Training Gaydar

Same here XD

 

I have only girls as friends, guys make me feel uncomfortable and most of them (at least in my school) dont want to be friends with me because they think I'm gay, or just really messed up, or both.

How can you tell that they are giving you prolonged eye contact without staring at them? I havent come out at school and I dont want to raise questions or make people feel uncomfortable by staring at them. In my history class I do stare at the back of this one guy's head and every time he turns around or moves I avert my gaze and pretend to be looking at something else. He hasnt told me that Im being creepy so he either hasnt caught me, which I doubt, or he doesnt care. hmmmm. haha

 

They say that being left-handed or having older brothers increases a person's chances of being gay. I am both left-handed and the youngest of five, three older brothers! I occasionally stand with one hip to the side, but I usually stop because it's not good for your hip to put more pressure on one over the other. My brother stands like that, I wonder...

 

Not much about appearance. I'm well kept but not fashionable by any stretch. I love design though, photography is huge of course, Im addicted to project runway, i love being dramatic . I love music and singing, and I have the world's straightest voice.

 

I don't know if anyone's gaydar would be set off by my presence or how I carry myself. I don't like shopping for the sake of shopping, although I'm not a sloppy dresser and like to buy nice clothes. I'm not effeminate, I don't talk with my hands (ie- palm-down gestures), I'm not into acting or musicals (although I did act in few in middle and high school), I hang out mostly with guys; in short, I tend to carry myself like a straight guy- that's just how I normally behave. As a previous poster said, I think people might start to suspect something by the things that I don't do, like not turning and looking when a hot women walks by, or not talking about how such and such a woman in my class is sooo hot. I'm not saying that people who come off as more "typically" gay are bad- LGBT people are so very diverse, and I value that diversity very much. By just being myself, and not trying to conform to a stereotype, I hope I can shatter some people's preconceived notions of gay people. I feel like I'm living proof of the diversity that exists within the LGBT community.

As for my own gaydar, I wish I could have more opportunities to actually validate how accurate it is- bummer.:rolleyes:

 

So what's the consensus? Is gaydar acquired or is it one of those traits that you either have or you don't?

 

I think gaydar has a lot to do with your personality. Mine does not work well because I usually don't much attention to peoples mannerisms.

Conversely I always know all of the big announcements at work before everyone. When listening to people talk I usually read between the lines so to say. It is just amazing the amount of stuff people will let slip without even knowing it.

 

basically for me it all depends if I'm around my girl friends than yeah I can put off a maybe he is gay vibe, but than they think nah couldn't be. So luckily 80 to 90% of the time no one thinks I am which I guess is good, except I go after the guys like that too which is bad. Anyways if they looked at my zune they'd say yup he's gay lol
but my gaydar is okay most times and has a 90% accuracy when it comes to femme guys lol

 

Actually no one has ever picked up the fact I was gay. new friends old friends were absolutely clueless. When I came out to my friend, he said "no way, you can't be gay" I then have to ask him how many girls have you seen me with?? usually that trips it but I usually have to spell it out. Actually my friend said you are the straightest gay ever. But with me to tell is I hug ALOT say 'dear' or 'fab' alot as well.

Gaydar is a thing you have or don't have, unfortunaltely I dont have it. I always have a fear of getting it wrong so that holds me back too much

 

I think my gaydar is actually pretty good, and I feel like it's been getting better the more I come out of the closet haha

 

Joey's comment sure resonates with me. The comment regarding the split second assessment "I'd do that guy" I do that all the time, and I mean ALL the time. Guess I need to hone my skills at recognizing that others do the same. One angle on it though might be age. It seems that there are a lot of gays I encounter who are HS age. Being over 40 I don't think they pay one shred of energy assessing me, and rightly so. The point is I guess there is an age-relation-dimension to the assessment angle on gadaritry. I'd love to hear some feedback on this from others.

 

Most people think I am straight, I don't tend to trip gaydars until people actually talk to me and get to know me (unless I've got my gay pride flag with me anyway ).

I don't hide it though, and if gay-hating Christians come into conversation, I tend to jump right in with my surprising (to most) knowledge of the relevant parts of the Bible (most of which don't even condemn homosexuality, but I won't get into that right now)

 

I have short hair (but that seems to be all the rage nowadays)
I wear boxers at times
I always say when a girl is hot
My interested in for fb is suspiciously blank.......

