Hey, I need help. I’ve been feeling really questioning of my gender lately and I don’t know what to really do. For most of my life I’ve been a cis man, pansexual yeah, but still. But now I’m having second thoughts. I don’t want to pretend to be trans or something, and I’ve never experienced dysphoria. I don’t know what to do.
I suppose I should add a few things. I am decently comfortable in my body, I just think that maybe being a girl or something would feel better, I guess. It's kinda hard to put it into words, but I think I would feel more comfortable being a woman. If anyone has any advice, I would be happy to hear it.
Hey Sam, As far as I have heard, not all trans people feel dysphoria, and those who do not are still completely valid. It all comes down to what body you feel comfortable in; what identity makes you the most complete inside. How long have you felt like this? If it's relatively recent, try to spend some more time in figuring things out. Ask yourself if you are content with how your body looks; if seeing yourself in the mirror makes you feel good about yourself in terms of gender. Do you see yourself living happier if you were a woman instead of a man? It doesn't matter whether you end up deciding that you'd rather stay a man in the end, there's nothing wrong with experimenting and finding out about how you feel about yourself. You're not faking anything. Just take your time with it and don't rush it, no one's urging you. Do what feels the best inside. Hope it helps.
Thanks for your positive words. I think that I've been feeling this for close to three months. I thought it would go away after some time, but it's just been hanging out in my head. I haven't really known what to do. I think I would be happier if I was.... A woman, I suppose. I haven't really thought about it until now. I'm still pretty comfortable with myself though. I remember previously calling myself "pronoun indifferent" or something, so being referred to as any pronoun isn't really a problem, I guess. And while I don't experience really bad dysphoria, I don't particularly like how my body looks that much.
What really helped me figure myself out was not putting that much pressure on myself to find the answer to "am i trans or not", and instead focusing on what I knew would make me feel more comfortable with myself. Some people know instantly that they're trans, for others it ends up being a thing of "i do X, Y and Z so by definition that makes me trans" - me included. So, what can you control here? What do you want? "I think I would be happier as a woman" is a good start, but it's really broad. Being a woman entails a lot of different things; do you want to look like a woman anatomically? Do you want to be able to dress like a woman (this you can do without being trans as well)? Do you want to be treated like a woman? These are still really broad, though. I for one started experimenting with clothing, and it wasn't that drastic. I started with some hoodies and t shirts and it took me 6 years to completely switch to a man's wardrobe (although I had the limitations of a teen whose parents bought his clothing). Maybe slightly more fem clothing could be a start? Or, even smaller, trying out nail polish or some make up? See how you like it. Maybe you'll realise you're trans and want to be perceived as a woman in society, maybe you'll realise you're still a man but who really enjoys a feminine presentation. Whatever the conclusion, it's fine as long as you're content with yourself.
Oh, bro, I LOVE nail polish. I don't wear it often cuz it's a pain to put on. I actually still have some, and have been planning to put it on. As for feminine clothing, that's also kinda....Broad. Like a dress, or just clothing that's just more feminine? Honestly, since I was even a kid, I liked all kinds of 'feminine' stuff. I loved pink, unicorns, all that kinda stuff. Still do, in fact. I've got earrings, even planning to get more eventually. Almost all of my friends growing up were of the opposite gender, because I just got along with them better. I don't own any dresses, but they seem alright. I probably would wear them. And for the happier as a woman thing it just.... Feels right, I guess. I don't know how else to describe it.
Yes, what is it about being a woman that you think would make you happier? If it's just brighter clothing and makeup, well, that's something that could be fixed overnight. If it's having boobs and a vagina, yes that would indicate that you probably are transgender. Beth x
You all have given me a decent amount to think about, and thank you. I’ll try and figure out exactly what I want, even if I don’t exactly know what yet. I’m going to try and hopefully, find out more about myself, and maybe if I am truly trans. Thanks.
If it all feels right, then it's pretty okay to say you're trans. When I first discovered I was trans I'd just felt this euphoria, when I imagined myself as a guy. I felt no dysphoria whatsoever, it was just this wonderful feeling and knowing that something don't fit together, but later all the puzzle piezes sifted into place.
Thanks man. I'm still gonna think about it and try and figure myself out for a while. Thank y'all for your support.
Good idea. Take baby steps. It's all a journey. There is no hurry to have it figured out right away. It's also perfectly okay if you discover that it isn't you. No one can tell you who you are or aren't.
Having some degree of gender dysphoria is a clear sign someone is transgender and in many countries it's required to be diagnosed by a doctor or gender therapist to be allowed a medical transitioning. Gender dysphoria is about feeling like you either miss a gendered body part that should be there, have a body part that feels foreign and that it affects your daily life to an extreme degree. For example causing depression, anxiety, you aren't able to recognize yourself when looking in the mirror and that you thinks changing your body or medically transitioning is life saving. The symptoms usually starts from an early age. Many trans people that I know have these experiences. If someone is a trans woman (AMAB/MTF) and experience gender dysphoria, she may feel disgusted by the idea of having male genitalia and wanting female ones instead. She also may hate seeing facial hair, balding etc. to such a serious degree that she struggles going outside, seeing herself and other people seeing her. Being transgender is often about the biological sex characteristics and not necessarily about the gender roles itself. Certain discomfort are possible to have without meaning you are trans. Examples on common discomfort with your own body is when an AFAB think "I wish I never experienced periods" and a AMAB thinks "I wish I didn't lose my hair". These minor comforts can be experienced by both cis, trans and non-binary people. Everyone can be unhappy with certain parts of their body and experiences without it meaning you have gender dysphoria or being trans. If you wants medical transitioning and wants to find out if you are transgender, you may go to a gender therapist or doctor to help you figure it out. Someone can wish being the opposite gender or at least trying it out of curiosity without being trans. Maybe because of strict gender roles. In some societies being a feminine man and masculine woman isn't as accepted. There's a difference between being curious and actually experiencing medical gender dysphoria. Actual trans people often transitioning. People who just breaks gender norms doesn't transitioning. They just doesn't follow society's expectation about career choice, hobbies, clothing etc. --------------- In many countries, to be allowed medically transitioning you need to be diagnosed with gender dysphoria and as binary transgender (earlier called transsexual). I believe that trans people do experience some degree of gender dysphoria (when born in the "wrong" gender) and some degree of euphoria (when looking like the gender they identify as). The degrees varies. So some may experience enough discomfort that they needs to transitioning or seek treatment to improve their lives - without it necessarily causing crippling depression, but for others they can barely function in the daily life and it's extremely necessary. In my opinion a discomfort can be dysphoria without the person necessarily thinking it as it because some trans people feels worse than others. I haven't heard about any trans people who never experienced some forms of dysphoria before.
