Is He Gay?

It's been a really long time since your last post... I hope you are just too busy with your new boyfriend! Keep us updated!

 

Hey NoClue, how's it going?

 

Hiya! I'm glad you're back and that everything's okay. I'm glad everything seems to be okay with Corey too.

Aaaaw, I like how sweet Corey was when you talked to him about your ex.

All in all I think this post has really showed how sensitive of other people's emotions Corey is. He seems to be pretty good at picking stuff up. I bet he probably knows you're trying to avoid him and maybe he has a clue of why you're doing it too. I totally get why you're not comfortable hanging out with him and CG, I really do. I bet it can't be easy seeing the person you like with someone else.

By the way? I'm proud of you for doing this:

I think this is something Scanner normally would have yelled at you for doing but I think you saved yourself pretty well there.

I think that food picture thing is pretty weird too...it's almost like CG tries to prove to Corey that she can be as awesome as you or something.

Please keep us updated (*hug*)

 

:::in a darkened room a single beam of light illuminates an empty spot on the stage far below:::
:::a single lonely violin begins to slowly play a somber tune and a shadowy figure is seen standing just outside of view, just outside the threshold of sight::::
:::moments go by and gradually more violins play and the tune changes from somber to something slightly more energetic, like the birds sleeping in the trees seeing the first light of day; their initial stirrings are mimicked by the increase in violins as they play in unison, the shadowy figure steps forward as drumbeats announce his approach and the violin's strings confidently resonating a sinewy timbre slowly build to a fantastic crescendo.:::
:::the excitement in the air builds to a fantastic finish as the shadowy figure steps fully into the light, suddenly sparks shoot out of the stage, all the lights go on, giant lasers shoot into the night sky and an entire orchestra plays triumphantly- - - ITS .... SCANNER!!!!(((in THX surround sound))):::
FULL MEMBER NOW BITCHES .... ITS ON!!!

:::ahem:: That was definitely my gay side...making a grand entrance. ::triple snap::

NoClue?
How've you been? Long time no see (er reply). I've still thought of you often however every time that "Why you gotta be so rude?" song comes on. It kinda stuck with me from your reply to my "music video" post. Its a good choice for an anthem of unrequited love. Actually not a bad choice as a theme song to this post either...everyone go ahead and set your music players to "Rude" by Magic!..take your time...I'll wait.....
Ok?
"Saturday morning jumped out of bed...and put on my best suit.."
ah...good..
And yes I see the parallel...the guy in that song trying and trying for his love...lots of yearning energy ...but he always gets a "NO"....but he's gonna marry him anyway...no matter what he say...oh gawd...the song and this thread together plays on my romantic side like a stack of flapjacks smothered in butter and syrup with a bacon egg smiley face and whipped cream hairdo. So sugary sweet, yet so delicious.
(and yes, readers, I do expect pictures of your breakfast to be posted if you actually make that)

So NoClue, you've been giving him the cold shoulder recently huh? You cancelled game night and pretty much made sure nothing fun happened on the rarest of halloweens that actually happen on a friday/saturday making it one of the best party nights of the year. We're only of the right age and disposition to enjoy a few of these in any given lifetime, they're definitely not to be wasted!! Yet, this is understandable in your case. Lately, I would imagine its just been hurting too damn much to do otherwise.

We all learn that from a very young age. The stove is *hot* so stay away from it or you'll get burned. And so we learn to avoid pain. So he's taken that one small step and gotten more physically closer to you with all the touches, massages and other personal exchanges I've read in your last several posts. Yet, CG is still alive and kickin' in her little fishbowl and no matter how much bleach you pour in her tank she just won't go belly up so Corey will finally flush her and fall into your arms.

Is Corey really your white unicorn? Is he that one special breed of guy, who, much like blueskies' boyfriend can cross the gay/straight divide because he's a rare type who's sexual feelings are so connected to his emotional love of someone more than physical attraction that his emotional feelings of love can actually dictate his physical attraction? So many of us fall in love with our best friends and hope for it and so many of us are gravely disappointed when our love cannot defeat what nature programmed into them anymore than we can seek to change ourselves with the feelings that nature programmed into the standard issue homosexual.

