Am I too obsessed about wanting a boyfriend?

I actually feel the same way. I want someone to be there for me.. and someone to love.. you know.. and its like.. There's no one around where i live that's gay/bi that i know of. not any guys anyways. The girls are all not interested, so i gave up on that. I've cried several times cuz i just feel like extremely lonely, and it bothers me a lot. i feel sad, and i dont know what to do about it. I try to talk to peopel online but.. all they look for is sexual things (mostly showing myself which i will never do) and things that they'd do if we met, which im not ready for.. but i do feel like i want someone really badly to fill that empty space "/

I know how you feel, and i know how much it sucks. I'm here if you want to talk! (*hug*)

 

I feel ya. I'm 19 and have never held hands, let alone kissed or had a bf. But I do really enjoy my own company, and am comfortable being single. Sometimes I feel lonely, but eventually snap out of it. Dealing with the frustration of wanting a bf is frustrating (omg that was so deep). Try to appreciate being single and getting to know yourself

 

Yeah i know. There's like just a void in you, and you feel the need to fill it up, but its not easy at all "/ I see how nearly everyone i know is happy in a replationship, and im the single one gireving over my lonelyness. :icon_sad:

 

I get EXACTLY where you are coming from!!! And its definately frustrating when you see so many people everyday, especially your friends, in relationships!

 

hey
i totally get how u feel, and all the time feel it too, especially when around loads of couples and it feels like your the only single one and it is a pretty lonely feeling, tbh its not like there is some amazing solution to this problem, until you meet someone then you will probably continue to feel this way, all you can do is make the most of things, stay busy and try to take your mind off it, talk to mates, and eventually you will meet somebody, but then also be careful not to just rush into something for the sake of being in a relationship, but yeh i hope things work out, and i hope these replies help you to realize you are not the only one that feels this way

 

You are too obsessed with getting a boyfriend if you can no longer have fun being single and on your own. (not saying that you are, just providing an answer to the question)
Most everyone feels upset/sad cause they are single, but you have to live with it.
Also importantly, if you can't be happy and fun by yourself then you won't be attracting people who will want to be with you.
And you can't depend on someone else for you happiness.
So just make sure this doesn't bring you down and soon enough you might find someone to fill that 'void'.

 

I feel the freaking same way but I guess everyone said what I wanted to say .... >
It just suck, and I cannot stand these "You are too young" too ... This is so stupid...

Anyways... It's life but life just sucks sometimes....... u___u

 

I won't say "you're too young". People find boyfriends at your age or younger. And real honest-to-God ones, too. Instead, I'll say "you're putting the cart in front of the horse".

Having a heart-to-heart boyfriend kicks ass - no question about it. But having one is an effect rather than a cause. You can't walk around with your arm around an invisible guy and wear a T-shirt reading "insert boyfriend here". Because good, strong relationships aren't found. They're built.

This may sound unromantic, but there's a LOT of work into making a relationship work. It's not just a matter of bumping into the right guy, hearing the violins swell, and falling into each other's arms. Say you find Prince Charming, and he takes you back to the castle for a night of the serious snugglebunnies. If this were a movie, we'd fade to black, and that'd be the end. But life goes on. And then it comes time to start working on the relationship. Starting immediately.

What if his blankets are too warm?
What if he sleeps with the windows closed, and you've always slept with them open?
What if he snores? Loudly?
What if you want to fall asleep in his arms, but he finds he can't sleep like that?
What if he likes to get up at butt-crack:30, and you like to sleep in?

...you're already running into reality, and it ain't even the morning after yet. And that's precisely WHY they fade out when they do. Because it's easier and nicer just to think that everything will work out, that they'll live in forever-bliss henceforth. But reality doesn't fade out. Instead, you have to start working on the relationship. You have to start compromising, and working things out, and talking things out, and all the boring stuff they don't bother showing in movies. But this is the crap that forms and creates the foundation that the relationship is built on. Just like the boring grey concrete forms the foundation that the amazingly beautiful house is built on. No, it's not much to look at, but it's damned important.

Relationships ARE work. They're worthwhile work, certainly, but they're work nonetheless. And the more you click with your boyfriend, the easier (and more enjoyable) the work can be. But that doesn't mean everything takes care of itself. Just like a house, it'll go to pot if you just let it sit there. You have to keep painting it, fortifying it, strengthening it. And that's why people who are in longterm, solid relationships are so proud of them. They didn't just hit the lottery by lucking out and finding the right person. They found a great person, rolled up their sleeves, and did the work to create and maintain their relationship. And they have every right to be proud of their work.

So what do I suggest? Move the "amazing relationship" thing to a long-term goal. It's an admirable one, to be sure, but it's a later result. Much like if your goal is to "retire on a tropical island", your earlier goal should be "getting a well-paying job", and your even earlier goal should be "getting the education that enables you to get a well-paying job". Your earlier goal should be "working on relationships". Not just your eventually mate, but all of them. What makes a good relationship? How does a friend help a friend? How do you keep friendships strong? Thinking about these things, and working towards them in everyday life, will not only make your current friendships and relationships strong, but when Mr Right comes along, you'll be ready. You won't have to try to get it right the first time, because you'll already have a good idea how it's done.

