I was thinking about this for a while and seeing as there is no current topic about this, I thought it would be interesting to see what other people think. What would be the dealbeaker for you in a relationship? It could be anything trivial or serious, just post what you think would make you want to get out of a relationship. Mine would probably be if they cheated on me (especially if it was because they were bored of me).
^^^All of the above, and includes... Judgmental attitude, Arrogant/Pretentious/Holier-than-thou/High horse attitude, etc. Ethnocentrism/racism/sexism/etc., Obnoxious attitudes, Loudmouth (unless he's angry, which is usually a natural reaction) Rudeness And uhh there's more but I can't think of them all
Judgemental Cheated (especially since I'm open to pulomory so behined my back is just idiodic and rude.) Drug use Lies Silent treatment Pressures me Insults Abuse Bullies people And more but this is off the top of my head.
Their view of religion. I could not be in a relationship with someone who felt the need to sneer and mock those who believe, religion as a whole, anything like that. Disagreement is one thing, as is not believing. Openly mocking people for believing, making it a point to sneer and be rather hateful towards everything falling under the umbrella of religion is another. Obsessive insect/spider/etc. killer. What I mean is someone who feels the need to kill every single creepy crawly in the house, the type who get all "KILL IT DEAD" when a spider runs across the floor. I do not kill creepy crawlies and I cannot live with anyone who has so little respect for life, however small and disgusting they may perceive it to be. I probably have some more, but they tend to change depending on the individual and where my head is at with the relationship.
I've ended a (troubled) relationship as a result of violence (not directed at me exactly but I could see that being the next step). When it happened, this voice in my head just said 'that's it, I'm done' and the next day I began taking steps to leave. When my partner and I moved past the dating stage, I told him I would not tolerate drug use in the relationship (drugs aren't uncommon in theater circles). He agreed and has kept that promise ever since. I can't say I've encountered any of the other issues that folks have raised here in my experience. Todd
Mine are: Drug use Gauged ears, yucky Bellybutton Piercings Arrogance Piercings anywhere BUT the ears. Lying and Cheating Alcoholic
Drugs/Alcoholic Violence/Abusing Judgmental Cheating Intolerant Bigoted Bullies others. Rudeness ...that's all I know off the top of my head; but I'm sure there's more.
^^^All of the above with the addition of; HE MUST PUT ME FIRST! Except his children and close family being the exception. Feels the need to have sex with women too!!!! lazyness being a con artist criminal behavior (the kind that gets prison time) Not speeding or jay walking be within 10 years of my age unless he is the exception and a big one for me is good hygene!!! and teeth that are clean if we are going to kiss... June
I can't deal with a compulsive/pathological liar, a chronic smoker or drinker, or a person who gets off on tormenting other people. Or those special kinds of people who believe that their intellect is a gift from God (or perhaps genetics since a majority are atheists), who gloat, and gloat, and gloat. They irk me. I just want a nice, tolerant, compassionate human being to spend a good sum of my time with.
Actually, I think I'm too forgiving. I mean, if I saw them murder like 20 people on the evening news I might take that as a red flag, but maybe I have to be more willing to dump someone who's a selfish jerk. :dry:
Heavy drug use and smoking tobacco. Also their choice on if they want kids or not, since I want a family.
Aggressiveness Cheating Unhealthy amounts of jealousy Dependancy/clingyness Arrogance/pretentiousness/cockiness Anything else I can deal with.
~Cheating ~Drugs/the smoking of anything (even weed) ~Excessive drinking (including getting drunk; self-control, especially over your senses, is very important to me.) ~Abusiveness (both verbally and physically) ~Deeply religious and/or political people - Politics and religion are two subjects I'd rather not talk about too much since they both trigger me and cause me to feel very stressed, so I could not be with anyone who was deeply entrenched in one or both. ~Wanting kids (I don't want children) ~Furry pets (like dogs and cats): Not a deal-breaker, per se, but I have very bad pet allergies. I already have to pop in allergy pills whenever spring and autumn roll around. I don't want to pop pills 365 days out of the year... If he wants a reptile or fish or something, I'd be okay with that.
That usually comes about when you, deep down, don't feel like you deserve better. As you learn to love and believe in yourself, and believe you deserve someone who is kind, loving, and caring... then it becomes easier to stand up and say "Sorry, but this isn't working for me" and (to yourself), "I deserve better."
Tattoos- One or two decent sized tattoo is fine i don't like sleeves Piercings besides the ears Drugs Liars Doesn't have a job or always broke The "Me" First attitude Smoking Weed Alcoholic- I'm fine with going out and having a few drinks but getting wasted is a turn off and embarrassing Can't hold a conversation and not good at keeping in touch
For me Current Drug use Objectifying Me (Only calling me a cute twink) Trying to make the relationship all about sex Being judgmental to others Drinking too much Any form of threats or forcefulness Expecting me to dump all my friends, or have nothing to do with other LGBT people Cruelty to others