LOL (thats a maniacal, drawn out, half crazy LOL)
YOU NEED TO TELL HIM TRUST HIM TELL HIM THE TRUTH
TELL THAT BOY HOW YOU FEEL. HAVE FAITH IN YOUR FRIENDSHIP.

ok class, all together now:
I'm sorry I've been acting weird lately and I know I've seemed distant at times.
The truth is that how ever much I respect and care for you as a friend, sometimes those lines blur for me and it causes me to WISH THAT SOMETIMES THAT YOU WERE GAY like me. I hope that doesn't make you feel uncomfortable or change the way you feel about me as your friend, but I thought you should know.
(and yes..perfectly acceptable to puss out and spew all that out in text message form)

Then stock your freezer with ice cream, your fridge with vodka and have the pizza man on speed dial so you can hole yourself up in your house for a week if things go bad. That really is all there is too it, thats really what you've needed to do all along and what you will eventually HAVE TO DO. (unless you really want it to get ugly). This is why I don't mind getting a little flirty with any of my friends, or their friend's friends. If I think they're cute, I try and let 'em know it from the get go. I have yet to get a negative response, in fact, most guys I've come across are genuinely flattered as long as you don't press it or lay it on too thick and get weird with it.

The thing you have to keep in mind here is that no matter how much we all naturally want to cast ourselves as the hero in our own story...you're the one being the dick. You're keeping a very important secret, a whole part of yourself from your good, best friend. You've let your fears cast yourself as the villain.

On the other side of that coin, all those massages, his new physical affections. Common sense dictates you pretty much have to take that at face value. Which means that no matter if he is gay or straight, all those physically affectionate massages and touches and other things he's doing to you...he really means it...he really cares for you. And you've returned his love with distrust and dishonesty.

I would take the pain you're feeling as a warning signal. Now is the time to take inventory and decide just how far down that nasty rabbit hole you wanna go. What level of consequences are you willing to face by continuing to withhold the truth from him?

**If he really is straight, do you really wanna be the guy that drives a wedge between him and his girlfriend and breaks them up? Do you want to do that to your best friend?

**As I've mentioned before, with Corey on this pedestal of unrequited love, with one-sided love always being perfect, you'll have GREAT difficulty moving on and finding any real, meaningful relationship until you get closure from Corey one way or another because somehow, none of the other guys can ever quite measure up to that perfect version of Corey in your mind. (The one that will somehow, someday, some way wake up one day and dump his girlfriend and run headlong into your arms). How make years are you willing to wait?

**You've gained a pretty fun group of friends between you, Corey, CG and Amy. Whats going to happen to this group if you let another 2 years go by without saying a word and somehow its discovered how you feel then? I'm just sayin' CG can probably handle, and probably forgive a gay friend having a little bit of a man crush on her boyfriend, especially considering how close you guys are, but how will she feel if 3-4 years go by and then she learns you've loved him all along? If that happens, she'll quickly connect a lot of dots and suddenly realize you've been her adversary all along and SHE WILL HATE YOU, which will make it difficult for you and Corey to be friends if he's going to have a future with her.

I could probably go on, but I think you get the idea. I think you're reaching a point here where you're going to suffer and face consequences you don't want unless you're willing to take a hard look in the mirror and decide what kind of man you want to be. I know this is one of my harsher posts, but I've already tried to give it to ya straight. You've got an awesome group of friends right now and the kind of best friend that probably only 1 in ten of us are lucky enough to find in a single lifetime. Honestly there's a lot of gay and straight people out there right now with boyfriends/girlfriends who don't get along and connect with each other as well as you and Corey do. That is something very valuable and precious (yes I know it sounds cheesy to say its precious), but that really is the right word. PRECIOUS

Think about what you're doing and what you're doing to him.
As much as he loves and cares for you, don't let him have a one sided relationship with you thinking you guys are like peas and carrots (Forrest Gump ha ha ) When later he finds out that you could never really trust him.
DO THE RIGHT THING.

