Imagine you're ten or eleven years old. Your social circle isn't big but you never wanted it to be. You like your friends. It's enough. Then you go to sleep one night. You wake up, you're creeping into your 20's and you find yourself all alone and you can't figure out how you got to that point. That is the condensed story of my life and I'm still not sure how to fix it. Where do you go to make friends? Other than bars, which I hate. How do you go out to make friends when you have no one to go out with in the first place? Social anxiety makes that hard. I don't know what to do. I'm tired of being lonely but I don't know what to do. Sorry if this is a little ramble-y or if it doesn't make much sense. I'm tired and not in such a good place right now.
(*hug*) Hi there. Sorry you are hurting. It's hard to meet people. I'm a Diva here, but in Meatspace I know like 4 people. What do you like to do? What hobbies do you have?
(*hug*)If we met irl, I bet we'd be friends. Sorry you're lonely, but we're here if that helps at all. ---------- Post added 2nd Oct 2014 at 05:29 PM ---------- And also, I have no idea how to make friends either.
I know it's hard when we all have anxiety. I got lucky recently and the new neighbors at my apartment complex are nice. Still in the "getting to know you" part, but it's an improvement. I totally agree about bars and such. I used to meet people thru like anime and wargames, but those people kinda dropped me when I 1st came out Bi.
I don't have many hobbies. I like reading and gaming and some anime. And walking if that can be considered a hobby. Thanks. That does help.
I used to meet people thru the local anime store. Do you have anything like that? Lots of different people are into anime.
No, there's nothing like that here. There's really not much of anything here. The closest thing to that would be the manga/comics section at the bookstore. Which is just like two shelves lol
I used to walk everywhere, all of the time and I definitely would have considered it a hobby. Do you like hiking too? Because there are always groups that go for random hikes. I've never tried it but I always thought it might be fun.
I hear ya'. The local 'town' has Walmart. ;p You are so sweet, you and Ophelia both. You'd think you'd have whole circles of friends. Does your town have a bookstore? Maybe there are reading clubs?
Do you have hobbies and interests that you can share with other people? I am largely in the same position as you. Socially anxious to the point where I become isolated. My plan is that when I feel ready I am going to meet people through my love of painting and drawing. Art conventions, gallery showings or stuff like that. Also if you are a gamer steam can be a great way to socialize. Lately I have been playing a lot of GW2 and have thought about joining and LGBT friendly guild, but haven't really decided to do anything but think about it so far.
I know it's hard. Ashley made me go to that party at my apartments last week and I really had fun, but there are other days that I just can't face people at all. Like today, I'm just staying in and hanging out here. The reason I say 'Meatspace' is because I don't like it when people online say 'oh my In Real Life friends'. My online friends *are* real.
That would be fun! I've looked and there doesn't seem to be any hiking groups or anything like that. At least nothing I can find listed online, other than a guided tour that a group can hire out. And I dont have a group. There is a bookstore. They have book signings there sometimes but no clubs. At least none that I've seen advertised.
Could you start a reading club? Is it a store that has coffee and tables? If they have even a bulletin board, you could try. I know it's hard and scary. Believe me. (*hug*)
I used to do a lot of online gaming, but haven't for years now. The friends I made that way were nice, but all very far away. The trouble is finding people to connect with close by.
I didn't mean that, you are all already so important to me. The reason I don't use "Meatspace" is because I'm a vegan and when I write that down it makes me feel gross. Not when you write it though. ---------- Post added 2nd Oct 2014 at 06:12 PM ---------- Most of the ones that looked interesting to me are for people & their dogs and I don't have a dog right now. I don't think my cat would appreciate a forced hike. Lol. Are you interested in any environmental causes, because sometimes the state parks have things like clean up days and stuff where you could just show up if you want to and help out a little. I've been thinking of doing that because if it's too awkward when I get there I could just leave.
No worries Ophelia. (*hug*) I love my girls here, I really do. I've been hurt often enough in the big world that it was hard to connect even here. I haven't even been outside today to check the mail. I'm happy I came out Transexual to my Mom, and I'm afraid I might be so girly or some damn thing in front of the neighbors. I am not remotely ready to pass, and I just don't need drama around the neighbors, y'know?
I agree. I've always thought online friends are just as important. No there's nothing like that. It's just a small little store. I've sorta thought about starting a club of some sort but I don't think I could. Just going to one would be hard enough. At least then if I hated it I could just bail.
Lurk in book stores... Seriously, try hanging out in that sort of place. But really, same position as you. I gave up when I had two good friends, both of whom are still with me. Don't feel you need everything, just that 1 or 2 supportive people is all you need to aim for. And of course, there's internet people, which really I valued as much as my 'irl' friends. (valued because now gf and bff, but still).
Yeah, that's really all I want. Just a couple good friends. Maybe I'll try the lurking thing this weekend.