Do you ever feel a little jealous of the younger LGBT generation?

No, because I think each and every era has had and has great difficulties. I think that the current LGBT generation has so much to deal with, too.

 

I do in some ways, but it is the proverbial "if I didn't go there, I wouldn't be here ". With the more open attitudes, especially in my family, I would have likely been able to come to grips with this, and not led the path I have. However, being my children's dad is by far the best thing that ever happened to me. Don't waste much time thinking about it, it's all hypothetical .

 

Frankly yes. If it had been this way when I was young I may have come out as bi a long time ago. At this point there is no reason to I’m sure my life would have been much different. Not necessarily better, but different

 

jealous? no, I find jealousy to be negative and try to avoid it. I do, however feel a little envy that they can be so open. not that it's all rainbows and unicorns of course, but so many don't think twice about living their truth and others find strength in others living openly.

 

During my high school hears, I had been suffering from depression for years. I had a very "devil may care" outlook on school, and other students seemed to think I was crazy.
I skipped school LOTS when I was in public school. But from 15-17 I was in a long term psych facility so I didn't have a lot of the traditional teenage experiences.
In hindsight, this was a blessing because I was such a wreck during these years. I was so depressed I really never expected I'd make it to 18.
It was during my time in the facility tho, that I had my first recognizable same sex crush. I still can recall just how effortless the feelings were that I had for him. Unfortunately he was straight, so nothing happened with that.
I never have really found myself jealous of the generation that is coming up now. However it does please me to see a lot more have the amount of strength and courage that I didn't have at that age.
But, just as Caraldo stated, having kids is the best thing to happen in my life so I never regret the path I took.

 

I don't think I'm jealous. Indeed, I'm glad things have changed so much.

But, at the same time, a part of me wishes that things had been different when I was growing up in the 80s.

Indeed, I have to wonder if my high school experience might have been different had I been born later. I never dated, for one thing, and don't really recall any interest in the idea. Dating would, of course, have meant dating a girl. But what if I'd understood that I'm gay, and it had been OK for two boys to date? (Then, again, I tended to be pretty socially isolated. So it's entirely possible I'd still have had zero dates. Maybe even zero dates, but with regrets that I wasn't able to get a boyfriend.)

Another thing I hate about the 80s is AIDS. The AIDS crisis was scary--it terrorized me. Indeed, I was so scared of AIDS that I don't think I'd even have jerked off with a friend during a sleepover, unless we were on opposite sides of the room. That terror still lingers on some level, which may be one reason that I have never had sex. What if I'd been born later, into a world where HIV was better understood, and had treatment options?

 

I’m a bit envious in some ways. I don’t feel like being gay was really publicized much in my conservative city. I never even considered the idea, and jumped into a traditional hetero marriage very quickly. I’m not sure it was the wrong thing to do — I feel more like I’m sexually fluid and my preferences have changed over time, but thinking about options while growing up might have been good. I had a number of very intense female friendships, was very jealous and possessive of some friends, and had painful “breakups” so I wonder if I was feeling something other than friendship. I don’t regret everything about my path, but sometimes I do feel envious of the current generation and all the resources and knowledge they have about sexuality.

 

This really hit home. I'm 46, and I wonder what the world as a teenager would have looked like to me without the AIDS crisis. In the rural community I grew up in, many proclaimed God was sending AIDS to rid the planet of the fags. Horrible time for me. I knew a kid who got it from a transfusion, died a terrible death. I remember feeling guilty, because I thought I was probably one of "them". Being a teenager is tumultuous for most, but it was torturous for me.

 

I’m the same age and it was a little different for me. I had done experiences when I was younger, so bisexuality was in the back of my mind, but I had buried it. I didn’t really think about it. If it had been more accepted I may have though. I’m pretty happy the way my life turned out, but it would have been different I’m sure

 

Neither envious nor jealous, these are fairly useless and negative emotions I would rather not indulge in.

Some of the older veterans actually feel sorry for the younger generation, that is, in their lament that the LGBTQ community (such as it is) is no longer what it once was. That indeed appears to be the case; the crucible of persecution that defined a generation, mine and those that preceded, no longer exists...but is that a bad thing? For some it means the loss of belonging to a cause and the solidarity with companions in the struggle. For others, however, it is a sign of normalization; a sign of victory...