ROCK ON
SCANNER

 

oh wow, im really sorry to hear, i hope everything turnes out well. *hugs* just know that u can friend me at any time and we can talk, i know im young but a little chat with someone who has had a similar expirence can be helpful.(*hug*)

 

I certainly don't want to be mean, and I understand the tough situation that you are going through... but do you know how much most people (*me included*!) would be super happy if their crush was planning something for their birthday?! I know I wouldn't even think of not going... or would at least actively work on replanning if I really couldn't!

If Corey and Amy were together and she tells you that, doesn't that show you that he was probably very anxious to see you? It seems to me that he was probably missing you and was saying that to Amy. Again, do you know how many people would be thrilled if their crush was missing them like that?

I also think that you can't go on much longer without telling him. You have been friends for so long now, he should be able to understand your feelings even if you end up in the unlikely possibility that he does not share them at all...
I think the probability that it would ruin your friendship is lower than if you just continue like you are doing now without telling him and having a somewhat unfriendly behavior.

After all the rejection that you seem to have given him this week and considering he had planned your birthday, couldn't you offer him to do something in the next week at the very least??

(P.S. I don't want to sound as if I am criticizing you in any way. Your situation is difficult and I am sure that you doing the best that you can!)

 

But... but... why?? :eek:

Don't you think Amy and CG might tell him that you sent them a message to thank them? And then he'll find out you thank his friends, but don't take the time for him. If you think that he is sending you mixed signals, can you see how the signals you are sending him are even more confused lately?

Why wouldn't you? He organized you a birthday which you didn't go. You did not go see him this week when he had a birthday cake for you. You have not really thanked him. And now you don't want to go see him at his job "as usual" next week also?

Well if you really don't hope for this potential relationship to work anymore and you want to distance yourself from him, you are doing everything right... And I don't want to blame you for that, you have to right to move on and hope for another relationship to work with someone else... But if I understand you correctly and you still hope to end up with him, now is the time to readjust! If ever he really wants something to happen with you, he will probably have to believe that you still want it too, which is not really what you have been showing him lately...

At least, you bought him a birthday gift...

Keep in mind, I don't want to be mean, I'm just trying my best to help you! :goodluck:

And I think I forgot up to now, but even though it's a little late

 

NoClue:

Well first of all, a belated Happy Birfday to ya! What day was it exactly? I'm sorry but I don't remember from last year. Mines coming in February where I'll turn 29(and a half---FOREVER!!!) ...and now...

::grabs NoClue firmly by both arms and shakes furiously, shouts, "SNAP OUT OF IT!" and gives NoClue a hard, manly SLAP across the face:::
Now calm down dear and drink your *Baritol* tonic!

(lol sorry always wanted to try that...I seen them do that in those old, old 40s and 50s movies whenever a woman starts acting hysterical, a man comes along and slaps her - then either the doctor comes or another woman comes along with some quasi-cure that usually involves a sedative or a few sips of alcohol and that quiets her down...too funny ...always wanted to work than in somewhere..oh and yes for those Roseanne fans out there, thats where I got the name "Bare-it-all" tonic from(Season 8, Episode 6 "The Fifties Show")

Anyhow...
NoClue ...I had trouble follow the continuity on some of the events here. But we'll get to that later, for now, lets see if we can agree on a few of the facts of what happened:

Do you agree that:
1) If Corey invites you back to CG's apartment for vague reasons "to hang out and stuff" on your birthday (or the day you're celebrating it), It probably means they have made plans for you which they don't want you to know about yet. (A surprise)

2) Again I'm a little vague on the continuity here, but if CG texts you and avoids discussing your birthday, doesn't even mention it when she knows full well it's your birthday. Could she a) be acting like a mean, uncaring bitch, or,
b) nervous about spoiling a surprise, so she's trying to not bring it
up at all lest she accidentally lets something slip. Especially
considering, it was around this time frame where she was out
buying you a birthday cake with your name on it, which Corey
would later text you and say CG had bought for you. So she
couldn't possibly have forgot, in fact, she was probably having
fun organizing your birthday since she seemed so enthused
planning Corey's with you,I assume she probably had that same
energy and enthusiasm when planning your party when she
talked to Corey and Amy.

