For as long as I can remember when I realized I was into girls, I have tried to identify when I met people whether they are gay or not. It is not that I am very aware of this happening, just when I think I meet someone gay (mostly girls) I get this feeling like, ah she must be into girls. Now I cannot always confirm whether they are really gay, but I get this feeling that they sort of 'know' that I am too? It has to do something with the way they approach me and talk to me... Sometimes, with girls that I am not even really interested in, I get this intense stare in the eyes, like a dead stare, which to me feels like a sign like "hey I know your secret...". Have any of you experienced this? There is currently also at work a girl that I am kind of developing a crush on and she gives off these intense stares (at least to me it seems this way), but I am a bit afraid that I am picking up on nothing and that she just looks that way? Ugh idk! What are your thoughts on gaydar? Some friends of me (both gay and straight) do not really believe in gaydar, but think it is more based on stereotyping... What do you guys think? I really feel like I am quite good at picking the gay ones out (girls more than guys) that are not very obvious! :eusa_doh: Would love to hear your experiences on this
You might have a look at this: That 3 To 5 Seconds.. - YouTube and this: http://emptyclosets.com/forum/sexual-romantic-orientation/146045-flirting.html#6
You might want to read this: http://www.nytimes.com/2012/06/03/opinion/sunday/the-science-of-gaydar.html I also believe people can feel when they have attraction with someone. It helps if you're both into each other's gender. Thus, the notice of that attraction can be seen as a kind of gay dar.
I sort of have a gaydar but I can only tell if guys are guy nor girls <.> so it's hard for me to get a gf lel ---------- Post added 10th Nov 2014 at 09:23 PM ---------- gay* sorry
I have it. I read the NYT article above. I'm not too sure that I would be able to tell based on a photograph, but for the most part I'm pretty accurate.
The intense stare might not mean that they are sexually interested in you. Intense stare is different than the bedroom stare invitation for sex. But yeah i agree that it felt like a secret bond there haha
I have to agree with some of the YT comments on the video. Some people are shy and I would have thought eye contact with someone they were attracted to would be more unnerving then someone who was of a gender they were not attracted to. For example, I could probably stare fiercely at my male tutor for a minute or so, but I think I would be slightly less confident to do that with a female tutor.
But you would probably look longer, imO... if its someone you are not interested in, you would just give a short glance and look away... and if you are shy, I'd say you probably would glance back later, maybe even a few times.... (*hug*)
I agree if you were very attracted to them, but the video was not specifically saying attracted was it? Just looking at a girl, then sussing them out. I think I slightly undermined my own argument! Can I say I hold by my view that shy people would look away, but agree with you that they would be likely to snatch cautious glances later (if the person was still in vision, clearly). With myself though I think having a weird staring contest with a guy might sometimes continue longer because it does not mean much. I am probably miles away in my head. It is kind of like when a guy stares at me and I am bored and look away. Sometimes staring is not meaningful because you are off with the faeries. But there definitely is a 3-5 second meaningful stare, I just don´t think its appropriate to all types of personality within the community.
Wish I had a gaydar I could rely on. Im going to get a slap one day as I stare at females trying to work them out while forgetting they can see me staring at them :icon_redf
*laughs* you could smile and say you admire their blouse... or whatever They usually sense if you're looking interested or creepy
I have to say, my gaydar is pretty damn stellar. That said, even if I'm pretty sure of someone's orientation, I can't often tell what their body language means. And I don't agree with the quick look away meaning someone isn't gay. I look away all the time and I don't look stereotypically gay, so I get overlooked almost all the time except by those who are particularly observant or patient enough for me to look back again. ---------- Post added 16th Nov 2014 at 05:19 PM ---------- There's this intensity in the stare of lesbians. It's like straight at you, unabashed, knowing, calm, longer than usual.. And totally unnerving most of the time. That intensity of stare is like a trademark and screams gay, even when they don't know they're doing it. I do it too, without meaning to. It's one of my favorite things.
If a gaydar is a thing that exists....mine is broken/missing. Unless a person is extremely obvious (ie. adheres to all the stereotypes), I will not pick up on it.
My gaydar en is based on how guys look at me or other guys. A friendly smile too often triggers me thinking someone is gay. Most straight guys have this roughness towards other guys so when a guy is too friendly faced my gaydar tingles haha
Hi Deetje I think Gardar is real but for it to work it has to be a 2 way process otherwise it’s just wishful thinking. When I first started to come to terms with being gay in later life I posted my thoughts on Gaydar in the following post http://emptyclosets.com/forum/1510422-post8.html I found when I turned off my “Gaydar Jammer” I started to see, and acknowledge, gay guys all over the place. SGG
Its like... I like you... I'm interested in you... I see you... its not specific only for lesbians... Imo it is a common thing, like lifting a hand in greeting when others do so, too... Imo it might be practised... looking friendly and interested...
Interesting. I was chatting to a friend about this recently who's gay. She said the 'I see you' thing too, like they're looking right into you. She also said sometimes their voice changes when they're speaking to someone they fancy and I think that happens with men too, almost as if the voice is a little richer/more intimate, as if they're only speaking to you? has anyone found that or is that nuts?