Corrupt A Wish

Granted, but instead, you have prolonged blackouts, even after one drink.

I wish all smart phones weighed 50 pounds.

 

Granted, but you must carry at least 3 on your person at all times.

I wish I HAD THE POWER!

 

Granted, you have THE POWER, but you lack THE WISDOM to use it properly.

I wish I could return to being 20 again, but with all the knowledge and experience I have now.

 

Granted, but you still make the same mistakes because your young mind that followed tells you to do more stupid stuff.

I wish I had better looks.

 

Granted, but youre so good looking you intimidate everyone forever and die alone.

I wish I had two right hands..................

 

Granted, but because of perspective issues, everyone agrues weather it is left or right, and question why you wished for it in the first place.

I wish I had the ability to travel through time.

 

Granted, you now can travel foward in time, just like you always do, just like everyone does.

I wish I could get to the front of the line on the disneyland rides

 

Granted, but it is only at the teacups. (WHAT!? I LIKE THE TEACUPS!)

I wish that i could solver world hunger.

 

Granted, now everyone is dead, so no one is hungry.

I wish I could read peoples fortunes

 

Granted, now you become the almighty fortune teller for all of China and Russia.

I wish I had a banana.

 

Granted, but everyone sues you because you ruined their lives.

I wish I could find a way to kill Sarah Conner.

 

Granted. You do, but never have the time to actually follow through with it.

I still wish I had a banana.

 

Granted, you have a banana emoji.

I wish I could speak Chinese.

 

Granted. Someone else eats it.

Granted. You find a way, but then get thwarted and sent to jail

 

Granted! You speak so much Chinese that everyone thinks you're chinese and you'll never ever ever ever be able to speak another language again.

I now wish for space for my printer.

 

Granted. Its a rotten banana that just falls apart when you hold it.

I wish I could see things from miles away

 

Granted, but it spoiled just before you ate it and it kills you.

I wish I knew what I was doing for dinner.

 

Granted. But there's a truck in front of OH MY GOD!!!

Granted. But you never actually eat your dinner because you're so busy doing things.

Still wishing for space for my printer.

 

Granted you find the perfet space in the backyard. Too bad the sprinklers ome on tomorrow.

I wish I could navigate Disneyland with my eyes closed,including navigating around the peo[ple (well I can, except for the fact there are too many people)

 

Granted but now your eyes are always closed.

I wish I didn't have to read these stupid books for school.