Corrupt A Wish

Granted, but you can't make any drink at all.

I wish my mum would go back to spain.

 

Granted, she does...she goes to the Canary Islands and never leaves from it.

I wish I were more awake.

 

Perfect. I truly couldn't wish for anything more.

Granted, you are unable to blink.

I wish my ear would stop hurting.

 

Granted, it stops hurting. Now your neck starts hurting.

I wish my friends would arrive on time.

 

Granted, but you're not home when they do.

I wish the next 2 months, 2 weeks, and 5 days would just PASS already XD

 

Me too. Me because I'm getting surgery in a couple of months. Why you?

Granted, but you don't remember them, and something very important happens, and no one will tell you what it was.

I wish I could have surgery tomorrow.

 

Granted, but the surgeons are all blind.

I wish all my feelings would evaporate.

 

Granted, you go on a mass murderous ramage and get locked in a mental institution.

I wish I had more posters to decorate my bedroom with

 

Granted, but they are all pictures of Arya Stark stabbing things.


I wish I didn't have to go to a new school and leave my friends.

 

Granted, you stay, but they all leave instead.

I wish I could time travel.

 

Granted - unfortunately you travelled back to Italy during the time of the plague.

I wish I had a new car.

 

Granted! Brand new, shiny car!

It has no tires, license plate, headlights, seats or working ignition.

I wish I could find my passport

 

Granted! Next stop, Syria.

I wish I lived in a vast waterpark.

 

Granted, but your bed is underwater.

I wish my diet was over

 

granted. You instantly age 30 years however.

I wish for a battleship.

 

Granted, but it's a small plastic one, used in the game.

I wish Death Valley was filled with lime Jello.

 

Granted, but you suffocate in it.

I wish I wasn't the only gay person in my school.

 

Granted, there are tons of gay guys there.

I wish veggie meat replacements were cheaper.

 

I'd like that though. Just not to be the only one, you know?

Granted, but they taste so horrible you don't want to eat them.

I wish my bedroom would magically clean itself.

 

Granted. But it becomes so clean, it decides to throw out all your favorite personal belongings in the process. Yet it's very chic in the NYC minimalist kind of way.

I wish I was bouncing on a trampoline.