Guys, I really need some ice cold shower here. Some time ago I really questioned my sexuality, went through a lot of soulsearching, analyzing, experimenting - the full circle. Since then I have fully accepted my bi nature and decided to focus on my existing relationships with a man, my husband. Everything has been good, I feel more confident and at peace and even happy, but then - booom - she came along!!!! I was totaly unprepared.. I teach at the university and she is in one of my classes. She just showed up last month and I immediately felt very strong connection between us. She is very smart, we have similar way of thinking. And she is very beautiful too. I can sense she feels the same way, we are indeed soulmates,but she is my student and 10 years younger. And I am married, for God's sake. There are no way anything could ever happen between us. We can't even be friends since I am her teacher. I just want to cry. I know I have to be the one who does the right thing here, but it is so damn difficult. I have never felt this way with anyone before. HELP.
One cold shower coming up. One do you love your husband? Two are you willing to give up your career for her? Three you say that you can sense that she feels the same way, are you sure? Four, she's 10 years younger. Five, could this just be a crush? Hope this helps.
You need to leave well alone, if you persue her or say anything inappropriate she could either blackmail you or complain or both, if she complans you'll be suspended then sacked and struck off.
This has bad news written all over it. In my opinion, even if you were willing to lose your career and your husband over this, you have a responsibility to act ethically with her because she is a student of yours. There is a reason for those rules - because you are in a position of power over her. The chances of this working out successfully are extremely slim, so you would be putting a lot at risk for something that has little chance of succeeding. Not only for yourself but also for her sake, you should walk away from this, however difficult that may be. Take care. ride:
Thank you, guys. You are absolutely right. Of course I will not fo anything. I am not even sure I want anything to happen. I just hate the situation..
I agree with everyone above. Also, how can you know she is your soulmate and feels the same for you? Are you both absolutely in love with each other, can't stay away, and privately meet to deal with this because your relationship is too risky and you think you can't be together? Sounds like too much too soon. One month does not a soulmate make! One month does make a great infatuation, though.
Well, it's everything you mentioned. She IS my soulmate. We have an amazing connection and I intend to keep her as friend.She is amazing and I don't want to loose her. Nothing has to happen. We can spend time together, talk, have fun. it does not have to end in bed.
Be very careful. If the feelings are that strong, you may be setting yourself up to get hurt. You say "nothing has to happen" now, but in a few months will you still be able to say that? Think long and hard on this, it may be better to just walk away completely.
Well, I know I have to be careful, but more about not hurting her. At this point she doesn't quite know what is happening - she just feels this very strong connection, and as a young person, she is not overanalyzing it or overthinking about what ifs etc. I know nothing can happen and she knows that too. Maybe she came into my life to teach me that not every relationship has to be physical.
It's hard with the teacher-student relationship being one of unequal power. She probably sees you as brilliant because of your teaching, research, etc. but what she does not see is the painstaking time it took to get there. It just looks so effortless and magical to a student. Maybe after some time paases from when she is your student, you could see if the flame is still there.
I agree, it could be one side of it. The problem is I look very young, so at my 36 I barely look older than her. So it must be hard for her to comprehend that there actually is a pretty big age gap.. And I was completely different at her age, so my experience is probably the reason she is attracted to me. I am amazed by her mature mind, far beyond her years, her wisdom, combined with good portion of playful craziness - I just love her personality, maybe because it reflects my own. It's very rare to meet someone who is on the same page with you, at least for me, because I have always been a weirdo.
Even if you weren't married, it would still be a bad idea. The teacher-student relationship has an unequal power imbalance. Doesn't matter if you were single, It can cross dangerous territories. You may be reported, lose your job, and be filed for sexual harassment/assault if she reports. Even though she is technically an adult, the teacher/student relationship is seen as immoral at all ages. I'm 26 myself. I would never want to date a 36 year old and would be especially creeped out if it were my own teacher. I would probably report such a person for sexual harassment and would feel unsafe at school. I am not saying this to invalidate your feelings or make you look bad, I'm just trying to show you the reality of how dangerous this situation is. You must make sure she never knows about this and you need to get over your feelings ASAP.
Thank you for your opinion, but please read carefully my posts. I have never intented to DATE her. It's just nice to meet someone with the same mind, same passions. It's not about sex or dating. ---------- Post added 6th Dec 2016 at 08:15 PM ---------- I am completely aware of my position, trust me and I would never take an advantage of her
Honestly, you say this, but I read something different in your posts. The way you were talking about her, sounded like you were ready to date her, and have an affair. Look, do what you want, but I think even being friends with a student is very unprofessional. Not to mention inappropriate. Even if it never gets sexual or romantic, that could be seen as a conflict of interest by many. Tread carefully.
Oh I'm aware you don't actually want to physically date her. But you have an infatuation with her, and even just having her pick that up is enough to get you reported. That's why I said to tread carefully. It's better to maintain distance in situations like this.
intended, sorry. My grammar gets worse then I get emotional ---------- Post added 6th Dec 2016 at 08:25 PM ---------- Oh, you are all right ---------- Post added 6th Dec 2016 at 08:25 PM ---------- I wil end it ---------- Post added 6th Dec 2016 at 08:32 PM ---------- When, dammit:bang: I guess I am very upset right now. ---------- Post added 6th Dec 2016 at 08:38 PM ---------- To be honest, I guess I am more upset about the fact some of you instantly see me as some kind of sexual predator from bad lesbian porn movies who will seduce the poor innocent student and ruin her life. It's really not about that. I admit, if she wouldn't be a student, maybe I would allow something to happen, but I am still not sure, because sex always changes things. Trust me she will not ever feel any innapropriate wi es from me, I am skilled enought in that area and can hide pretty much every feeling I have. 10 years of marriage has taught me well.