Also, keep your mind and options open. It's VERY easy to fall into the trap of fantasizing about an ideal boyfriend. And quite often, that ideal boyfriend looks a perfect way. He's got that perfect hairdo, the perfect smile, killer abs, and likes the exact same things you like. And there's nothing wrong with fantasizing about such a guy, but don't fixate on him. Because he ain't out there. And you might start passing over guys with whom you could have fantastic relationships because they don't measure up. I mean, fantasy guy didn't wear glasses, so this ain't him, right? And how can this guy be the right one? He's in a wheelchair and doesn't play WoW.

Don't be too quick to say no. Keep an open mind. Say hi, chat a bit, see what happens. Your personalities might not click, and that's fine. You gave it a go. You rejected him not because of his glasses but because you two didn't really click. Stay friendly, stay social, and eventually a good one will come along.

Lex

 

Dude I know how u feel. The phrase " it's better to have love and lost thanto nvr have loved at all" come into play. The saddest part is that I don't even no what it feels like. U watch ppl together especially the straight ppl. And u wonder wouldn't just be easier but as u say I'm not he good with the ladies either so I haven't even known if I'd like them. All I've eve had was crushes on ppl who may or may not like me. The what if is killing me. I know i might be a bit obsessed with ha ing a bf too but we are of that age where we need to fill that void. It hurts like hell but the reality is we justnhave to get out the and be ourselves. Be cautious and someone will find us. That just takes to long though. Oh by the way u are good looking and don't let anybody tell u otherwise espeically the ladies. The ones that are interested in u might not be the most obvious or the ones ur looking at. So try not to close ur mind off and open up to more ppl. Sometime we confuse lust for love, and are attracted to the hot ppl, when it's the cute one we that loveus and we will end up with like urself.

 

In 17 days, I will be turning 19. I've had a couple online boyfriends, and was 'involved' with a guy from school, with whom I never even got to have a full face-to-face conversation. I've never held hands with a guy, or any other number of things, and I feel lonely. Constantly.

Here's the thing. Like most other people - I would like a boyfriend. I would love one, especially if we were to be actually in love. In my opinion, it doesn't have to last forever. I just want it to be real while it does last.

Finding a guy you are compatible with isn't necessarily the easiest things to do, but there are thousands of ways it can happen. Not being out does make it harder, but it's not necessarily impossible.

I'm sorry that I don't have much advice to give, as I don't have much experience in the way of obtaining a boyfriend myself. But one thing I have noticed if you have some friends you are really close to (and can even cuddle) then that sometimes lessens the loneliness. Though admittedly, when you are a guy finding 'just friends' who will let you cuddle them is a tad bit difficult. >.<

Sorry. This wasn't quite as helpful as I'd hoped I could be, I guess it's because I'm in the same situation. Hope things start looking up for you though <3

 

Yes you are. Keep in mind that YOUR perceptions that everyone else is hooked up and happy does not reflect reality. More often than not its "hollywood." Cheer up. People like to be around people who seem (appear) happy, content and .. .. ... can I say "Gay"!

 

I'm 22 and i've never kissed a guy. Dispite bieng young you can bet the years are going to go by fast. Yes having a boyfriend is a really worthwile goal.

Good as your friends are you don't wake up in their arms in the morning, or make pillow talk before you sleep, or any number of other things

I'm still at home 'cause I'm petrified of bieng alone if I move out and that is really holding me back. It's what prompted me to come out at 21 but even then it's been far from plain sailing

Having a boyfriend will make things alot easyer for you. If not the depression will never go away and trust me it gets harder as you get older.

Good luck mate

 

well, yeah i get this too. lately it has really got to me, badly. i think that if i have a boyfriend, then fear, anger and sadness will go away. well they still might be there, but if i have someone i wont care about these emotions as much. this might be me being deluded. i just think that different people have things that they put time and effort into, be this work, materialism, religion, hobbies, or something else, and as long as they have this then nothing else matters to this degree. and for me having a boyfriend is a crucial part of my life. at the moment my single life is depressing me a lot. i would feel complete if i had someone. whilst i wouldnt want them to 'define' me, i would love to have someone that i can share life with, in the way of a relationship. friendship is one of the only things which is as important as this.
so what i would say is focus upon building friendships and lots of them, and you will get there in the end. this is what has kept me going anyway.

 

I know EXACLTY what you mean. I talk to so many guys online, and all they want is sex, even people who are younger than me. Then they won't leave me alone once i tell them im not interested in that, so they keep trying to convince me. Eventually i just ignore them. I guess as time goes on people begin to think that's more important. They don't realize that the main thing in any relationship is love and comunication. Yes sex does play a part, but not a big noe, and its not like you can't live without it. I dont understand why they fail to not pressure you. If its something you're not ready for then they should realize it and understand you. It bothers me when ppl only want sex :/

 

I want a boyfriend but I don't need him, I need more materialistic things before him. I do think about having one, like the type in "Love Story" by Taylor.

And Zac Efron has to be at least bisexual, looks like a flaming gay if I ever saw one. He's okay looking, no comparison to Brad Pitt. I think he's going to be ugly after 30.

 

Gosh, i cant even get that!!! I live in an isolated area, the only gay in the village, etc, etc

And its amazingly frustrating! Right now, i *do* really want to experiment sexually with guys. Ive never done anything like that, dont know what it feels like etc. And im not exactly unattractive. I think some guys just have stronger urges or sex hormones than others.

As far as a bf goes, sure, it would be great. Love and communication is waay more important than sex. But im willing to wait. In the mean time, im just trying to make some close friends to share experiences and feelings with, and who understand me.