3) Can we also agree that "boo boo" is an overly cute and silly name, even for a cat?
(Not to be negative, just sayin' is all)

4) Just so I'm clear...you haven't seen Corey at all this past week? Just text messages???

5) If Amy text you to come and hang out...and you say, 'No, Corey can entertain you' and she replies, "That's not the point". Then that means that the real point is that Corey planned out this awesome surprise birthday gig for you, CG and Amy helped and they were all excited. And you ditched them....ouch.

6) When somebody sends you a picture of a birthday cake, with your name on it...ahh fuck it...I'm skipping the rest of number six...missing your own surprise birthday party ..its just too sad.

It really sucks dude. I'm sorry it worked out that way for you. Had you played along, you would've had a party, a cake, out to dinner...probably some time at the bar. And instead of freaking out, you could've been writing us telling how handsy Corey got with you at the bar for your birthday party.

Well NoClue, my first piece of advice to you here is RELAX! Seriously, RELAX!

Nothing's permanently spoiled or ruined or irrevocably damaged. Everything is still cool with everybody. CG doesn't hate you, and honestly, all things considered (even given what she said when she was drunk) I don't think she's really even vibing on that at all. I think at most, she thinks you are a little distant with her. I don't think she realizes at all that you wouldn't mind if she spontaneously combusts right in front of you.

The rest of it you can easily chalk up to a case of rancid diarrhea or perhaps a severe bout of Gay Male PMS. Either way, things are not near as dire as they seem, especially from their point of view..they are probably more worried about you and wondering whats going on and if they can help than anything else. Even so, you know the truth, and yeah things do seem to be coming to a head with the situation with Corey. The main thing is STAY COOL. There really isn't anything to get embarrassed, upset, excited or feel ashamed about. There's no need to run, no need to hide. OMFG! You have feelings of love! Well Holy Shit! See what I mean? Nothing to get excited about a natural human emotion, it is what it is.

Seven billion other people are alive right now and have felt, are feeling or will feel this same thing at some point. I always remind myself of this when I'm going through tough times emotionally. I've never felt anything in my life someone else hasn't already felt and worked through 1,000 times in 1,000 other lifetimes. If they can live through it then so can I. For some reason, this helps me, just to know that even though the situation is unique and new to me, it's nothing new under the sun.

So if you really want to know how Corey will most likely react, ask yourself how would you react if one of your best friends came up to you and said they were in love with you? Regardless of how you felt, you'd treat them with compassion wouldn't you? So will Corey, one way or another.

YeeeeeeeeeeS! He will!!!!

Originally posted by NoClue:

No no no no no no no no no no no! No! No! and NO!
I didn't say you need to be the villain, I said you ARE the villain. (Thus far unwittingly).
I wrote that to put things in a neutral perspective for you. So you could see what you're doing to Corey through your actions and in-actions.

But whatever it is you got planned here, and from your last post you seemed like you're getting real close. My advice to you is NEVER to Thelma and Louise this relationship. DO NOT RIDE OFF INTO THE SUNSET AND STRAIGHT OFF A CLIFF.

You've done this before and you know what? So have I..to real good friends. A group of them, not unlike your group. You know what? I still miss them, still think about them to this day.(over a decade later) If I would've just said my feelings at the time and said I was sorry...I could've fixed everything. But now, they're all gone...I was the leader of the group and I broke them all apart; everyone grew apart and I don't even have a way to contact any of them today. I don't even know where most of them are. It hurts.

So you tell me NoClue...What are you here for? How will this story end? This post was started 703 days ago. Its got 500 replies and nearly 30,000 views. You've turned this into your own version of The Truman Show and everyone is hanging on a thread waiting to see what happens next. I want to believe you started this thread to break a destructive cycle in your life that you recognized and want to stop. I think a part of you got tired of shutting people off like a switch when things got tough and walking away. A part of you needs to see this through and go all the way so that you can grow up, mature, move on and have the quality and depth in relationships that your soul desperately craves. So don't take the easy way out on this one. Go the distance, for better or worse, at least you tried.