I don't think we will ever be considered entirely normal; such is the fate of any minority. Insofar as we are normalized, this will likely be the normalization of an accepted and legitimate minority. Part of that status will likely result in a preservation of some kind of distinctness. I suspect that we will still keep "our" places where we can be most ourselves, and our LGBTQ institutions (LGBTQ Chambers of Commerce, for example) will likely remain and continue evolving. Moreover, we are still dealing with the healthcare burden that HIV-AIDS has forced upon us...all of this is fine by me.

Let no "tradition" impede the freedom we have gained to be ourselves, in whatever way that develops, both personally and as a community; that to me is the ultimate victory!

 

@Biguy45 I don't regret much how things turned out, but going back and remembering the agony I felt brings it back to me, the shame, fear, and guilt. Still, better to deal with what is, and not what we wish it had been. No time machines.

 

I agree. I didn’t really have the fear and guilt back then. That came later, but it’s gone now

 

Yeah I've thought about "what ifs". Though I'm not that old, the world is generally and significally more accepting now than when I was a kid or teen. When I was younger, "gay" wasn't a good thing or the butt of jokes. There was a lot of shame, shock, or scandal attached to it still. Most people who I knew were gay, were online, and still not in a positive context. No one was out and open really. Now that I think of it, my middle school friend came out in highschool but it was a "shock" and I heard it from my best friend (I no longer lived there but kept in contact with my one friend who would update me). I think it could have been very isolating if I had realized I was gay back then and there was not a lot of good information and resources. My younger years was the time frame the culture started to change and become accepting. That's when TV shows started to include and tried to normalize gay men and gay couples in reality TV and HGTV. I don't think I feel jealous of what younger generations have because even if the world at large accepted me, my family still wouldn't be accepting regardless of time and cultural changes. I would still be hiding, as I am now. Moreover, I get to share in the benefits of the current times now. Life is a lot better for LGBT+ now. I'm happy that I'm living in a time where I can be open and accepted. I'm happy that when I do finally come out, my friends will accept me and even defend me without shame.

I think it's okay if anyone here is feeling envy or even jealousy. Cause those are normal human emotions. Lingering on "what ifs" merely isn't helpful in enjoying life.

 

I went to school in the 80s. Let me assure you it would not have been a good idea to come out then. Not sure about physical abuse, but surely mental abuse I’m my school. Obviously, there were gay and bi kids there, including me, but you couldn’t act on it

 

My school years were 90's and early 00's. So it was better, but not that great. If I had stayed in California maybe it would be different but my high school years were in the south. It was an awkward time with both new and old attitudes.

 

I think another point of envy is that younger people seem to have often had more knowledge of sex and sexuality than was the case for my generation. Maybe I'm wrong--and I certainly know I was poorly informed even for my generation. For example, I was given the "where babies come from" talk at 12, but it was years before I had any idea that sex was but about reproduction. I suspect other kids had more information, but I'd bet it was nothing like today. And, of course, it would have been all about straight sexuality. Anything about gay people would have been limited, and (probably) anti-LGBT.

A funny example of this came to me not long after joining EC. At that time, I honestly wondered--and not for the first time--how there could be 13 year olds who "knew" they were gay? I'd long bought into the thought that you really couldn't know at 13. But being on EC (and posting quite a bit in those days) forced me to remember and think... And I recalled my early experiences of being in junior high, and seeing other boys my age nude in the school locker room. It was overwhelming at first--I remember running from the locker room the first time!--but I liked seeing them nude. As I thought about that experience nearly 30 years later, I realized my interest in my nude classmates when I was 12 years and 10 months old was a clear sign I'm gay--and if I'd had more information, I might have known (or at least suspected) I'm gay when I was 13.

(Although this locker room incident does remind me of one plus of that era--I was able to see boys my age nude. That's apparently not so common now--indeed, there have even been newspaper articles talking about increased sense of modesty among younger people of today.)

 

It’s funny that you mentioned locker rooms. I used to go to the gym and guys would always walk around naked in the locker room. At the time it annoyed me. I had my bisexuality so buried o didn’t even acknowledge it. If it happened now, I’m sure I would enjoy the view

 

I think the world today is quite a bit worse than it was when I was coming of age so I actually feel sympathy for the younger generation, whether gay or straight, due to their diminshed opportunities. And for all of the advances in gay rights, gay men are apparently an unhappy bunch. https://highline.huffingtonpost.com/articles/en/gay-loneliness/