From this day forward, I swear upon my pride and honor to enact emotional and physical celibacy contingent on my following standards: 1) Heath and Appearance: -Shoulder width -Facial Symmetry -Height -Facial conformity to social norms 2) Intelligence -Vocabulary -Wit and Humor -World Knowledge -Story Telling 3) Social Status: -Education -Job -Income -Possessions and Fashion 4) Personality: -Kindness -Adaptability -Generosity -Morality All of the above must be equal, higher, or overall the same(Balancing pros and cons), to my own. Preferably they will be equal. I'm not asking for more than I than what I have earned, just what I as a human being of rational self worth deserve. The above criterion will not be judged by societies standards, but my own. I also pledge that to the best of my ability that I will fulfill the above criterion in order that I achieve the maximum self worth possible. That which is immutable shall not remain as guilt, but as a motivation to improve. Signed: Jose Carioca
Basically, I did this as my own moral code for choosing a potential person to share my love with. It will be difficult, but I believe, very rewarding in the end. Even if I have to wait 50 years. The advice I seek is what your opinions on the above are.
I guess thats fine, just not something i would do personally. I really only have one stipulation and thats that i love him and he loves me. I dont really believe in "rating" people or putting them on a scale or checklist or something. People are very complex and hard to define. I also dont believe in crossing someone off my list because they are not as good in appearance, intelligence or status as myself. After all i dont fall in love with someones status in the world or how much money they make. It seems a reasonable thing to do though. If you feel your worth something you should not have to compromise. Just try not to take it too far, and every once in awhile try and look back and re-evaluate. Your going to change alot over the next 50 years and im sure you will value certain things more than others as time goes by.
Honestly? Even if I could trump your here defined standards .. I would run from you if I knew you had this "requirements list". Also I don't think too fond of people trying to place themselves above others like that .. It's one thing to know what you're looking for in a man, but it's another thing if you won't even consider a guy when he doesn't match your very specific criteria ..
I'm not degrading people to feel better about myself, it's more so that I don't have to go through the whole shame thing after having lowered my standards, if that makes sense. I'm not doing this to bolster my own pride, but to protect it.
no way i could match up to a list like that im jsut me and it aint great... i dont think i could match standards...
And that's fine. Understand that I don't hate or despise anyone for not meeting them. These are the scientifically shown means of attraction(See the works of Pierce J, Howard, Ph.D.). I didn't choose them Darwin did. By not adhering to them I have hurt other people and myself. I'm not doing this to be a pretentious jerk-wad, I'm doing it to protect my feelings and those of others. I also do not want someone who is substantially higher than myself, according to these standards. That would be unfair to them and to myself. It's better to be honest than to drag someone along for an emotional roller coaster. That is the essence of my contract. It is not explicit, but implicit. To understand this is to sympathize with my vow. I vow, not against my emotions or consciousness, but with complete agreement that I shall never commit such an act to the best of my ability. It is immoral and unjust. Immoral because I value honesty over lies, value over pity, and reality above all. The person that understood this, would ironically be worthy. He who tried to understand my vow would break it. It's simple really.
Also, I just looked under your user name, and you need to buck up a little bit. You can't possibly be the most useless person in the world. The fact that you are literate and can think proves this as such. I am not trying to bolster your self pride, but to show you that you are fundamentally wrong. Make use of your existence and prove yourself wrong. [To people that think I'm being aggressive: please correct me on any errors I will gladly yield; in fact, it would be a great pleasure.]
Well, I was too trying to find Mr Perfect, until I found that imperfect man I fall madly in love with
Well it's his list, people are taking this too seriously. If he wants to find a compatible person who is it hurting. And most of you are assuming he's looking for an attractive guy, when I don't even know what the OP looks like. He could be fat and ugly looking for someone just like himself. Or just the opposite. This is actually based on psychology stuff....
I don't know the original wording, but she said it somehow like that: "Perfection in a man is something that you can admire - but not love" (Jeanne Moreau)
I'm not looking for perfect, if you read the list, I'm looking for equitable. An equal partner. That is what the paragraph below the standards elaborates one. I believe you read it too quickly perhaps. The caveats are the most important part. The very topic post is the bare bones description. If you want the real meat and thinking behind it, I suggest that you read the rest of my comments.
I agree. My theory above is in perfect agreement with that statement. It may be an elaboration, but it does not contest with that statement. It's one of those things that I've thought about very carefully. It's hard to accept because it contains things that people espouse as evil: judging based on looks, etc. But that is not the entire or even a substantial foundation of it. It is necessary, and proper when looked at holistically. The theory basically is this: I vow to find an equal rather than an inferior, whom I can not respect, or a superior whom I can not attain.(Though attain is not the correct word "earn" would be more proper.)
If I followed your criteria in most points, I would have to dump my boyfriend (I won't). The only ones that matter are under 4 (Personality) and I'm not too sure about "morality" as an issue. By the way, what is "facial symmetry"? Or "facial conformity to social norms"? :eek: And celibacy is rarely a good thing. Pipes rust and sperm cells get old. You might forget the pin or password once you find Mr. Right.
I'll give it a week, then you'll shag someone not even close to this artificial requirements list. Haven't you got better things to do in your spare time?
I think most people take issue with this because it just sounds / feels / seems so cold and clinical. Love doesn't work like that. Once you've found someone that meets these standards, THEN you have to have them feel the same way about you. At the same time, I understand that we will often find a partner who is our equal in many respects - or has good points and bad points that offset each other to where we are comfortable taking them as a partner. And everyone will have different standards - but if one is being realistic, those standards will be in line with what they themselves have to offer. But in the mean time... why a vow of celibacy? There's Mr. Right and then there's Mr. Right Now. :icon_wink Some of the qualities you're looking to evaluate aren't things you can simply observe by looking at a person. You need to get to know them and spend time with them. Perhaps even get intimate with them to really determine if they are compatible.