Has anyone experienced an increase desire to explore their feminine side after they've accepted that they are gay? I'm not sure if if just a wave of repressed urges or what, but I find myself suddenly so much more interested in expressing myself in a more feminine way. I've read a lot of gay men take on affectations when they first some out as a signal of their own self acceptance. As anyone experienced this?
I can attest to this. As I came to acknowledge my same sex attraction and started to peel away layers and layers of toxic masculinity I found I wanted to express my more feminine side. It took various forms including taking more care of my body, more pampering, and more in touch with my emotions. I don’t believe that they are affectations but more a long buried desire to express more of our feminine sensibilities that culturally we had to hide for so long.
Honestly, I'd have to say no, but that has more to do with having always felt more comfortable with that feminine energy in myself. Mind you, I don't mean effeminate either. I'm not necessarily particularly in touch with my masculine energy or stereotypical masculine interests, but I am not some LGBT cliche in that respect. Maybe in some other respects, but not anything. If anything, I have just become more comfortable being myself, feminine energy and all.
I have seen men on the internet who wear nail polish, feminine clothing, jewelry, or makeup. I thought they looked really nice and would like to experience that myself someday. This was not a thought I had before I came out. Anything else that society deems as a feminine trait has been a part of my personality my entire life.
I also have thought of experimenting with the jewelry. I have a friend who makes a point to wearing very chunky bracelets and rings, it's very alluring.
I can say I have become increasingly feminine and I enjoy being this way as much as I love being gay. Hanging out wih mostly female friends has helped this side of me come out. Like wanting to sleep with men I was afraid to let people see me as being a little girly, but not anymore. To me it just feels natural to have some feminine traits while sharing the same sexual desire straight woman have. Emotionally and physically I want the same thing from a man that woman want. Now if people associate my feminine personality with the idea I am must be gay I don’t care because in my case it is very true and I have no desire to hide I am gay anymore. I have found this to be a bit of a turn off for some men but I can’t help it. It is who I am.
I can say I have , I've always been a muscular guy a real tough exterior but since I came out and exepted myself I have started exploring my feminine side
Yes, I totally realized I had the same desires as a straight woman when the idea of being ravished by a man became the biggest turn on I could think of.
I think a certain amount of suppression takes place when we are in the closet and coming out liberates us to be more expressive. We no longer have to "man up" or hide behind a facade. Whether that sense of liberation translates to exploring femininity is open to question. It's perhaps more likely that we are just free to be ourselves and some of us possess a natural inclination towards the more feminine side of life. Having said that, some gay men choose to lean very heavily into that side of their persona, once it's discovered (or rediscovered).
Thank you for that Patrick. Maybe the beauty of all this is our ability to experience so many shades of the human experience,
My feeling is that feminine traits and masculine traits are not necessarily based on being a man or a woman. To me it is more about what those definitions really mean. To me, being feminine means that we can tap that part of our psyche that allows us to be soft and nurturing. Being masculine, to me, means those traits in our personality that allow us to be protective…maybe a little aggressive…and maybe a little more apt to use our physical strength than emotional strength. To me, a well balanced man or woman is capable of drawing on these traits without worrying about them being interpreted by others as being a “sissy” or being “butch”. In the process of accepting my sexuality, I learned to let my guard down. I don’t worry if my actions are interpreted as being less masculine. That said, I’ve never even considered that my feelings towards another man define me as being more like a woman. It’s a case of biology vs emotion. Emotionally, I can love a man. But, that doesn’t mean I feel more like a woman.
I always projected the typical straight guy persona even if it wasn’t how I really felt inside. As I started to acknowledge and come out as gay I began to let my softer side develop. I found I enjoyed a more effeminate approach to my sexuality. Like others have said I started to like the idea of being taken by a man, it so erotic and sensual. I started to appreciate taking better care of my appearance, pampering myself, changing my wardrobe, getting a piercing and a sexy tattoo on my abs. It was all part of becoming comfortable with my feminine side.
Although I have a tough exterior I do have my much softer side . Being a piceses I am truly a romantic with a loving inside. Since coming out I do wear g strings and laced mens underwear. I also do like jewerly. I have many watches but do wear a leather color bracelet. I also wear my anklets when I wear my shorts in the summer.
That’s actually a really interesting question! I’ve only come out to myself as bisexual, but I do feel in some ways after really accepting myself fully a year ago, that part of my feminine side has come out. When I’m with others, I act normally as any guy in a masculine way, but when I’m alone, it’s a mixture of the two. I find that my mannerisms are more feminine at times, and more gentle and free-flowing. I think what I mostly notice is how I admire my body and take care of it too. A lot of it is loving myself and loving that I’m bisexual and that it feels great!
Yes. After I came out as a lesbian I felt comfortable to finally explore my own masculinity. I'm not out as a transmasc nonbinary lesbian. gender identity and gender expression are a wild ride!