not, I'll be okay. I'm generally fine but whenever we hang out and he gets attentive, I dont know what to think. :bang: Thanks for the support!

Mystory, Yes, he knew I was gay for a while. The night of the "kiss" was when he told me he was. You're right, we havent spoken about the "kiss". I think maybe it was a drunken moment. It's not a big deal, he asked for a kiss and I kissed him on the cheek. I don't think he wanted a kiss on the lips being that he had a bf at the time. Sean and I are close, but the holding hands and cuddling thing only happened twice - him being drunk both times.

I do miss Scanner's witty comments, hopefully he's doing well and still around! :icon_bigg

Bookreader, if not romantically, i'm sure he has platonic feelings for me.