Corrupt A Wish

Granted. She eats you.

I wish I hadn't just done something stupid.

 

Granted, but you do something stupider later on.

I wish I could fly.

 

Granted, you fly into the sun. Oops.

I wish my best friend liked me romantically.

 

Granted, it begins romantically It turns into clinginess, then obsession, then downright stalker leaving you with no privacy.

I wish I had a new computer.

 

Granted. Your home burns down and only the computer remains, you either have to sell it, or starve... *heh im evil*

I wish I could understand every language, verbal and non-verbal.

 

Granted, but you can no longer hear or read...

I wish I could be in a cartoon.

 

Granted, it's a cartoon that causes great controversy, therefore your reputation is tarnished.

I wish it would stop raining for now.

 

Granted, all the plants die.

I wish I could fall asleep, and wake up in two months time, in time for my surgery.

 

Granted, but you are unable to sleep through your surgery.

I wish I could lucid dream on command.

 

(thats alright, I'll be under anaesthetic. I won't need to sleep)

Granted, but you're psychologically scarred by the dreams.

I wish I could think of a wish

 

Granted, you do, and that's all you can ever think about.

I wish it weren't so humid outside.

 

Granted, all the water vapor disappears and you shrivel up like a prune.

I wish I could trust people more easily.

 

Granted! But you trust them far too much, and end up getting kidnapped,and being sold into slavery in Shanghai, where you are forced to work long hours in a fish-processing plant, lacking ventilation.

I wish I had my own bowling alley.

 

Granted but u r forced to be one of the pins

I wish my room was clean

 

You room is clean but you have to pay a maid to constantly clean it and they charge one million dollars a day.

I wish I had the power to be invisible

 

Granted but, you can never become visible again and anyone you talk to commit suicide because they go insane thus you are forever alone. (maybe a bit to morbid)

I wish I could talk to animals.

 

Granted but you don't realize that it's animals talking to you and you are taken to 10000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 different psychiatrists because you are hearing "voices"


I wish i could marry Amy pond

 

Granted but she makes you have a threesome with Rory *shudder*

I wish I was a character in Glee.

 

Granted, but the show gets cancelled.

I wish I was Batman.

 

You turn into batwoman.

I wish I was expert at twerking.