Originally posted by NoClue:

Yes! I agree 100%. Get it out in the open. And yes, they're all your friends..CG included. You missed your birthday party on purpose, who does that? --suicidal people do that! They're worried about you.

Originally posted by NoClue:

I would avoid making up arbitrary rules of how things are going to be for no good reason and without any outside input. Don't spend too much time assuming what others are going to think and feel. "When all this is over, I'm just going to stay away"...well what for? I think if you asked them, they wouldn't like that idea. They'd think it rude.

And finally....
Originally posted by NoClue:

::uts on the "Sometimes I wish you were gay" t-shirt::::
Well I think you know my stance on this. You know what? Just text message it. Perfectly okay to wuss a little bit and do this by text message. I don't care what anyone says. This is some scary shit. You probably won't get the answer you're looking for, its going to be awkward...so yeah ...just text him. Smooth things over a bit, then meet up and talk a while. Have a beer, just you and him.

The main thing here is get that block out of yer head thats stopping you from doing this and really give him a chance to love you the best he can. Gay or straight.

I mean, you've been out of the closet for years now. You've had a long term relationship. You've dated. You're not completely naive when it comes to these things. Its just a matter of knocking out whatever is stopping you from talking to him. With your experience, you know that you're not going to get your ideal answer unless Corey is completely off his meds. You being able to squeak out a quiet, "I Love You" and him turning around and saying, "I've waited for the longest time to hear you say that, I love you too." It just isn't real.

But regardless, he does love you and care for you a great deal as a friend. So give him a real chance to do that honestly and as best he can. And love him back. You guys are in too deep to keep this a one-sided fantasy affair. Enjoy it for what it is. I think you'll be surprised at just how rewarding it can be even if its not what you expect it to be.

ROCK ON
SCANNER

 

Amazing story, I just started today and I've been reading it for the past 3 hrs! However it's past my bed time, I will catch-up tomorrow. A part of me is glad to see that this type of thread is recent and not from years ago, but another part is sad to know that I skipped to the last page and no move has been made as of yet!

Night!

 

Hello NoClue I loved your thread ever since I read it. I love the flirtyness.

 

I feel like you are feeling like this because, as you mentioned a bit earlier, Corey and CG seem to be getting serious with each other...what with her popping up in almost all of your social circles and what not- the idea of him breaking things off with her seems to dwindle less and less and maybe that's upsetting you because the realization that things may never go your way is beginning to dawn on you... The idea of her even becoming a permanent fixture in all future interactions with Corey...Those are just some of my thoughts. Have you talked to Corey about maybe just spending some quality time together just you two? I feel like each time you post an update, CG is either there, or Amy is either there as well- it feels as if it's been awhile since it was just you two hanging out together...

Hope things get better and I hope you are hurting less...

 

NoClue, I'm sorry that you're feeling this way. I don't think CG would plant a bug in Corey's ear. I do ship you guys together.

 

I have read and followed your entire thread and finally I feel the need to step in and offer up my opinion. I think you are a terrible friend. You are self entitled (irrationally so) and terribly selfish. You have said that you didn't have the best childhood and aren't close to your parents, but you can't just use that as an excuse for all your character flaws. You love this guy, that sucks and I know what it feels like, but you act as if he owes you something when he doesn't. He sounds like a really great friend who is in a relationship with someone else so you resent him and are sabotaging your friendship. You have stated multiple times through this thread that you are prepared to and will willingly drop him and cease all contact with him if he does something that you don't like. Real friends don't do that, if you have a problem or issue you talk about it and resolve it like normal adults. You don't deserve him as a friend... pull your head in or he may just do what you were so willing to do to him, if he hasn't already that is... you sound like a sociopath.

 

I'm sorry for what is happening to you. I hope you will be able to get back "together".
You know... that phone that you use to text, it still has a "phone" function also! Sometimes speaking directly with someone is better than just texting...
I hope things will go well with him tomorrow!