What Are You Thinking?

Those both would have been useful today. I feel like I just walked a mile through the devil's asshole.(Excuse my language, but its so hot I'm delirious) Why was is so hot today? I used to love the summer when I was younger, but now its just become an unforgiving annual punishment. It's been like 3 hours and I still feel dirty ~_~.

 

I read a few threads on here that reminded me of how lonely I am. Time to pull out the cello rock and wind symphony music...

...except the sound card is acting up again.

I guess I'll go back to doing homework, then.

 

Right now, more than anything in the world, I want a hug. A hug, and someone to watch The Matrix with me. That's all. It sounds so stupid but it would mean the world to me right now.

 

I never realized how much Kris Jenner looks like the doll that Tiffany's soul gets transferred into from Bride of Chucky...

 

So... my car won't start because my anti-theft system has locked up the engine. Wonderful. Just wonderful.

I also missed both of my classes today because a power surge messed up my alarm.

It's been a great day...

 

I'm thinking that I should probably study for my Year 11 Preliminary Exams.
A+ In procrastination.

 

I am so unmotivated this semester, but I got some school stuff accomplished today. I got my student ID, and I'm actually pretty satisfied with my picture. Comparing it to last year's, I can definitely see the huge weight difference, and I also look a lot more masculine. Plus, the quality of the card has improved so much. I also just brought myself to re-write, organise, and study my Spanish notes before class Thursday night. Now let's see if coming out to my prof wasn't all in vain.

 

I had my best ever experience at my university's LGBT club yesterday. Instead of clamming up and forgetting how to speak, I actually met some cool people and made new friends, and submitted an application to volunteer!

 

The gym at my uni is £110 for a years membership. I think I'll join, but I'll probably just end up too shy/anxious to ever actually go.

 

Nice Alex... getting your name and face out there is the first step

 

Faith in humanity at an all time low at the moment.

 

I've been having a really emotional day today. I got to school this morning and as soon as I parked my car I had a breakdown and I literally sobbed for my mom. Her diagnosis cut me really deep for the first time today. She's have a double mastectomy on the 24th and I have to decide if I want to go with her to the surgery or not. And then at some point down the line after she's recovered she's going to get implants.

I cried for maybe 15 minutes and then I sort of pulled myself together enough to go take my Spanish exam, but I was really shaky and my handwriting was all over the place. My mom came into my room last night and she had obviously been crying about it and she was like, "I wish I had a positive attitude about it like you and Chase." Chase is my brother. So, I feel like I have to stay strong for her and that's really hard but I'll manage somehow I guess.

 

I'm thinking someone should inbox me coz I want a conversation with someone nice

 

3 Aunts, one cousin, all of my friends, who should I tell next???
*Makes intense thinking face*

 

Tell ALL the people! (j/k, tell whoever you feel like telling, whenever you feel like you wanna tell someone, don't rush things )

*ahem*

My TA for my lab was really, really cute. Like cute in a nerdy yet intelligent yet athletic way. And I don't know if my gaydar is worth anything, but I feel like I got vibes off of him. Downside? This lab report is gonna be a mofo to write.

The transition from 2-week long, 5-person lab reports to 1-week, single-person lab reports in this new course is really balls.

 

I've wanted to do something with my hair for a few months now, but I can't quite decide what. I know I want it shorter than it currently is. Right now I'm leaning toward a little above my shoulders. However, I like how I look when I pull my hair back in such a way that from the front it looks like I have extremely short hair, if that makes any sense.

Maybe I should take my roommate's advice and just go get it cut. I told her I wanted to wait until I had a better idea of what I wanted to do with it. She responded by pointing out that I'll probably never actually do it if I wait. She's probably right.

 

It's technically wrong of me to extend this logic to anyone else, but the fact that every male, cute, nerdy yet athletic lab professor I've had I thought was gay - makes me think it was more me finding them highly attractive than their actually being gay. But hopefully it's just me; or better yet, they were all gay .

 

I've gotten bored with Sim City rather quickly and have started throwing meteors and giant robots everywhere.

 

Oh, I defs had that thought too, I'm probably just justifying it in my head that somehow he's gay.

But let's be serious, I'm never actually going to approach him or anything, so I'm quite okay with wishful thinking

 

Why does my stomach always need to hurt on the night I have class and need to bind? Oh well, at least with my hoodie, I can do a looser bind than last week's.