What are you thinking?

I don't know what's worse to come to terms with: death after the fact or impending death.

 

I haven't been on often. .-.
Life's been okay I guess..
Relationship-wise, things are okay.
School-wise, the school year is ending. I'm gonna miss lots of friends.
Family-wise, close family members still haven't accepted my sexuality. :/

I need a pork chop.

 

oh and y'know what's amazing? my crappy ass phone has not gone off for any time i've set it for as an alarm for like many many days. Not once. Been totally unreliable.

But then i had it set apparently for like 12:30pm and i was in the ss office and oh, that's when it decides to finally, after all the other times, go off. That thing be trollin' lol

 

One minute I'd love to talk to someone and hang out, but then when actually given that opportunity, I just want to be left alone. I wish I could be a normal social person.

 

Wish I had what half the population has and some of them wish they had what I have...

 

(*hug*)

---------- Post added 9th May 2014 at 09:10 PM ----------

Yeah I suppose, guess I could give it a shot. ....

---

Aww people do that? I'm sorry.

 

*twitch* people are pointing your weight out? -.- *cracks knuckles* :***:

:icon_redf I'm sorry, buddy. Hey, I can tell you my work out regimen at home. It's not much but better than nothing?

I don't like gyms, either. (*hug*)

 

Weaponizing, day 4!

 

Cheers, girl!

 

Yep, that's pretty much where I'm at too...

 

And I'm about to lose the title of EC's most prolific poster pretty soon.

 

Just my mother and grandmother really. And I get where my grandmother's coming from, she happened to mention she noticed I'd gained weight since moving in, but still makes me feel like shit. My mom likes to dredge it up whenever she's pissed "OH. Well you're gaining weight and if you were really a man you wouldn't be so depressed and you'd want to look good"

Thing is, I was almost okay with being on the heavy side (I've never been thin- maybe when I was really little but I've been fat most of my life) until grandmother happened to mention the weight thing.

And it's like, it's kinda one of those things that makes me never want to eat again. It feels like it doesn't matter what I eat- I'm gonna be fat anyway. I lost 50 pounds last year but I gained it all back and I'm right now back at my original weight where I was at my heaviest. I'm about 220 pounds right now and I look like shit.

I want to work out but I'm either unmotivated or too paranoid. But yeah. What's the routine?

 

Sometimes you just have to warrior up and get over it. Also, instead of thinking of it as "exercising" or "going to the gym" you can think of it in terms of your immediate goals.

For example, I call it "transition," and on days that doesn't work, "weaponizing."

 

Well, I pretty much have 2 weeks of nothing to do.... and frankly I'm very fine with that

 

Thanks. I'll keep it in mind.

Kinda on a side note, really hungry and haven't eaten dinner but I really don't want to eat.

 

My iPhone 5 stopped charging and died last night, so no phone until I get it fixed/replaced. Plus, I have to be at work in the morning, go to a wedding at 4:00 and meet my friends for dinner with no money. I'll be glad when this week is over. x_x

 

So who is a full member now?

I know the harem members are... C'mon, speak up now.

 

Yay congrats! :icon_bigg

 

Hey I've been a full member since Jan.

 

(*hug*)