Corrupt A Wish

Granted. You get a boyfriend, but it's Hannibal Lecter.

I wish for ownership of Hersheys.

 

YAY Hannibal
Do you think Mads Mikkelson (new hannibal) is good looking?

 

Granted, but fall into a pit of melted chocolate.

I wish I had VIP tickets to One Direction

 

Granted, but Zayn looses his voice and can't be there to sing.

I wish I had a guest role on New Girl

 

Granted. There's a blackout and the shows cancelled.

I wish I never got ill.

 

Granted, your immune system diminishes because it doesn't get used and then you get sick

I wish I had a pet snail.

 

Granted but you accidentally pour salt on it and it shrivels up *insert sad face*.

I wish I invented the light bulb.

 

granted, but you burn yourself really badly on the filament in the process of making it (sorry, sort of unoriginal...)

i wish the next season of orange is the new black would air sooner.

 

Granted; but in Japanese

I wish Maggie grew up in the Simpsons

 

Granted, she still can't talk though... #foreversilent =(.

I wish I was on holiday right now.

 

Granted, but it's with the Taliban and the Muslim Brotherhood. They want you for dinner.

I wish my siblings would stop prying into my privacy.

 

granted but then your parents start prying in.

I wish I could meet Anne Rice

 

Granted, but she ends up hating you and forbids you to buy her books.

I wish my old treadmill worked.

 

Granted. Now it's stuck on the highest setting possible. You know, the one where you can't run nearly fast enough, so every time you step on it, you slip and give yourself treadmill burns.

I wish this typography was finished.

 

Granted. But it come out wrong.

I wish I could get out of my writers block.

 

Granded, You move far away from your "writer".

I wish I wasn't such a Narcissist.

 

Granted. You are now an existential nihilistic sociopath.

I wish I could buy japanese music without shipping fees all the time >.<

 

Granted, but they raise the prices $10.

I wish I didn't work tomorrow.

 

Granted. You now work right now, have a doctor's appointment tomorrow, and work literally right afterwards. Pronto.

I wish I wasn't so sleepy.

 

Granted. You now have a tiny demon who tasers your crotch anytime you start to drift off. Forever.

I wish I had a steady income.