she was just thinking about it. And it's me who's worried. because we have an amazing life together and maybe you'll find this selfish but, I'm not attracted to girls. I don't like boobs. I don't like girls. I have no problem with her presenting as a female and using female pronouns, she very pretty and can easily pass as female, but if she takes hormones, I'm scared my attraction to her will fade (trust me I don't want that but it wouldn't be something I would have a power over..) because... I like guys! Feminine guys but still guys! And I can't bare the thought of this.. Losing attraction to her.. I can't. She's my everything. my other half. but she saw how upset this whole thing made me and she agree to try other ways to transition without hormones...
Ah...yeah, see that has the potential to become a much bigger problem if you leave it like that... I'm really not sure how much I should actually say at this point, because obviously I don't want to randomly lecture you about things, but I am pretty worried about what could happen if you both try and ignore what could be a pretty MASSIVE thing...
I know... that's why we are both in a terrible situation.. But she said she is not even sure she want hormone, she was just saying that as a maybe.. I want her to be happy but I'm scared about how my attraction will cope with this, if she gets on hormone. ---------- Post added 3rd Jun 2014 at 06:54 PM ---------- I know that most of you will want to lecture me and think I'm selfish, but trust me it's really not an easy situation.. But since she's not even sure.. we'll try other stuff to make her feel better.. if all fails, we'll see then...
I mean.. I'll support her and will stay, there is no way I'm gonna leave, but what if my attraction fades? ---------- Post added 3rd Jun 2014 at 06:56 PM ---------- I didn't come here to be judge about my feelings and sexual orientation (I do not like girls!! what can I do??) I was just asking about the changes the HRT does.
That really depends on your partner, doesn't it. Some people can tolerate the idea that their partner doesn't find them physically attractive, others would hate that idea. Honestly, if you find yourself with no attraction to your partner and they don't like it, then you need to think about whether staying in the relationship is actually a good idea...
You don't understand... she's not just a date... we are everything to each other. we can't bare the idea of losing each other. ---------- Post added 3rd Jun 2014 at 07:03 PM ---------- But thx all for the information.
I understand perfectly well. Your romantic interest is strong, but generally speaking their are two components to a relationship, and one of those is physical. Now unless you are an asexual couple, then the physical relationship is going to have SOME level of importance to you. Again, this is something you need to discuss with your partner. All I'm saying is that if they aren't happy about having a relationship without meaningful physical contact, then staying has no purpose.
It is tempting to judge but that won't help your situation or hers so, I'll reserve judgment and try to address the situation directly. 1) Whether or not she goes on HRT is not your decision. 2) Even if she isn't ever on HRT, it sounds as if she identifies herself as a woman (if she's presenting female, using female pronouns) so, I hate to break it to you but you aren't dating a man now. If you're still attracted to her now, why do you think that would change? It sounds to me as if you are attracted to at least one woman... 3) If she wants specific changes, if you would list them, we could provide alternatives to HRT if that is what she is wanting right now. 4) Could you specify what it is that you're wanting not to change? Is it the idea of breasts that bothers you?
Mum and sisters have C's I believe, which is unfortunate, since that's what I was shooting for! :eusa_doh:
I wonder if you really don't understand the original poster's worries, or if you simply feel the strong need to protect their partner. Maybe there are people who don't care about the body of their partner, but I would call them bi. Sure, the OP's partner has a problem, but so have they. And I am sure they need support too. IMHO.
You're right, they do need support, but that's not something we can possibly provide if the their solution doesn't work properly, which is why we said they need to discuss it together.
Holly, I would like to ask about one thing. I can't stress enough that I don't want to flame or offend anyone. How do you feel about what was said above that the OP may not like girls but they are clearly attracted to at least one? In the context of this tread I mean. We are talking about sexual attraction here. The OP's partner may be a mtf (I don't know how they identify), but I don't think that that makes OP's statement "I don't like girls" less valid. I think that the problem is that the OP is afraid that after the possible transition, they won't be sexually attracted to their partner. Not that they will fall out of love with them. And in that context I feel that they are not attracted to a girl. And that's unfortunatelly why so many couples don't survive transition.
Your results will vary since everyone is different and you get what you get. You can't choose what you get so no, you can't "decide" what size they are. As far as changes go, yes--but how much and how the dosages correlate with that as far as genitalia goes, I'm not fully certain.
I was the one who made that comment and if the OP's partner is a woman and they are attracted to her now, then they are attracted to THIS woman. You don't "become" a woman (or man) through HRT or surgery, you already ARE one. :dry:
