Corrupt A Wish

Granted. You now have dominion over a small dark room.

I wish I was the CEO of a huge international company. To Switzerland!

 

Granted you are now CEO of a huge international company, in Switzerland, but you should have been more specific...cuckoo clocks...just sayin'

I wish the internet was free...

 

Granted, additionally electricity is now $30/hour.

I wish I wasn't depressed.

 

Granted.
Although that means you'll be the only one in funerals smiling your ass off because you can't be sad or depressed anymore.

I wish whatever I touched was not what I want to have.

 

Granted; you have no hands now.

I wish I won the lottery.

 

Granted, but now there's no funding left for schools.

I wish I didn't have wide feet. :dry:

 

Granted, but now your feet fit loosely to ANY shoe. :lol:

I wish I had more self-control over my eating.

 

Granted but it went overboard and you weigh so little that you have floated away....

I wish I had my own personal submarine....

 

Granted but while you were underneath the water I shark decided to come and attack your submarine.

I wish I didn't/wouldn't (?) need to go shopping today. :lol:

 

Granted. A friend offers to get the stuff you need so you don't have to go out. A few hours later you turn on the TV and there's breaking news. There was a huge robbery and you have a funeral speech to prepare.

I wish I had a tail.

 

Granted

But it keeps getting in the way of EVERYTHING!

I wish I was the smartest person on Earth (and whoever lived there lives and died counts too!)

P.S: @DarkClarity, my "phons" was supposed to be "phone's." LOL

 

Done. Unfortunately your massive intellect drives you insane and you spend the rest of your days making plastic birdhouses and eating with a spoon.

I wish I had pie.

 

Granted, but your friend comes in and takes it away, right before your eyes.

I wish I was happy and loved my life.

 

Granted, but you get hit by a bus.

I wish I could clap at 100mph.

 

Granted however the bones in your hands shatter.

I wish I could see the future.

 

Granted, however you lose the ability to see the present and are forever lost out of time.

I wish I was better at math.

 

Granted, and you are so good that you have managed to predict with absolute certainty that our galaxy will collapse into a singularity within your lifetime

I wish I could have some Kentucky Fried Chicken...

 

Granted. You get a whole chicken, Kentucky fried style.

I wish I had a driver's licence.

 

Granted but it's only valid in Tuktoyaktuk (google it!)

I wish Brokeback Mountain was a real place...

 

Granted, unfortunately it has been taken over by religious radicals that use it as a concentration camp for gays.

I wish I was Superman.