 

I'm staright acting, but the lack of girlfriend and avoidance of talking about hot chicks and watching them walk past would be the giveaway. But the few guys that I get crushes on, its always the eyes/lingering extra looks. But I can't say for sure, because I guess if you don't actually get to make out, then its a moot point. But I certainly know that I look way more than I should, and stare into they eyes of guys I like more than ones I don't.

 

Well my friends said as a joke, they could hear me being gay, but couldn't see me being gay. (They don't know I'm gay ) So I guess the way I talk sets it off. I say 'like' a lot.

I think I gesture with my hands a lot when I'm talking.

Also, I'm in the school chorus. (!)

 

The more you come out of the closet the more you're willing to put your eyes out there and test with the eye contact method! I agree with some previous posters: you gotta get a feel for the vibe between you and determine if you're looked at with a bit of added interest or not.

Of course the more obvious indicators work too.

I'm a school photographer so I do some pretty personal people watching as my full time job. I love trying to pick out the gay kids and I think I'm pretty good at it. I've stopped discussing it first though, as that bit me once: I was getting along great with this guy who was totally into musical theater and his pictures and appearance and toward the end of our session I said "I'm gay too!"....... the awkward silence was deafening! haha Unfortunately they don't all know it yet!

As for me, I wear a silver ring of a (tasteful) nude woman, have a rainbow keychain, a Human Rights sticker on my car, and I'm out on facebook and to anyone who knows me. Other than that and flirty eye contact, I come off pretty straight & femme. I would like to be more out to the gay kids I photograph without it coming up in conversation but my lack of daily rainbow wear allows me to better flirt a smile out of the guys, I bet. I might feel more skeevy photographing the hot girls if I was obvious, too. heh

 

Gadarity. haha Nice.

Sure, you can't expect people way younger to have the same level of sexual interest as your peers, but they might still have an interest in determining if you're gay like them. I'm pretty sure I would give more interest to a gay older lady than a straight older lady if two strangers were at my dog park, for example.

I might have a hard time answering this question from your perspective, though, since I appear straight. I think coming off as gay to begin with helps a lot in getting questioning or flirty eye contact from other gay people. I think looking gay improves gaydar.

When photographing high schoolers I give extra attention to every student to make them smile, so I rely on their appearance, posture, speech and interests more than eye contact.

 

My best friend told me that when I go to college, I have to be careful that girls don't think I'm flirting with them when I'm nice to them. She doesn't think that it's obvious that I'm gay, and I've had a few girls think that I was flirting with them. On the other hand, I've been told that I sound and act gay, and I was also picked on for being gay before I knew what it meant.

 

Man, I dunno. When I came out to my best friend, she said, "HA! I knew [my youngest, presumably straight brother] was going to be the normal one!" Yet when someone flat out asked me if I was gay (and I was still in denial enough at the time to say 'no'), she said, "Yeah, I got that sense from you." So I get mixed results. It seems like the people who know me best were the ones that kinda expected it, though. Which, I suppose, means that I'm not terribly obvious to people who have just met me.

I'd hope that if anyone was paying attention, they'd pick up on it. I always tend to nod politely when my friends go on about X hot celebrity guy (unless it's someone like David Tennant, in which case I'll join them in gushing), and kind of bite my lip and smile when guys talk about X hot actress (I swear, I was bursting at the seams when Kate Beckinsale came up. SO HOT AGH <3 <3). I haven't used the word "boyfriend" or "husband" when referring to future plans in years, I always say "I hope I meet someone nice" instead of "I hope I meet a nice guy." I don't really flirt with guys either, unless I am absolutely certain they'll know I'm joking.

But overall, I guess I don't fit what most people expect out of a queer girl, or something. I mean, I look at me, and I don't think "Wow, I look like a stereotypical lesbian." (Well, unless it's this picture or something, haha.) I'm not particularly masculine or anything, I guess. I'm pretty damn chirpy, I wear girly clothes, I'll wear makeup (to even out my skin tone, mostly), I giggle. I have a few tomboyish mannerisms, but overall, I'm pretty feminine.

And since nobody ever seems to guess (unless they've known me long enough to ask "why doesn't she have a boyfriend yet?") I have taken to wearing a cute little rainbow bracelet that one of my friends made for me, hehe. I have a few rainbow necklaces too (one of them's a star and is slightly more subtle, and the other's a dogtag with a rainbow on it). I figure little cues like that will make it a wee bit more obvious. ;P

 

I like Madonna

That's it (I don't tell anyone)