What are you thinking?

Like, almost every other Conservative Christian my "friend" compared being gay to Bestiality. Ugh!!

 

*Gives blood at blood drive*
*Almost passes out so the people go and take me to recovery*
*My friend who uses gender neutral pronouns asks if they can come back with me*
*Before they ask and end up misgendering them, I say "Yeah, they can come back with me."*
*Friend gushes and says thank you for getting people to get their pronouns right*
*Feels amazing afterwards because I gave blood and helped out my friend*

So that was amazing. Also, I have no clue how my University romance life is going, but I'm definitely doing a lot more than I ever did in high school.

 

I'm moved into my new apartment now. Yay. It feels good to finally be able to start saving money again. Yay. Also it's closer for my roommate to work, so he isn't biking at night for miles at a time. Yay. Also we made out in my car and it was nice. And we got really awesome Bloody Mary's and giant grilled cheese sandwiches at Melt. Yay. Today is a good day.

 

I loooove porn.

Spoiler

Gay porn of course

 

Depression is such a bitch... -.- :bang:

 

I never thought I'd have to say these words out loud, but.... My granddad has cancer. It wasn't certain earlier this week, but now the doctors are sure. He has cancer.

 

So last night walking to my car, I saw these two guys walking at me. I could tell they were douches by how loud and obnoxious they were from down the road. You can just know. They walked past and uttered "damn that's a big bitch".

I did have 3 inch wedge heels on but at least I was a "bitch" and not "whoa that's a dude what a fag" or something.

Still, gender aside, shaming tall women is abhorrent.

 

Pretty stressed out. I wish I had the weekend off but no...such a busy time and it's hard to keep track of everything going on. Come on buddy, get what you need to do out of the way. Then you can go back to what your music and writing and all...

 

Back in Canberra after a week in Sydney.

I already miss Sydney, but I do relish the clean air here; the first thing I noticed when I stepped outside at home was the smell of eucalyptus and cherry instead of car fumes.

 

Feeling pretty lonely and sad today; failed this driving test, have to go to court for this bad accident, too much going on, and most days, I don't ever wanna get out of bed.

And for all the years of therapy, and pills, and this and that, what has it all accomplished? My God, 3 decades of therapy and 'medication, and I still plan out my death almost weekly, and the more time goes on, the more detailed it gets, and the older I get, the closer it feels to happening.

Fuck this whole 'It gets better' thing. Maybe if you have money.

If not, nobody cares, and it gets worse.

Even the suicide hotline didn't want to talk; that says something, what?

 

I got my first shiny hatch a few hours ago! I was breeding Mime Jr and I ended up getting a shiny. Totally unintentional but cool nonetheless

 

https://youtu.be/eVTXPUF4Oz4
This sums things up

 

I really don't feel like doing anything today.

 

I'm going home. Got a sub to cover.I feel horrible but I scraped together a lesson plan

 

I'm thinking it's time to try something new. Writing perhaps?

 

Don't worry about it too much Pup, there's a always a diamond that comes out of being crushed brutally It'll happen for you sooner than you think.

 

Aww I'm very sorry to hear that (*hug*)

 

Call it a backhanded compliment? But seriously, I agree, shaming anyone for any reason is bullshit. I'd gladly trade you height any day, because I'm a short guy and that sucks, too.

 

Even the idea of leaving my house anymore makes me anxious as fuck. Huge panic attack last night too. I'll never pass... And there's too many shitty people around.

 

Thanks, it really did help, just a few kind words.

I know I'll more than likely make it though all this, through I do get scared, sometimes, with the sorts of wild mood-swings I've been getting. Sometimes I wish I would have never started to take psych meds; they seem to have messed me up even more, though tapering off them all makes you even crazier, so you get to almost feeling chained to them, and then chained to the job that gives you the medical benefits to get them.

From my own experinace, I'd only resort to meds as a very last resort, and I'm wishing I had held off...

But I feel OK, will see my therpist tomorrow, one that get along with quite well a psychologst vs the pill type, and he's nice...startedout as an English major, so we have that in common.