Corrupt A Wish

Granted, you wished for everything in the palm of your hand, thus making a black hole and collapsing the universe in eternal darkness. Great job.

I wish that I pass all my tests (!)

 

You tested positive on all of your tests. Unfortunately they were for disease. I'm sorry.

I wish that I had a dog.

 

You did. But he got eated by a lion.

I wish high school was actually like Mean Girls.

 

Wish granted, but it will never listen to a word you say and will poop on every carpet in sight.

I wish to be caught up in schoolwork.

 

Granted. You will now live the rest of your life in a school with 2000 Mean girls.

I wish that homework never existed.

 

Granted. You now have twenty take-home tests every day.

I wish it wasn't so cold here.

 

Granted you are now in the Sahara Desert

I wish I could replay this morning

 

Granted. You are now in an infinite loop of this morning.

I wish I could figure out what to do for housing next year!

 

Granted. But you have to share with an 77 year old lady who snores extremely loud. Also, she's a nudist. Enjoy.

I wish I had £1Billion.

 

Granted, but due to inflation, that is now a worthless sum of money.

I wish my car weren't a worthless piece pf junk.

 

Granted. You now have a gold plated Ferrari. But you can't afford the insurance.

I wish life didn't keep trying to trip me up...

 

Granted, but now you keep trying to trip yourself up.

I wish he knew how I feel about him.

 

Granted. But he turns out to be a cybernetic agent from the future, who is obsessed with some woman called Sarah Connor.

I wish I could afford to book a trip away for a while.

 

Granted, but once you've spent the money, you get a call that there is an opening for you, but you have to start training right away.

I wish there were going to be a new Kill Bill movie. (stupid Tarantino, saying no)

 

They are, but it's going to be called "kill William" and it's only going to be English actors.

I wish winter was over

 

Granted, prepare for the hottest spring and summer of your life.

I wish the only guys I could date at my school weren't rich snobs that look down on me because I don't wear the latest threads from Abercrombie

 

Granted. Now they're desperate hobos who only want you for your money. How fun!

I wish my new roller skates didn't have to be so painful to break it.

 

Granted now you have a machine that totally destroys your skates with one touch of a button

I wish this apt is clean

 

Granted, your apartment is now clean. Every single material object inside it has vanished, leaving only bare floor and walls.

I wish my homework were easier.

 

Granted you are now back in first grade!

I wish i had a new car